Smelling the flowers

My mother called last night. My BIL's nephew died in a plane crash. His nephew's parents were with us in the Dells in December and they talked about their him, his wife, and baby. All three were in the homebuilt experimental aircraft he was piloting. Strong crosswinds caused them to crash into a parked SUV with a trailer parked alongside the runway. The debris is barely recognizable as a plane. The wife is in critical condition. She was in surgery much of last night and the baby broke both legs.

My sister and BIL are in Mexico on vacation right now, and as of last night they weren't sure if they were coming right back or continuing on. They just left and they're supposed to be gone for 6 weeks. My sister said that she thinks her sister and brother-in-law were there at the airport when the crash happened and probably saw it happen. She said that they always went with them to the airport. I can't even imagine how awful that had to have been for them.
 
This morning we visited our granite, delivered the induction cooktop, and approved the templating for the islands. The granite shop will email us the computer images of the templating for the perimeter. That granite has very little movement in it, so we don't feel we need to be there in person. Next Wednesday the countertops go in. I am so excited!
 
I gave the green light on the templating for the perimeter granite this morning. We're slated for install in two days. Cannot wait!

Saturday morning I decided to take S3 for new shoes. He has very wide feet and neither Bond nor his mother buy him wide shoes. I don't understand this. I know that I can't wear shoes that pinch even the slightest bit, so it baffles me how they expect him to tolerate ill fitting shoes. Anyway, Bond ended up going with us, and paying, and then we swung by the grocery store for the order I had placed the day before.

S3 loves his new shoes. Because they are wide shoes we were able to go down a full size from the shoes he was wearing. His parents were trying to compensate by buying him shoes that were larger than he needed just to fit the width. I think that's crazy pants. Simply buy the correct shoe and you don't have to play silly games to get the foot into a shoe that isn't wide enough. The real issue is that both Bond and his wife are frugal and they buy shoes at Payless where they do not carry wide shoes in kids sizes.

Sunday afternoon Bond got a text from his wife asking him to take S3 for athletic shoes, because he's been complaining about his shoes not fitting. Bond was able to say that he had already done it the day before which was kind of cool. I think he felt great about it and I know that I felt rather smug, because it was my idea.

Saturday evening we took the fixings for burritos over to B's because the boys were requesting a Family Fun Day which is a term B has coined for family get togethers. Usually they are a Sunday thing, but Sundays never work well for us, because Bond has Beatdown (BJJ) from 2 to 4 pm. It worked for a while after he broke his toe, but he started back into practice last week, so now our schedules need to accommodate that. B had a friend hanging out, but he was cool with us crashing their time. Just as Bond was setting things up via Messenger chat with B and suggesting that we have burritos I came across a recipe for Cafe Rio Chicken made in the Instant Pot. Talk about timing! OMG, it was so good and so easy. I spent Saturday afternoon prepping food while Bond took the boys to friends' to play their new VM games.

B's friend was interesting and we had engaging conversation between him, Bond, and me. It was mostly political talk, so B didn't participate much as it's not her arena. Both Bond and I received friend requests the next morning from him. :) He has a live-in girlfriend and I'm not sure what their relationship structure is. Bond was curious afterwards as to whether or not B and he have a thing going. She tends to not speak of her crushes until after the fact or abruptly before she is intimate with someone which we find jarring. I think they're platonic friends, because I remember meeting him, his gf, and a friend (?) of theirs a couple of years ago at B's. He's incredibly good looking with broad, square shoulders and is 6'3" tall. It's not hard to envision him as a model, he's that good looking.

I had a follow-up doctor appointment on Thursday for my sciatica issues. I'm such a dolt sometimes. I told them that the exercises were working, which they are right in the moment, but overall I'm no better than I was when I first went in for the problem. I'm sleeping poorly due to pain. I am reconsidering the shots they offered. I hate to do that, because it's a temporary fix, but I am sleep deprived and that gets old in a hurry. Sigh.

Tonight is Polycocktails, but I think we're going to skip it. It's just not as much fun since B and her hubby split. I just can't tolerate him very well since then, and Bea won't be there now that she lives over an hour away. It would be an opportunity to see some of our other friends, so maybe we'll end up going.

We're getting excited about our upcoming party. Our current party-related dilemma is whether to invite the kitchen industry people to this party, or if we should host an open house and invite them to that. Bond would like to invite the neighbors to the big party, so we may just invite everyone to the one party. I slipped away Saturday afternoon while the chicken was cooking and did some shopping at Home Goods. I got an adorable cloche with a wood base, a wood lazy susan with a live edge, two white serving platters, and one white serving bowl, and a small live edge cutting board. I have put off buying these things for several months and when Bond and I were there last week I realized that they were almost sold out of the live edge cutting boards. I kicked myself for putting off purchasing one all week, so this weekend I snagged one. It's smaller than I had wanted, but that's what I get for procrastinating. I really hate spending money when I'm with Bond. I feel guilty and talk myself out of buying whatever it is when he's with. Sometimes I regret it, sometimes I don't, but this time it was full on regret.
 
Stressful kitchen day. Bond has had to take the brunt of it. He's been relaying everything to me via Messenger. We started the day with sending our GC an email letting him know that we were concerned about the electrical not being installed in the islands and about the venting being directly connected to a grill under the sink cabinet before the granite goes in tomorrow. He assures us that the vent will be installed, but likely after the granite goes in, so evidently they don't feel they need to pull the cabinet for ease of installation.

Bond was home at lunch, and I think he may still be there dealing with shit. First pic he sent me was of the wood molding for the baseboards and door trim. They can't make it match what we have in the rest of the house, because that wood is no longer available. I didn't think the stain/wood of the sample he sent me was that bad, but he says it looks "weird." I guess in person it's not that hot.

From there he started sending me install problems with the plugmold. The junction box on the strip is 1 5/8" deep. The overhang of the granite will be 1 1/2". Dumb fucks. If they had installed it last week like he asked, then we could have had the granite cute 1/4" longer to accommodate them on both ends. After a lot of back and forth the electrician "thinks" he can wire directly into the plugmold without the junction boxes. I'm glad it's Bond there dealing with them, because I'd probably have used words like dumbass and fuck. He's so patient.

The good/exciting news is that the tiler will be putting the backsplash up on Thursday and grouting on Friday. Bond reached our salesperson and the appliance site visit/walk-through is scheduled for Thursday. I hope the install can be scheduled right on its heels. I'll be over the moon if we are finished with the kitchen before we go to Colorado!

I'm tempted to skip work tomorrow so I can be onsite for the granite install. I'd like to be there for the faucet placements. I may need to be around also on Thursday to discuss things with the tiler. The GC is hoping one of us can be there. I could head to work after he gets started, I think.
 
I don't have much time, but I just had to share a couple pics of the granite install this morning.

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My life is all about the kitchen these days.

Bond took this picture yesterday morning. Today it is being grouted with white grout.

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The plumber got to the house this morning before I left for work, which was nice, because I was able to walk him through placement of the various sink things. Today he'll be installing the faucets, soap dispensers, air switch, garbage disposal, water line for the refrigerator, and the pot filler. It's going to be exciting to see it all in place tonight when I get home from work.

We will be kid-free Saturday and Sunday. Their maternal grandparents are visiting from out of state, so they'll be with their mother. This is such a rare occurrence in our lives. I've felt so much guilt over being upset the last time that Bond was going to see Bea on a day when we were kid-free that I suggested he take advantage of being free of parenting responsibilities this weekend and see her. So, tomorrow morning he's taking S1 and S2 (tonight he's chaperoning S2's school ski night, so he'll spend the night at our house) to their mother's, and then we're buying paint and painting stuff, and maybe going to see ice castles, and then in the evening he'll head over to her city and spend the night and return the next day.

The whole paint thing is kind of funny. I thought he would go see Bea during the day Saturday, and at one point he said that maybe he and I should go see her together, so I wasn't prepared for him spending the night there. When he mentioned sleeping over, I said that I'd be sad. At the time he said he was going earlier in the day and staying over. So like basically all of Saturday and returning on Sunday sometime before Beatdown. And yes, as shitty as it makes me feel to admit it, that would make me sad.

We didn't get into a deep conversation about it.

We kind of let the conversation drop until the next day when he sent me a message:

so, you've encouraged me to reach out to visit Bea, ❤, but then said you'd be sad if I stayed the night. should i find a day trip only option? i don't want you to be sad, give me your thoughts.​

(isn't he just the best?)

I would be sad, but I'd survive. :) I don't know what to tell you. It's always an emotional tangle when it comes to her. But being sad isn't about you being with her, it's about not being with you. You said that you were thinking we'd both go over possibly, so I kind of relaxed and haven't put much thought into any of it since. Thinking about it now...An evening thing with staying over would probably work really well. I can see if Michelle wants to go to the movies or I'll go solo. I don't mind doing that. It can be fun to have outings like that. Buy me a couple of gallons of paint and I'll barely notice you're gone. LOL​

lol, paint. :)​

Seriously, re paint. 😜​

I'm so fucking stoked about getting to finally paint! Yippee! I thought I'd have to wait for him to paint the ceilings first, but he said last week that the ceilings do not have to be done first, so I'm doing it. I wake up in the night thinking about painting. I need to paint.
 
And the painting obsession is related to the kitchen. It's all intertwined. We are hosting a big-ass party on the 11th, a combination Valentine's and Kitchen Reveal party. We're calling it "How Sweet It Is!"

We've hosted other parties together and I tend to go off the deep end each time with making too many foods, wanting the house to be perfect, yadda, yadda, yadda. But this time I'm feeling extra pressure, because this time people are specifically coming to judge our house and our style. Quite frankly, I'm not a fan of our style. I'm still at that stage of slowly making my mark on the house while attempting to not toss all of his shit. Sigh. The crazy thing is that the paint color is barely a color and won't be much of a change from what is on the walls now. But the house has not been painted in years. We actually think it's the original paint from when it was built. It's worn in places, and overall looks like it's not been painted since 1998.

And because the walls will be fresh I want to buy a new rug for the living room.

If you give a mouse a cookie...

So I've added to my party perfectionism from a clean house and food focus to include decorating. Sometimes I hate myself. Let's not forget having to move all the kitchen stuff back into the kitchen and dismantling the temporary kitchen and setting the sunroom up as a living space to hang out in.

Did I mention that we're having a party for the tradespeople before we have the big-ass party? That one is titled, "We did a Thing and You Helped." Yep, that's right, on the 4th of February we're having a cocktail and appetizer party for everyone that has been involved in the kitchen remodel. Mostly this party is for Carole, our appliance saleslady. Carole has spent months slipping little comments about us inviting her over to see the new kitchen when it's done into conversation and well, we certainly don't want to let Carole down, because she's the sweetest person ever.

The thing with having parties for kitchen reveals is that it would be sacrilegious to not make homemade everything. An added level of pressure is that it all better be the bomb, because well now we have all these fancy smanchy appliances.

I'm still working on menus for both parties. I'm trying to pare things down. Attempting to select recipes that aren't too complicated or too time consuming, but have a lot of yum and/or wow. Here's an example of why things go off the rails when I start planning party food, for the How Sweet It Is party I want to make six 6-7" cheesecakes. I may also make a Russian rum cake. I'd like to break bars of dark chocolate in various flavors into chunks for nibbling. I want to make rosemary sweet potato stackers, creamy potato stacks, spinach balls, chicken and broccoli alfredo, penne alla vodka with sausage, and about 10-20 pounds of honey sriracha wings. I want to create a cheese and charcuterie spread with five cheeses, chorizo, dried cherries, apricots, figs, grapes, honey, and bruschetta. I saw a really attractive crudite spread where they lined a large flat basket/tray with wet paper towels and filled it with fresh veggies like green beans standing up in a hollowed out red pepper, radishes, colored carrots, red, orange, and yellow peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes, celery, cucumbers, peas in a pod, and zucchini and yellow squash. Tucked into each end of the tray were bowls of dip. It was beautiful! I want to do that. I'm trying to judge if I can do all these things and what it would take for assistance. If I'm really organized with everything from the shopping on down I may be able to do it. Some of the things, like the vegetables can be prepped up to two days ahead. I can blanch the ones that need to be blanched and ice bath them and then store them in damp paper towels in an air tight containers until it's time to set up the tray. The wings could be made in the morning and put into a roaster, set in the garage (cold climate) and then reheated. The casseroles could most likely be made earlier, too. Need to check into that. I think B would be happy to do the casseroles, so that may be a better idea. If I print out pictures and explain what I want things to look like that I could have a helper set up the cheese and charcuterie, same with the crudites.

The problem with planning such an extensive food spread is that I know I won't have time to supervise other areas like picking the house up and getting beverages set up, and all that stuff. Again, with detailed lists and assigning jobs to others I may be able to have everything the way I envision it. I really want to enjoy myself once the party gets underway and that thought makes me wonder if I need to make this all easier and less.
 
Time to catch up with how things went with Bond going to Bea's and other life events.

Saturday we dropped the boys off at their mom's around 1:00 pm and from there we went to the paint store for a gallon of paint and paint rollers. I have no idea why we only bought one gallon - well, actually I do. It was because Bond couldn't commit to buying a 5 gallon bucket. Guess what he bought on Monday? A 5 gallon bucket. :D

He helped me move furniture, remove picture hangers, patch walls and all that sort of stuff you have to do prior to painting. By the time things were ready to go it was close to 4:00 pm. I found him a gift bag and tissue paper for him to use for the Christmas gift he had for her and he packed a few overnight things into a backpack. As he was saying good-bye I inquired about condoms. They had never had sex, but I had a feeling they were finally both on the same page and it would be a thing. Although, I wasn't 100% certain, because he hadn't said anything to me and I thought he would before that happening. Still my feeling was that it was likely. He said he had one condom with him, because that was all he had. I told him that might end the fun early and he said well, they could always go to a drug store and buy some. I told him to hang on a minute as I went looking for some. I dug through my toy bag and found another four.

They did end up having sex and he was really relieved and happy that I had broached the subject and by my openness and matter of fact attitude he felt okay about everything.

Bea has a fantastic, wonderful couch that has a guest book. Bond signed the book which includes a number of questions like, what were you doing? and one of the answers is making out, so that's what they had to do, make out. :) After a bit, Bea suggested they go lay down where they resumed making out. At some point she stopped and said, "Can I assume that because your girlfriend encouraged you to come see me, that we have her go-ahead to have sex?"

Bond said that he was really happy he could say yes and he shared with her the condom story. So yay, me!

Meanwhile at home, I was a painting fool. :D I also loaded a lot of cupboards in the kitchen. I avoided the ones I thought the workers still had work that affected them, but other than that I moved things into them.

I stayed up late until I couldn't go anymore and still it was hard to sleep without Bond in the bed, but I wasn't sad.

I was a bit perturbed that he didn't return home until 1:30 pm Sunday. I thought he was going to go to Beatdown, which really means he is busy until 4:00 pm. As it turns out they didn't hold Beatdown, so once he was home we had some time to reconnect. And to paint.

Monday I had off of work for MLK Day and Bond decided to work for a couple of hours and then pick up more paint. We were in the middle of painting the living room when his wife brought all three kids to us, because she had had enough of them. Lovely. Grr. She drove through freezing rain, could barely walk up our driveway and turn onto the sidewalk, but the woman who won't go anywhere if you want her to, decided the kids had to come to us. She's so spoiled and so self-centered. It blows my mind. The next morning schools all over southern Wisconsin were closed due to icy roads and both Bond and his wife were shocked. I was like, really? You couldn't see that one coming? WTF.

Our house was a beehive of activity yesterday. Saturday Bond sent off emails to the GC and I sent one to our cabinet guy to get things done so that the things would be ready for the appliance install that is happening right this minute as I type this. Thankfully they got on the ball and sent crews out. From what we'd been getting back to our questions about being ready for this event we had a feeling that they were just going to connect the wiring to the new appliances, but not actually have the wiring connected to an electrical panel, thus we wouldn't be able to test the appliances before signing off and Bond wasn't having it. Plus, they are hauling away our old refrigerator today and we absolutely needed the new refrigerator running.

The electrician that has been doing most of the work at our house totally forgot that he needed to put in a sub panel. Bond was in the basement with him and his helper and he reminded him that it needed to go in and he was like, oh yeah! SMH

The carpenters put in the side window by the sliding door yesterday, too. And patched the hole in the wall on the living room side (casualty of all of the demo).

So, lots happened in the kitchen yesterday and lots more is happening today. I can't wait to get home to see everything installed. It's like Christmas.
 
Today B is stressing over a jury duty summons. She would need to report on Monday and we planned Monday as a travel day. She finally took action today and they're going to try to get her out of it, but she missed the deadline, so she may not be able to postpone serving.

Yesterday I accidentally grabbed the can of ceiling paint instead of the wall paint when I was refilling the paint tray. Zoiks! Tonight Bond and I are going to go over all the places we used it in error. It wasn't extensive, thankfully.

So tonight will be painting, playing with the new appliances, and packing. Hopefully at some point it'll also include sleeping. :)
 
Our trip to Denver went well. B was able to get out of jury duty at the last moment, so we didn't need to return until Monday. We took part in the Women's March in Denver. On the way there Bond gave me an edible and like a fool I ate it. OMG, those things are not really my friend. Marching with 100K people, taking micro steps due to being in a throng and needing to hang onto Bond because I seriously could not walk without holding onto him, did not add up to the best of times.

B's friends were nice, but...I don't know. I agree with the husband's politics, but he is the type of person with whom you can't have a dialog, because he doesn't stop talking long enough for any back and forth. He's a nice guy, but I think I'd grow weary of hanging with someone like that. The wife was also nice, but it was like she was just biding her time until we were gone. No real engagement. The thing that hasn't left my mind is how they treat his nearly 16 year old daughter. She has no bedroom door and hasn't had one for close to a year. She has an 8 PM bedtime. She was grounded while we were there, so maybe the bedtime was part of that, although she does get up at 5 am for school. She was fun and creative. She was wearing clothes she had altered and painted on and they were really awesome - like designer awesome. She plays a lot of different instruments. But they were so down on her. They said things like, "Depending on when [DD] gets pregnant..." and other derogatory remarks like it was a given the kid would get knocked up. They also don't think she'll get through college before ruining her life. This kid's dream was to be a surgeon until as she put it she started not applying herself in school. One night when we went for dinner without her (they had us lock our bedroom door before leaving her alone in the house) they explained that she is a pathological liar and "just like her mother" who is a heroin addict. I can't tell you how many times her father said "she's exactly like her mother" and there is no hope for her. That once she turns 18 he's done with her. He's sure she'll be gone and they won't hear from her until she needs money and he's going to tell her no. WTF? I told them that my oldest two kids have always been a struggle for me, but you can't give up on your kids. That if I didn't help Megan she would be on the streets or most likely dead. That as a parent I CANNOT let that happen. B pipped up and said, "But Megs isn't a pathological liar," to which I let her know that Megan lies ALL THE TIME. Obviously there have been some serious interactions where [DD] has let them down and caused them to lose their trust, but I've never seen parents totally write off a kid and predict the child's future like this. If I were the kid, I'd quit trying too. It was heartbreaking. I'm sure I am only seeing a tiny slice of what their reality has been with her, but wow. She's a polite and bright girl. Fun conversation with her. I look at her and think, wow, you have the world before you! And they look at her and see destruction because she's like her mother and her mother's life has been a waste. As if her future were set in stone. :(

My work week has been almost nonexistent. Tuesday I had a doctor's appointment, so I came into work at midday, and Wednesday we got dumped on with a lot of snow, so I took a personal day.

Our range hood was installed yesterday. Our saleslady messed up the order and its missing the rivets on the copper bands. Vent-a-hood is sending the missing rivets and we'll have to apply them. I'm going to be so upset if they aren't spaced properly or get uneven. Big expensive thing to mess up. :(
 
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Today is the one year anniversary of Wicked Professor (WP) leaving B. Monday night we're going out to celebrate her strength and growth over the past year. She'll have her kids, so we'll find a family-friendly place.

Wil is coming for the weekend tonight. He hasn't been down since November if I recall correctly. He's staying until Sunday, so it'll be a longer visit than normal. Saturday night we're having a family night pizza party at B's. B suggested we have a foursome. Um, no. Wil will be part of our lives forever and I do not want to complicate things.

Wil is a vegetarian and he likes to cook. I'm trying to figure out what to make for meals this weekend. It would be fun to make some really cool dishes, but we really need to focus on painting. I also promised S3 that I'd make wings and that doesn't work well when you're also cooking for a vegetarian.

Today I invited my boss and co-workers (2) to our big party. I was a bit nervous about inviting them as I'm never sure how well behaved B will be, but we talked about it and I think she'll be cool - nothing overtly sexual in front of the muggels, hopefully. Bond also has co-workers attending, so that helps.

Bond's wife sent me a friend request on Facebook yesterday. :eek: I accepted. It took me by surprise and it's a bit weird to have her as a FB friend. This morning Golden asked if we could be FB friends and I said yes, so he sent a request that I accepted. I hope he doesn't annoy the fuck out of me.

I'm dying for sex. Fingers crossed we have the energy tonight! :)
 
Busy weekend. Zero painting accomplished. :eek:

Saturday I got this message from my oldest best friend. We have drifted apart in the past five years, but most especially in the past 18 months after she learned about my poly lifestyle and had some judgmental comments about rearing children in poly households.

You did great! You did everything you wanted! I'm proud of you. I know our lives are different. I'm so happy for you and Bond and your great friends!! I love you. I respect you and your choices. I want our friendship back! I miss you so much!!! Our last time together makes me so sad! I'm sorry for my actions/words. Really, it was just me processing and thinking out loud. I never meant to hurt you. I was wrong. I wish I could have a redo. You are the most loyal, caring, smart, funny, loving friend I've ever had. Because we chose different family lifestyles, doesn't mean we can't be friends!! Can we please get together soon?!?!? Btw.... love your kitchen! Congrats on the grandbaby!​

She included a 2015 Facebook memory that I had tagged her in.

End of a day and end of an era. Tomorrow Twitch moves to Appleton and begins a new job. Less than a year ago this would have felt unbearable, but today I feel excited for him. I wish him success and happiness. I'm also excited about the changes coming my way. I'm moving in two weeks from the Far East to Near West. Not only is it a relocation it's also a lifestyle change - back to biking to work, gym time, and more nature. Henry Vilas Zoo and the arboretum are right there. Hopefully more time with friends. I plan on extending invitations often. It would be nice to be able to recreate the time when [BFF] was a fixture in my home. We may have too many miles between us for that, but maybe others will find it a comfortable place to hang.
So much of this is a leap of faith; a roommate off of Craigslist, the short lease, opening my life back up.
But I feel capable.
"I got this."
I feel optimistic.
"I got this."
Life is about to get really good.
You got that?​

We had a number of back and forth messages and a lot was healed. I never felt that our friendship had ended, but that it had lost its closeness. I am so happy that it seems are about to get that back. Twenty-three years of friendship has a lot of value. <3

We made homemade bread, or rather Wil made homemade bread, Saturday. Delicious! We were late leaving for B's because of the bread and finally had S1 take it out when it was done. We tore into it when we got back from B's late that night and omg, it was so good.

For lunch I made scalloped potato stackers and they were delicious, but not the big visual bang I was hoping for. I'm glad I made them ahead of the big party. I'm not sure I'm going to make them now. Although, as Wil pointed out, making them in muffin tins does give each serving that delicious browned topping which you may or may not get if you made them in a bigger casserole, because of others getting all the topping before you. Contemplating whether or not to make them for the party. Hmmm.

I think we spent 99% of our time in the kitchen this weekend. Everyone wants to be in there because it's new. Bond ordered another 4 stools, because we needed 5 and they only sell this style in 4's. He found them for a ridiculously low price, which was exciting. We figured we can add two more stools to the kitchen and not have it too crowded, so the other two will be in the basement for now.

Bond installed the garbage drawer opener and we all love it! It's kind of crazy pants to be able to bump the door (lightly) and have it open. I'm so glad I bought it.

One of my favorite things about the new kitchen is the delight the kids are experiencing over the different features. It's been a lot of fun. Beanie loves the bread drawer. She's calling it the sandwich drawer, because the peanut butter and other non-refrigerated spreads are also in there. S3 was totally wow'd by the garbage opener. They all love the beverage drawers and the fact that their plastic cups are in the drawer next to the beverage drawers. S1 loves the pot filler and how quickly the induction cooktop heats water, because he's all about the pasta. Half the adults can't get over the dishwasher beaming a display onto the floor when it's running so you know how many minutes until it's done or if it's done, etc. And everything beeps, I swear; dishwasher, freezer, refrigerator, refrigerator drawers, microwave, steam oven, convection oven - they all have something to say. Until having sensors for how long a door has been left ajar I never realized how often the kids (or Golden) left the refrigerator or freezer open.

I have a niece who is a professional photographer and she has volunteered to do a photoshoot of the new kitchen once it's all done. I'm totally jazzed about that.
 
Last night we celebrated with B on her one year of being on her own and how she has rocked it. I didn't know it was going to be a multiple friends event, so I was surprised when Donna was there. We ended up with 12 people including children. It was fun. We went to a dive bar that serves food. So old school. The kids played pinball games and then pool. The adults were all crammed into a round booth and the kids sat in a regular booth next to ours. We ordered food from a menu that hasn't changed much since the mid-60's. Kind of a hoot.

Most of the wood trim in the kitchen went in yesterday. It looks great. I'm especially happy with what he has done around the window and slider. The carpenter was at the house to finish it up this morning.

Just saw the news that DeVos' nomination cleared the Senate. WTF?! I guess that pales in the face of Trump firing the AG. Our country is in serious trouble.
 
As we walked up the steps into B's last night I spotted messages she had sent to us after we were in route. She suspected she was coming down with a cold sore on her lip, and sure enough by this morning it's a full blown cold sore. Because she suspected it was a cold sore and not just a blemish we played it safe. Neither Bond nor I have the herpes virus and we'd like to keep it that way. Our date night was really, really good despite being limited in ways we could physically connect. Our conversation was open and hit on some sensitive topics, like BDSM preferences and issues with her other relationships. At the end of the night as we were driving home I felt more love towards B and closeness than I have been feeling, so it was definitely a winning night for me.

Kitchen:

We are so close to being done with the whole remodel. The carpenters are almost done with their punch list, the electrician has a solid day of work left, and the cabinet people have about a day of work they can do next week, and then at a later date when the doors for the command center arrive they'll have a partial day reconfiguring that cabinet. It's going to be rather odd not having workers around and to have this remodel completed. Last night when I parked in the garage I was surprised to see the insulation board and other wood had been removed so I didn't have to slither to get out of my car. :D

We have a lot of work to get done in order to be ready for our party on the 11th. Currently we have 35 going, 14 maybes, and another 17 invited that haven't indicated one way or another. At this point I am going to focus on completing the painting in the entry, stairwell, and hallway, and hanging artwork. Anything beyond that will need to wait. We need to empty the sunroom of all the temp kitchen things, and get all the things that have been moved to different locations due to the remodel back into their rightful places and then we need to clean - deeply.
 
I am stressing about all of the work that needs to be done in the next week in order to be ready for our party. I think I have the menu solidified after posting on a cooking forum. I've simplified things quite a bit, but also added some things that will help round things out. I am not much of a chips person, so I hadn't thought of adding some simple chips and dips, but several people posted that they'd add them and it made me realize that there are those that would seriously miss having chips and munchies like that.

Here is the menu:

Savory

Crudites
  • fresh green beans
  • radishes
  • colored carrots
  • pepper (red, yellow, orange)
  • broccoli
  • cauliflower
  • tomatoes
  • celery
  • cucumbers
  • peas in the pod
  • zucchini and yellow squash

Served like this:
home-design.jpg

I bought this basket on Amazon. It will arrive tomorrow. It's 22.5 Inch long x 16.75 Inch wide x 3.75 Inch tall. I hope it's large enough. Last weekend I picked up two clear glass bowls at St. Vincent de Paul's for the dips.

Cheese and Charcuterie Board

I picked up a board that is 18" x 48" last week and have treated it with food grade mineral oil. We have some excellent cheese stores and a place called the Underground Butcher where I can pick up artisan sausages. I'm planning on 5 different cheeses and probably two sausage types. To round things out I'll have grapes, raspberries, black berries, blueberries, dried Michigan cherries, apricots, nuts, olives, honey, bruschetta and likely some breadsticks or straws.

Similar to this:
home-design.jpg


Sweets
This weekend I'm going to make 6-6" cheesecakes in the Instant Pot. Like this and this and this. These can be made ahead, froze, and then thawed the day before and decorated with all the yummy goodness on top.
To round things out, chocolate covered strawberries, broken dark chocolate bars, and the Black Russian bundt cake.

Muchies/Crunchies

B is going to make the sandwiches, so that lightens the load. :)

My daughter will be at the house tonight. She's going to a friend's funeral this evening. I'm not sure how long she's staying for, but if she sticks around tomorrow I hope to invoke her help with things. Hopefully she'll be game about painting. If not, then maybe she'll help with cheesecakes.

I'm sorry if this blog has taken a dive into home remodeling and cooking, but that's where my energies are directed these days.
 
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Such a busy weekend. My original plan was to make 2 cheesecakes each day this past weekend, but I only got two made and I'm not sure if they turned out. I'm a bit passed stressed.

Saturday Bond and I painted for most of the day. We didn't start until shortly before noon and it was around 5:30 when we stopped for the day. It is painstakingly slow going, because we were doing ceilings with peaks, and lots of cutting in around the trim. Golden helped for a hot minute, but he lets his roller get too dry and we have to go over everything he's done, so it's not as much help as one would hope. We still have to complete the stairway. It'll be challenging because we have an antique wardrobe in the landing that will have to be moved and the two story height will make it hard to edge.

I was really hoping we'd get back to painting yesterday, like the only way this works is to have the painting done this past weekend. But Bond wanted to go grocery shopping with me and I tell you, taking that man into a grocery store means you are at a minimum doubling the time it takes to accomplish shopping. He loves to grocery shop and he loves to compare prices and brands. Oy vey! It was close to 1 PM when we got back to the house and much to my surprise he decided to go downstairs to Beatdown at 2 PM. I was annoyed and flustered that he decided to do that. In the morning when he asked me what my plans were for the day I said the I needed to grocery shop for the cheesecakes, and somehow make two while assisting him with painting. I then asked him what his plans were and he said the same. So it was quite surprising that his day included Beatdown, because I don't recall saying I was doing Beatdown, so therefore, his plans were not the same as mine.

When he told me that he was going to go change clothes I asked him if he was changing for Beatdown or painting (he's such a neat painter that he usually doesn't change into painting clothes) and he answered Beatdown, I guess the look on my face must have been revealing, because he asked me if I didn't want him to do Beatdown. I told him that he could do whatever he wanted and if that was Beatdown, then he certainly could do Beatdown. How was I to know what he had planned in order to get the painting accomplished by Saturday? Maybe he plans on taking a day off of work. So he did Beatdown and I made lunch and then cheesecakes, and then later I made 100 turkey and spinach meatballs.

At some point in the day he came into the kitchen and hugged me and said something along the lines of how he is always amazed with my energy and how I just keep going. I told him that I am tired, but there are things to get done and I don't give myself an option - I just keep going.

That frustrates me with him, and Golden, because both lack stamina and drive to do things around the house. They are five and 10 years younger than me respectively, and I have had a spinal fusion and bone graft, and I'm held together with big ass screws. My sciatic nerve pain makes my ankle feel like it'll explode after a day on my feet, and I can work circles around these men.

When Bond returned from dropping off his spawn we laid on the bed and watched TV and he gave me a leg massage with the cannabis oil. I don't know how well that works for pain, but between the massage and the 8 Ibuprofen I took between 6 pm and midnight, I slept pretty well. And that was surprising after being on my feet for the entire day. I think I was just so tired that I slept through the pain, because I can feel my ankle throbbing since I woke up.

At the end of the day I feel grateful that Bond is a sweetheart who thinks of things like giving me a massage and I let go of my frustrations with how easily he drops out of physical labor. He has other assets and they have great value.
 
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You ever get laid low by something silly? Yesterday B posted her results for the Who is Your Valentine thing that is going around Facebook. It was Bond and she said, "That's a given:)" I don't know why I let this hurt me, but it did. She takes all these silly quizzes and I know they don't mean anything, but she did decide to post it. She could have run it and saw the results and not posted it. Bond and I both did that. I would think when you're dating three people you'd be aware that posting something that singles out one as more special than the others might be hurtful to the ones who are excluded.

Bond said that his first thought when he saw her post was that it might it hurt me. He then said that he thought it was whoever you interact the most with on FB and he sees me all the time, so... I looked over and he had his results on his phone and it was B and him. I told him that I was done talking about it, because that wasn't helping at all.

Sometimes I wish Facebook was a physical thing that I could take a marker to and scribble all over some posts. :(

It makes me want to exit my relationship with B. That's crazy and I know it.
 
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B sensed that something was off which shocked Bond and me, because we would have sworn we didn't give any signs. She's very intuitive and she knew there was a bit of a disconnect. We had a flurry of instant messages the next day and set things right. I felt bad that she was even aware that I was feeling out of sorts, because I knew I was being silly over it. Sigh.

We had our big party last Saturday, hosted by the three of us (Bond, B, and me). It was a big success and lots of fun, but also incredibly exhausting and stressful getting everything done in time. I took Friday off of work to cook. I started the night before with a few things and cooked the entirety of Friday. I had hoped to have a window of time Saturday afternoon/evening to relax and gather myself before the party started, but that never materialized. I estimate that we had around 50 people at the party, including kids. Everyone loved the kitchen, and nearly everyone hung out in the kitchen. The noise level was so high that neither Bond nor myself could bear to spend much time in there. There were those who spread out to the dining room table and others camped out on the couches in the living room, a few sat in the sunroom, and we had a group that took over the front room to play Cards Against Humanity.

The microwave drawer, trash cabinet opener, the refrigerator drawers, and the dishwasher Infolight that shines onto the floor were people's favorites. I think my favorite thing in the kitchen is the bar. That was finished Friday afternoon and I love it so much. Bond arranged the liquor bottles so that the puck lights shine through all the way down.

I've been having issues with my sciatic nerve in my right leg and things have escalated since all the work for the party. I'm barely sleeping these days. I see a specialist on the 10th of March. I'm expecting he'll give me a steroid shot. I've had one before and it wasn't very effective, but I have my fingers crossed that this time will be different. Something has to change.

The Westminster Dog Show happened on Tuesday of this week. It was the first time American Hairless Terriers were eligible to compete. The AHT that took Best of Breed, Kane, comes from my lines on his mother's side. His sire is out of a Lenny/Brinda daughter (owned by a friend that I showed with) and his dam is out of Ono, who is a Double Shot daughter. It's pretty cool to see that even though I'm no longer in the dog world.

I have had a cold this week, so I stayed home Wednesday and Thursday. While lounging I started dreaming about what kind of cat highways, platforms, and such we can add for the kitten we're getting. I am so excited. It's been such a long time since I've had a kitten. We're planning on putting plexiglass over the lights in the soffits in the living room and possibly connecting the front closet to that area via some connecting highways/swing bridges. I'd also like to add some things like that into the sunroom.

All the projects I'd like to do has started me thinking that I may want to learn carpentry. It would be really nice if I could create the designs I want rather than having to settle on something close-enough or pay someone to make for me. Of course, the investment in saws would probably negate any savings, but it would be a hobby and that would be a good thing to have.
 
Fun weekend. My youngest son and his girlfriend visited on Saturday. It was the first time I got to meet her. She's Thumbelina-size. :) I fully expected her to be nice, smart, and educated. That's the type of person Taylor attracts and is attracted to and she was all of that.

Bea was in Madison and she stopped by the house to visit with Bond. They all arrived close to the same time. Bond and Bea took themselves to the front room so they could visit more privately and the three of us hung out in the kitchen for a while and then I took them to the Union and then to State Street. It was a lovely day with temps in the low 60's which is unheard of for Wisconsin in February. I'm calling it Alternative February. :D

Thumbelina had never been to Madison. She thought the buildings downtown were really tall, which is funny, because if you've ever been to Madison you know that's not the case. We have a State law that limits Madison buildings being taller than the capitol building. I hope they come back some time when we can really show her the city, because one afternoon doesn't really give you enough time for a glimpse.

Bea left shortly after we took off for the Union and Bond took his two younger boys down there, but we'd already left and were ensconced in a pub on State Street drinking craft beers. They left the Union after a bit and went to Picnic Point where the boys smashed ice. We were in texting communication and I think Bond felt bad that he wasn't with us, but his kids are too young to hang at bars and mine is at the perfect age for that. We all started for home from our separate locations around the same time. I asked Bond to stop by the grocery for taco shells and he was still there when I discovered that the chicken I had planned to use for the Cafe Rio shredded chicken wasn't ideal (bone-in leg quarters) so I had him pick some up. Despite having arrived home after 6 pm and having to wait for Bond to deliver the chicken, dinner was served by 7:15. I love my Instant Pot!

That night in bed Bond was trying to remember what the date was when he spent the night at Bea's. He was surprised that a month had already passed. He said he was contemplating whether it would work to see her monthly on a regular basis. I'm not sure where he is with that. He kind of sounded like a month may be too short of a time span after realizing a month had already passed since he spent the night there. I remained silent during his musing. I feel bad, but I think I'd have a hard time with that. It'll be something I will need to work on if it comes to pass. Right now it leaves me with a feeling on anxiety. I know I'd miss him and hate sleeping alone. I don't want to share him that much. When I had my grandson one weekend a month I couldn't believe how quickly a month flew by. I won't tell him I don't want him to do it, but I'll be silently wishing he doesn't.
 
Last night my middle son started an IM conversation with me about him not wanting to be with his girlfriend/mother of his unborn child. I wasn't surprised that he couldn't stomach her any longer, but it scares me for the baby and him. The girl is so immature and unintelligent. Like seriously not smart.

Here is a post from Facebook where she is telling me why she thinks she's having a boy. NOTE: she's 11 weeks pregnant.

The fact that almost everybody in my family is that a boy first, the blood pressure problems, and the fact of how low the baby is it just gives me that feeling it's a boy. which is what me and Josh both want.​

That little lemon sized fetus is neither riding high nor low. WTF. And why does she think low blood pressure problems are related to the sex of the baby?

Post from two weeks ago:

Either the baby is farting or it's kicking but either way it sounds and feels weird and kind of hurts​

SMH, she thinks that at 9 weeks along she can feel the baby moving and/or farting. OMG.

I posted a link on the thread about the development at that number of weeks and then wrote this, "I think the little beanie is too small to cause those symptoms, but you could be feeling the placenta growing? Not sure about that, but maybe. There is a lot happening right now, that's for sure. :)"

I have been trying so hard to not be mean, but seriously this girl is not the brightest bulb.

I wasn't sure how long he could take that just going off of things he has told me in the past about the girls he had been meeting. So, I wasn't terribly shocked when he said that he couldn't take her anymore.

At the same time he was messaging me, the two of them were messaging back and forth. He was at work and she was at home. I thought it was probably the worst idea ever to be having the type of conversation they were engaged in over IM, but it seems to have worked for them. I guess they were in the middle of something when he had to leave for work, so they continued it that way. I had to drop off of the conversation when Bond and I went to a movie (Dr. Strange). When we got out I saw he had sent a screenshot of their conversation where she said that she didn't want him unhappy and that she would go to stay with friends and that they could have equal visitation/custody of the baby. I was more surprised to read that than I can relate here. I wasn't expecting her to jump from a temporary separation all the way to "this is how our future will be."

I'm relieved for him, but also worried. It's going to be a long haul raising a child when you're two individuals and not a unit. Then again, it's a long haul raising a child living in the same home with the other parent when you don't love them, too. Fuck, it's just a long haul raising a child.
 
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