Smelling the flowers

Petunia

Member
I've been silent on here for hmm, 17 days. In that span life has totally changed for all of us. Bond's older sister lives in Italy, so we/me have been tracking things since Italy started into this pandemic. On the 8th of March I started seeing models for the first time that showed that the US is 8-11 days behind Italy, but tracking just the same.

It's my nature to research a thing to the point of exhaustion, and to find credible sources, so much of my time has been dedicated to that effort this past week and a half give or take. I started posting on my Facebook page about COVID-19, trying to spread the word and get people to take precautions. I have posted so much information that I was concerned I was being obnoxious, but people started sending me DMs to tell me how much they appreciated it. It has been very affirming to get those messages, and so I have continued to make posts, albeit at a slower rate, as I feel I've given them the tools to find the information. Here's something that struck me as a weird coincidence...last night and the night before two different people that I really don't interact with often in real life (one is the SIL of my former roommate, and the other is a bestie of my bestie that lives up north) and both of them told me "you're a good egg". So there you have it folks, I'm a good egg and not a bad one. :eek: That's weird, right? For both of them to use the same phrase? One is in CA and the other is in MN. They have never met.

I'm anxious and somewhat frustrated that our leadership, all the way from the president, to our governors, to the director of the bureau I work for, is lagging in mandates and direction. At the same time, I realize it takes time to get people to psychologically adjust to restrictions placed upon them, so it has to happen over a matter of days. While I feel our country should be adopting the restrictions European countries are instituting now, I understand why it will take time to get there. And it makes me afraid for our country, and our world. Don't get me started on governors that won't close beaches!

Mostly it was frustrating that the upper management where I work didn't acknowledge that in a week's time we would need to be working remotely. One week ago today I sat in a meeting between two agencies and one of the bureau heads made a kinda-joke about coronavirus disrupting things in the future and no one responded. I knew, and I think he probably knew, that between Thursday and Monday our world would change so much that our total focus would shift to getting people set up to telecommute. I brought my laptop home with me on Friday. My work didn't have a policy in place for telecommuting at the time, so Monday and Tuesday I had to use vacation time in order to not come into the office even though I worked the majority of those days from home. On Wednesday they announced an official policy.

B's ex and his gf traveled right before this and they got sick shortly after returning home. WP, her ex, has been tested for COVID-19, but the results haven't come back. I highly suspect it'll be negative, but we've restricted interactions with her household as a precaution. As fate would have it, her furnace quit working yesterday, so Bond had to go over there last night to check it out. B and the kids left the house, after spraying Lysol and wiping things down in the furnace room. He entered via the patio door on the lower level next to the furnace room too to limit exposure. In the end, he had to set up a service appointment for today. Today marks 10 days since she or the kids have been in contact with him, and none of them have shown any signs of infection. Going on the fact that it's three people that haven't gotten sick we're feeling pretty confident that we can resume contact. It's been a long haul not being able to be together and we're all glad that we can once more be at each other's homes.

My son in southern KY is off of school for at least two weeks. He's going for welding so it's not possible to transition that to online classes. His gf works at a Tractor Supply distribution center and they are still working. I talked to him today and they are having a very hard time finding groceries. She has a 12 month old baby, too. I directed him to Walmart online, but I'm not sure how many days out they are at this point. My backup idea is to set them up with a meal kit delivery subscription.

My other son is rather stressed, because he is finding that potential tenants are scared to sign a lease. He is also stressed with work, because he is the Environmental Health and Safety person so a lot of this falls on his shoulders. Twenty-six years old and he has to make the calls. He said he's had people yell at him every day this week. And to think one week ago he thought this was just a flu until I told him differently. He requested I send him information saying differently and from there his world flipped/broadened/closed, all of that.

This is going to be a shit show.

On the positive side, it's been rather nice to be working from home with Bond set up working from home behind me. He has a hell of a lot more equipment than I do, and he talks aloud quite often when sorting things, and he has more meetings than I do, including web meetings of which I may show up in the background. But it's nice to have company. Oh, the cats have also moved into the new office space with us. :D
 

PinkPig

Member
It is scary and frustrating. We've wasted all this time that could have been spent preparing and gearing up production of safety supplies for the first responders and medical professionals. The probable cost in lives (not to mention the financial fallout) boggles my mind. My industry is one that can not work from home. In my business, a portion of our product is categorized as essential... which is good and bad. Good in that there's a greater chance we will survive financially since production of those products will likely ramp up very quickly... bad in that that means my employees will have greater exposure. Thankfully, we're small and can maintain social distancing even at work.

I hope Bond's sister is ok and that you polycule stays healthy!!
 

Petunia

Member
It is scary and frustrating. We've wasted all this time that could have been spent preparing and gearing up production of safety supplies for the first responders and medical professionals. The probable cost in lives (not to mention the financial fallout) boggles my mind. My industry is one that can not work from home. In my business, a portion of our product is categorized as essential... which is good and bad. Good in that there's a greater chance we will survive financially since production of those products will likely ramp up very quickly... bad in that that means my employees will have greater exposure. Thankfully, we're small and can maintain social distancing even at work.

I hope Bond's sister is ok and that you polycule stays healthy!!

Hi, PinkPig. :) Thank you for posting and thank you and your company for rising up to meet the challenge at risk to yourselves. I'm sure it's hard beyond measure to put yourself out there like that.

Bond is doing some grocery shopping this morning. He'll be wearing gloves and we'll clean everything he buys. Strange world.
 

Petunia

Member
Tomorrow our Governor will issue a "Safer-At-Home" order. Finally. We enter our point-of-no-return starting on the 24th (tomorrow). In order for this to be most effective, we would need to shelter in place for 3 months.

https://covidactnow.org/

From what I've read, it's highly likely we'll have 18 months where we'll need to alternate months of shelter in place followed by lightened restrictions - cycling until a vaccination can be used for immunity.

A good read with some very important information:
Hold the Line


Bond is running his boys to their mothers right now. Yay! It'll be nice to have a nearly empty house for a couple of days.
 

Petunia

Member
How are you doing? This is such a stressful time. I do think we owe a ton of gratitude to our front line workers; people in the food industry, healthcare workers in whatever capacity their job serves a need - there are so many cogs in the wheel, truck drivers, sanitation workers, health services workers, factory workers, and so on. There are so many people who are essential to whom we are indebted.

Yesterday at B's urging we took a vacation day and went hiking at a state park. Coincidentally, the governor has waived entrance fees to our parks starting yesterday. We did a 3 mile loop and were by ourselves for the majority of the walk. Most of the people we did encounter were towards the trail head by a small damn. I saw what I believe was a group of three families all hanging out together, and as we were eating lunch in the car after our hike two vans pulled up opposite us and two moms with kids and dogs go out and joined together into one group. I sincerely hope that in both instances these were families that have circled their wagons and are only socializing with these other families. Maybe they are sisters and they have decided the two (or three) families are safe, because they are only mingling with each other. I hope so.

My middle son is waiting to hear if his instructor tested positive. I'm so angry at his college for having them come in for instruction about online classes rather than communicating it to them via email. Ass backwards.

My youngest son works in a large factory as the Environmental Health and Safety person. Because they manufacture mining equipment, they are considered essential, because the things mined can be used in medical equipment. Adding into the risk is the fact that his friends rent rooms from him, so more people going out into the world and coming back to the house.

My daughter is the most reclusive, but her boyfriend's father's girlfriend works in a turkey processing plant and I'm not sure what her practices are for coming back into the house - like shoes, clothing, washing, etc.

This virus is shifting my view of what's a threat and what isn't. Life with a new lens that's for sure.

I wonder how big my granddaughter will be when next I get to see her. :confused:
 

Petunia

Member
I meant to mention the artists and the gifts they have given to humanity. Last night my Facebook feed was one contribution after the other, like every other post was some kind of contribution from an artist. They are giving and giving and contributing so much to keeping the world connected.
 

Petunia

Member

Petunia

Member
My plan has been to order groceries from our two main sources, Woodman's and Costco. However, when I brought the Woodman's online shopping site up to show B how easy it is, I discovered that there was not a single open slot for either delivery or pickup for the next 13 days, which is as far out as it allows you to sign up. And when it came to Costco, I thought they had an online order system for groceries and such, because Bond had something delivered once, but it was via a 3rd party and he is not forthcoming with information when I tried to learn more. Evidently he has forgotten what he used and for some reason was not into problem solving at the moment. A friend on Facebook mentioned Hy-Vee, so I logged onto their site and was able to order groceries and we'll be able to pick them up on Friday.

Saturday night and Sunday I started hitting a panic point on not having masks. The more I have been reading, the less sense it makes that we are not being to told to wear them. We can learn how to wear them properly, for fucks sake. This virus is airborne. Check out Michael Osterholm's messages if you want to learn more: Michael Osterholm

Not wearing masks to protect against coronavirus is a ‘big mistake,’ top Chinese scientist says
 

Petunia

Member
Thoughts that chill; what if I never see the people I care about again. What if one of my kids gets sick and dies and I never get to see them. What if I get sick and die and I haven't gotten my affairs in order. I need to double check my beneficiaries.
 

Petunia

Member
I am trying to get my affairs in order. I am updating my beneficiary designations and right now I'm waiting on my grandson's stepmother to supply his SSN. I need to take another look at my death/burial preferences, because what I have laid out likely won't work during a pandemic. That form will need to be notarized. We have a friend who is a notary, so I'll be able to ask her to do that and we'll figure out a safe way to do so.

Twitch called yesterday afternoon to discuss the house we own together. We're considering refinancing it. Prior to the pandemic and the inevitable recession we're about to dive into, the plan was for our renters to purchase the property in August. I'm pretty certain that won't be happening. Presently, the wife is not working (waitress), but the husband is (home construction and remodeling), and I wonder how long he'll be working. We only owe $67,000 on the mortgage. If we could refinance for that amount with a long enough term to lower the payments + escrow, then we'd be better situated if they are unable to make their rent payment.

I need to ask Bond to explain his finances to me. I know I'm on his life insurance along with his wife, but I don't know what the figures are, how much is owed on the house, who gets this house, etc. I also need to know what to do in the event of his death regarding accounts, etc. I assume his wife will legally be in charge of financial things, but she's not strong in these areas and I may be asked to help. Plus, I need to have an understanding of what to expect. And then there are his social media accounts to shut down. I hope it never comes to this, but it could and right now I have no clue what to do. There is also the boys to consider. Some time back we discussed that situation, but it seemed highly unlikely that both Bond and his wife would die, but now in light of a deadly pandemic it's a possibility. It seems surreal.

I don't even know what to do regarding B.
 
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Vicki82

Member
All of the death stuff just seems so surreal. I have been feeling the same way. I don't even know what would happen if Henry and I both got sick- who would watch Kiddo? Let alone if we died. With the border being closed, he couldn't go with my ex husband anyway, who doesn't even want him.

It really is terrifying to have to do all this stuff. I hope you get everything all planned out but never need to look at it.
 

Petunia

Member
All of the death stuff just seems so surreal. I have been feeling the same way. I don't even know what would happen if Henry and I both got sick- who would watch Kiddo? Let alone if we died. With the border being closed, he couldn't go with my ex husband anyway, who doesn't even want him.

It really is terrifying to have to do all this stuff. I hope you get everything all planned out but never need to look at it.

Oh, my goodness, Vicki, that's hard. I'm lucky that my kids are grown. My heart is with you. Hopefully our worst fears won't be realized.
 

Petunia

Member
I'm cleaning up files on my work computer. These things never should have been on it in the first place, but I'm guessing I wrote these things at work during the darkest days with Twitch, right around the time he told me he wasn't up to working on our relationship. I'm copying them here, so I can delete them from my work computer, and so I can remember how deep this pain went.

Exception

Your exception. Definitely not the rule.

I fell in love with you.
It was kind of amazing to do so after years of being with you.
Never feeling like we were a good fit for all those years.
But we were redefining things. Creating a new relationship.
And venturing into new territory.

Hours of discussion in the wee hours.
Amazing me with how understanding you were about what it would mean if you told her yes, you'd be there.
Feeling connected as we discussed the possibilities.
Discussing the elephant in the room; planning an exit strategy if it came to that.
This was your exception, but I didn't recognize it for what it was.

My heart and soul rejoiced.
I felt like I'd found a gem right there on the other side of the bed.
A partner that I could fully embrace.
One who would surely have my back through thick and thin.
If you could be so compassionate and full of understanding for someone new in your life, then certainly you could and would do the same with me, the woman you were marrying in a few short months.

You'd think I'd have recognized that even amidst change and rebuilding that this was not your modus operandi.
Instead your rule:
Minimize risk.
Venture nothing.
Avoid.
Internalize.
Juvenile reasoning.
These are your methods.

I was the fool and now I am mourning.
I miss the man I thought you were becoming.
A man I caught a glimpse of.
That vanished as the months wore on.​

************************************

Crumbs

Climbing into bed without you.
It's hard to get myself to go to bed alone.
You'd think I'd be eager to fall asleep to get past the loneliness,
but instead I just postpone that moment of falling asleep without you there beside me.

I send you a text in the morning.
So many emotions, but I hold those back and just tell you I'm proud of you, I am;
I hope your presentation goes well.
And then I include some practical stuff...what should I take out for dinner? What time will you be home?

Your reply is to the point. Four o'clock. Chicken.
My heart aches for what wasn't there.
No good morning. No smiley face. No hugs and kisses. Something that indicates something positive from you to me. These days I'll take any small crumb.
As much as I try to keep my expectations low I find I have failed and I push down the hurt.

Messages with heart aren't sent to me from you these days.
As I was so coarsely told by a stranger, I'm the shitty part of your life. She is the good.​

*******************************************

Tithing

I'm better than that

For a time my broken heart would have accepted your love in whatever quantity you had to offer.
But no longer.
Given time to consider,
Time to ponder and reflect,
Here is my truth; I am not that kind of girl.
I want more. I deserve more.

In return I'll give more.
Like tithing, let me be your god.
Give me your love, your adoration.
Your closeted thoughts, your tender moments,
Your joy, your humor, Your heartbreak, your sorrow.
I'll hear your words, I'll feel your emotions.
And I'll give you a safe place for those times when you need a place to land.​
 

Petunia

Member
I'm tired and my head hurts. It's not unusual for me to have a headache, as I typically have one, but this one is especially persistent and due to lack of sleep. It rests over my left eye and radiates back, wrapping most of the left side of my head, from my left eye it branches over to my right eye. It's a beautiful day outside and I am saddled with a headache and a heavy heart. Today is our Spring Primary in Wisconsin. Our governor tried a last ditch effort to move it to June, but the GOP controlled Supreme Court ruled against it and the US Supreme Court ruled that all absentee ballots have to be postmarked by today, moving that date up from April 13th to the 7th (today). All of this happened yesterday. The magnitude of this is overwhelming. In Milwaukee, Wisconsin's largest city, and our epicenter of COVID-19 outbreaks and deaths, they are down to 5 polling places, compared to their normal 188.

If you want to learn more about it, here are some good sources: https://www.facebook.com/heathercoxrichardson/posts/2231949713615749

Ginsburg Blasts Conservative Justices Who Blocked Wisconsin’s Absentee Voting Extension

I'm going to post this from Pantsuit Nation, because it's a private Facebook group (that many of you probably belong to).

Voting in Wisconsin today.

Never forget, keep fighting.

Dustin Klein
5 hrs
I’m never going to forget today.

Going to vote was scary. I didn’t get my ballot in the mail even though my request to vote absentee was processed and the government website said it was in the mail weeks ago.

There was a medical station outside South Division high school. The doors were propped open so nobody would touch it. A person wearing full gown and a surgical facemask greeted you and before anything else asked you if you were feeling sick. Then pumped hand sanitizer on your hands.

The people coming to vote all around me we wearing various shapes and colors of homemade masks.

As you walked through, a man greeted you holding a tablet asking your address and pointing you to the right door to walk through if you were or weren’t registered. After that you met another person dressed for the apocalypse to guide you to the next open booth where you were told to stand on a green X and await instructions.

The poll worker asked me to present my ID and I held it up. I verified my address, and answered in the negative when asked if I had returned my absentee ballot. I didn’t know if I should make an emphatic quip about not receiving it in the first place; I just held my tongue and opened my mouth as little as possible throughout the whole process.

I signed in the box with the new pen out of a box the poll worker told me was mine to keep. That felt strangely relieving. When I was handing my ballot and turned to the right I approached the door where other poll workers, watchers, and various staff reshuffled from other government agencies waited to direct me to the next available booth after it had been vacated and cleaned with sanitizing wipes.

I remember passing a man that was in the wrong place to vote and being told where he should go. I had to get closer than I wanted to get around him; he wasn’t wearing a mask, didn’t speak much English, and a sense of anxiety and dread just filled my throat as I had to remind myself of my humanity.

I stopped in the doorway and waited for a booth. The worker told me to go to one, but that took too long to clean, so I got directed to another.

I’ve worked in politics before and over confidently fill out my ballot probably faster than I should because of comfort. There lots on it, and all of them important.

After a quick once over to make sure I didn’t miss anything, I left the booth with my new pen in hand and begin to head toward the balloting machines but am beckoned over by another gown and mask wearing man around my age. He takes my ballot from my hands and points me to the correct machine for my ward: 296.

This is normally where I begin to feel really good on any other voting day. I would normally let my ballot slip through my fingers into the machine and excitedly take my “I voted sticker,” then proudly display it on my shirt and eventually stick it on my laptop with the tens of others from past elections.

Today there were no stickers. Just another person there to tell you where the exit was.

I walked down the hallway, separated from the entrance traffic by crowd control barricades, and waited for my wife. I watched the planned chaos as people looked around, nervous, scared, shuffling their masks, as poll workers stoically kept doing what they were there to do, even if they looked more like ICU staff than election workers.

A man came up to me not wearing a mask, and asked if I had seen stickers, I said no.

I finally saw my wife coming toward me and I started to get the urge to cry. We sanitized our hands as we left, without touching door handles.

I can’t remember if we said anything to each other when we walked to our car. I just remember silence, the lump in my throat, and the anger I felt that I had to do this today of all days as the courts and legislature ruled this was the only option.

Today wasn’t like normal days. It was scary. It was horrifying. It was sad.

I’ll never forget today.​

Cry for democracy today, folks.

Today is date night and for the first time since we've started Safer at Home we're doing takeout with curbside pickup. I hope it still tastes good warmed up.
 

Petunia

Member
I received this email today and in it they ask that I share it with others who identify as consensually non-monogamous and would be willing to participate, so I'm posting it here. (Bond and I previously participated in a year-long survey and I indicated I'd do other studies.)

Hello,

I hope that you are healthy and well during this difficult time.

After participating in a previous study examining polyamorous relationships, you indicated that you would be interested in being contacted regarding participating in future research. My colleagues Rich Slatcher (University of Georgia) and Giulia Zoppolat (Vrije University Amsterdam) and I are launching a large international research project on the effects of the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic on people's relationships, health, and well-being and we are seeking people who are consensually non-monogamous to participate. I hope that you will consider participating in this important study. It would also be tremendously appreciated if you could forward this on to others who might be willing to participate.

This study involves an initial survey that takes about 20-30 minutes. After you complete the initial survey, you will be invited to complete follow-up surveys every two weeks for the duration of the pandemic (around 15-20 minutes).

You can learn more or participate through our website. Under the 'participate' tab, there is a version of the survey for people who identify as non-monogamous or are in a CNM relationship (look for the poly flag). You can also access the survey directly.

Thanks in advance for your support and please let me know if you have any questions.

Best,
Rhonda

--
Rhonda Balzarini, PhD
Postdoctoral Fellow
Department of Psychology
York University​
 

Petunia

Member
Yesterday, and if I'm being honest also the preceding two or three days, I felt like I could cry at the drop of a hat. I didn't, but I did kind of wish I were the type that could have a good cry and then feel better. Today I am feeling much better, but Bond and B are both feeling stressed and down today. It's damn cold here, so it's not very pleasant going for walks, which helps with stress.

I think I'm feeling better, because our election results came in last night and the very important state supreme court seat went to a liberal.

Today I'm pushing off the stress of the news and everyone's rush to get the country opened back up again.

I'm hoping that tomorrow the COVID relief money appears magically in my bank account, simply because it'll be fun to see my credit card balance drop. I covered the mortgage payment, because my renter's employer switched them over to monthly payroll, which means when they pay their rent I'll be able to wipe out another credit card that I've been paying down. I should FINALLY have all of my credit card debt paid off by the end of May. Next up will be paying as much as possible on my parent plus student loans. I received a notice that I won't have to make payments for seven months, and that no interest will accrue during that time period. I should be able to pay off ~$10K by the end of October. I should update my spreadsheet to see how much I can actually pay down, because that's just a loose estimate.
 

Petunia

Member
I updated my spreadsheet, and if I'm diligent like a mo-fo I will have my student loans paid off by mid-December. Looking forward to other goals I may take on is paying off my daughter's child support that is in arrears. I could have that amount saved and pay it off in a year (saving towards this from December 2020 to April 2021.)

Having things paid off will give me the freedom to quit my job if I find I cannot tolerate it another day. I suspect that once I reach that stage that I'll keep the job and put money into savings for retirement. All I know if that I don't want to work for another 10 years.

It's been really cold here this week and I haven't taken a walk outside in days. Yesterday I walked on the treadmill during my lunch break. At least it's not as cold as up north where my family lives. They got snow, a lot of snow. My mother posted a video of my dad shoveling off their deck and it looks like 8" of snow. Two years ago we were visiting them and got caught in a hell of a snow storm and thought that was so odd and late for the season. Climate change is really changing weather patterns and making it difficult for forecasters to make predictions.

Relationship stuff is going okay. Bond is feeling the stress of the pandemic he says, but it's hard to pick it up from his behavior. B is needing more introvert-time.

Today Bond is making a Costco run. It's been weeks since he's done that. We've mostly been ordering groceries online, but Costco doesn't have that option and other shopping services are booked out quite far. He'll take precautions and we'll take additional ones when we bring things into the house.
 

Petunia

Member
I was wrong about the interest not accruing on the student loans. I'm going to be paying that down rapidly, so I'm not too worried about it, but it is disappointing that they didn't pause that, too.

Last night I got into a back-and-forth with a guy. My stylist posted a change.org petition for stylist to be allowed to cut one person's hair per day. I posted that it wasn't safe and he decided to tell me all of the ways I was wrong. Holy fuck balls, people really don't want to listen to scientists and epidemiologists. The startling thing is he's a pharmacist with lots of science training. His wife has a massage business, though, so I believe he was monetarily motivated to believe this pandemic is not any scarier than the basic flu and that "the media" has overblown it.

My mother was hospitalized last night for chest pain. She had an EKG last night and will have more tests this afternoon. The EKG showed some improvement in some areas compared to the last one she had, but some damage in others. I talked to her today and she seems good. I'll be glad when the other test results come in. I wish she wasn't in the hospital, but I'm comforted to know that there have been very few cases of COVID in their area, so hopefully she won't be exposed while there.
 

JaneQSmythe

Active member
... My stylist posted a change.org petition for stylist to be allowed to cut one person's hair per day. I posted that it wasn't safe and he decided to tell me all of the ways I was wrong. Holy fuck balls, people really don't want to listen to scientists and epidemiologists...

Right?!?

The hospital system that I work for announced that they are going to offer "in-house" haircuts to employees. You must bring (and wear) your own mask/face covering. Now, to be fair they have been trying to help employees out in a number of ways (more in my blog) - but I really don't think that this is a good idea - any unnecessary exposure is really, well, unnecessary! I really have trouble with the idea that a haircut is "essential" (perhaps because I have long hair that I just put up in a ponytail/braid/messy bun - I may be biased.:rolleyes:)


My mother was hospitalized last night for chest pain. She had an EKG last night and will have more tests this afternoon. The EKG showed some improvement in some areas compared to the last one she had, but some damage in others. I talked to her today and she seems good. I'll be glad when the other test results come in. I wish she wasn't in the hospital, but I'm comforted to know that there have been very few cases of COVID in their area, so hopefully she won't be exposed while there.

I am sorry that your mom had to be hospitalized at all, let alone during a pandemic. I am sure that her hospital is following all of the precautions (we have a separate ER bay, elevators, medical floor, and ICU wing for potential COVID-19 patients) - but these are stressful times.
 

Petunia

Member
Thanks, JaneQSmythe. So many baffling things right now.

My mother is back home and she will see her cardiologist either this week or next. They suspect it was due to her blood pressure going low and then high.

I raked our lawn this weekend and hauled all of the piles into the edge of the woods behind the house. I didn't do the upper terrace, as it's wooded, but open and we don't usually mow that area but once or twice a year and really it would be better to do it with a weed whacker as there are rocks.

On Sunday B came over and we went for a walk at Sanatorium Hill and walked through the old graveyard there. It had been a tuberculosis hospital at one point in time. Now it houses some offices of the Department of Health Services. The grounds were pretty much empty when we arrived. As we were heading back to the car we could see some small groups of two out and about. Bond veered off to explore things around the buildings as B and I returned to the car. As we approached I heard some say my name. Turned out to be a couple that we know from Polycocktails. I guess they live nearby. I have no respect for one of the two, but she has no idea of my contempt. So, we had a polite conversation for about 5 minutes. They told us to let them know ahead of time if we come over there to hike again. Um, yeah, that's probably not going to happen.

When we got back B went home and I got busy finishing the raking and leaf removal. I expected Bond would help, as it was a huge project and I had already made huge piles of leaves the day before and got a nice blister to show for it. (He and S2 put up our new mailbox while I did that.) But no, he went in the house and played on his phone and took a nap. I knew that he'd say he had no idea I expected him to help and that I should have said something, but come on! How can someone be so obtuse? I always help him with projects, especially something that labor intensive and time consuming. I was so hurt that he didn't volunteer. I listened to an audio book and fumed as I worked. When I got to the corner of our yard by the neighbors house, our neighbors were out on their deck. They started chatting with me, so I had to stop my story. It was a nice chat and after a while Bond came out and joined in the chit chat. And I had to be nice to him. Grrr. I have zero ability to stay mad and now I was being robbed of my indignation. LOL. Let me be mad!. I did tell him that I was unhappy that he hadn't helped me and why, and like I predicted he played the "I didn't know" and "you didn't say" cards.

He helped with the last bit and then we put things away and went inside about the same time that B arrived to collect her son. After she left Bond asked me what we were going to cook for dinner, and I told him I wasn't cooking. He got offended and in a huffy voice told me that then he'd cook hamburgers. I was so put off by him adopting an attitude at me when he had left me to work for 3 hours without helping that I got up and left the kitchen and went to our bedroom to steam for a bit. But that's silly, and I know it, so I returned to the kitchen and wilted some spinach to go with the cheeseburgers (no bun, so the spinach makes a nice base.)

I'm facing the fact that I need to grow a garden. I am thinking of smart pots/cloth bags instead of raised beds. We will likely need to put up some sort of fencing to keep the critters out, but the bags are more portable, and if we have the back patio dug out to fix the leakage into the corner of the basement, then we'll be able to move the garden out of the way of machinery.
 
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