Smelling the flowers

Our trip to KY went very well. My granddaughter is so adorable and so sweet. She's reached an age where she's shy, but that didn't last for more than a few minutes - and she let my son place her in my arms immediately when they arrived, despite wanting to hide in my neck. She is a cuddly child, too. She will lay her head down against you and snuggle in. She is also into kisses. Lots of kisses randomly given out; she'll be playing, stop, run up to you and give you a kiss and then resume her play. So adorbs!

Friday night we went out to eat dinner with my son and grandbaby. Saturday was rainy, but we decided to go to the Nashville Zoo anyhow. Thankfully the rain ceased for the most part while we were there and waited to downpour until we were driving back. Sunday we met my son, the baby, and his gf at a hippy dippy place by the Barren River. The place is fantastically quirky and fun. His gf seems nice. She had to leave for work around 11 am, so it was a short visit. After she left we went to the state park and walked one of the paths around the park, about 2.5 miles if I recall correctly. Afterwards we found a restaurant in Scottsville. The baby had gotten a micro-nap between the park and the restaurant, so she was totally miserable while we were eating. My son was also exhausted, as he and his gf had stayed up late into the night talking. I guess they had a real heart-to-heart, and by the time they were done he asked her to move in with him. So after dinner, he and the baby went home to nap, and Bond and I went for a drive. Bond wanted to see more of Scottsville, but he made a wrong turn and we ended up on Hwy 100 which takes you to Franklin. I suggested that we visit my brother and sister-in-law as they live near there. I didn't have my brother's address in my phone and I wanted it for the GPS, as I wasn't familiar with coming from that direction. Bond just wanted to go to Franklin and then to their place, but I had a feeling we were going to be covering a lot of extra miles if we did that.

I made a call to my brother and got him voicemail, so then I called my sister-in-law and she answered. While I was doing this Bond turned onto a side road and stopped the car. I got the address and put it into the navigation and then looked around and told Bond that this looked familiar. Once the route was ready it turned out that he had turned onto the road that leads directly to my brother's house - like it comes to a T directly across from his house. We were 4 minutes away! Pretty funny.

We had a really nice visit, including breaking into an old house, because my brother would love to remodel it - and the owner is a neighbor they interact with often, so "breaking" in, wasn't so much an actual break-in. We darn near stepped on a couple of fox kits that were in the weeds in front of the house. One crawled himself off to a corner where the porch and house meet, but the other two hunkered down and weren't going anywhere. They were really young, eyes open, but not really on their feet yet.

The house was interesting, but I think it's too far gone to actually save. It has a cool hearth/fireplace in one of the rooms.

After that we all visited some friends that I haven't seen for a while and it was nice to catch up, and then out to dinner. It was great to be able to do all of that, and it was possible, because we planned one more day than what we normally plan.

Tonight we are moving B's mother into a senior living complex. She doesn't have much for belongings, so hopefully it won't be terribly exhausting.

What I should mention is how passive-aggressive B's interactions where while we were gone. She can be such a shit. I think it's so unfair that she creates this unease whenever Bond accompanies me. It's total bullshit and kind of ruins my visits. I should address this with her. What makes it even more unfair is that she was equally invited to go with me - the invitation was sent to both of them in the same message. She was not an after thought. I understand why she didn't accept, so no pressure over it from me towards her whatsoever. But still she seemed unhappy that Bond decided to go with me and that he didn't say he was going immediately. He actually was trying to decide one way or another. As soon as he had made his decision, he let her know.
 
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The move went really well. The new apartment is cute and has a much better layout than her last place. I rearranged the living room furniture to a better layout and it looks really nice. Her mother initially wanted things in an awkward layout, but she was receptive to my suggestions and in the end I believe it'll be much easier to live with the way I arranged things. Today B is cleaning the old apartment and lamenting over how dirty it is. It was super dusty and the furniture had a layer of dust and cat hair that was pretty impressive.

We finished around 7:00 pm, maybe 7:30 pm, and regrouped at our house. B ran home first to change, Bond dropped the truck off at WP's, and I went home to change clothes, too. Once we were all together we had a cocktail and then went to eat at our favorite neighborhood bar. Lots of conversation, but Bond and I both steered clear of addressing B's passive aggressiveness this past weekend.

I started getting a cold yesterday. I'm guessing all the kisses from the grandbaby were the culprit. She had a runny nose, but my son thought she may have allergies. Guessing not. My throat is sore and I'm snotty. I have a busy workweek, so I can't really take time off... although, we're finding roadblocks and cannot progress until we get some answers back.

I wish I could lay my head down and take a nap.
 
Oh my god, y'all, I was super sick from Wednesday until Friday afternoon when suddenly my headache lifted and I felt human again. I still have symptoms, but I can function. Woot!

My youngest son came to visit for Mother's Day, arrived Saturday at 1pm, and left Sunday before noon. It was so nice to see him. Bond, S2, S1, and me went to the Avengers:Engame movie in the morning and Taylor was at the house when we got home. He took Bond and me out for lunch. It was so nice to have that time with him away from the house. After lunch we went to Costco to buy skirt steak for fajitas. Costco has it already marinated, so it's easy peasy. B wanted to make margaritas to go with dinner, and we weren't sure if we had enough tequila, so we grabbed a big-ass bottle - and then Tay set it on the checkout belt and when it moved it took a nose dive onto the cement. Bond saw it was going, but couldn't grab it in time. Whew! Talk about a mess of glass and tequila! Quite aromatic, I was told, but I couldn't smell it due to my stuffed up head. :D

Dinner was great. S3 talked Taylor into playing Blackjack with him, and they roped Bond into it, too. S3 had so much fun. He has it in his head that Taylor will play games and he loves that. The funny thing is that Taylor does not like games, but because of the games that happen whenever my family comes for Thanksgiving, S3 associates it with Taylor. And because Taylor wants to encourage him to interact with him and to be silly and such, he goes along with it. He's being the nice big (step) brother. It's really quite endearing to see the two of them together.

After Taylor left I worked in the yard. After (quite) a while Bond joined me. First he brought the cat out on a leash, but that didn't go well, so he returned without him. He worked on plugging the chipmunk and woodpecker holes and then got down to business helping me tame the jungle. Every spring we need to get the upper terrace of our lawn under control, pick up sticks and limbs that have fallen over the winter, chop off the suckers that have popped up around the trees and just some general maintenance. I pulled yellow mustard to keep it from going to seed, and nettle before it spreads more. The upper terrace is fairly wooded and shaded by the big trees and has several mounds of rocks. The wild violets are currently blooming across the entire area. It's a really cool area that has been somewhat tamed out of the forest that is behind our property line. We don't mow it as it doesn't really grow grass per say, but we do weed whack it a couple of times a season.

I tore out several of the old rose bushes from the bed in the backyard. I had hoped we could remove the rose gardens and put in pea gravel where they are for a base for chairs to set around a fireball we want to set in the circular paved area between the two flower beds, but after talking things over with Bond it seems that is at least one year off yet. He wants to replace all of the windows in the house this summer, and I have to agree that is a higher importance that beautifying the backyard.

Tonight is Polycocktails and it's a beautiful day, so I have plans of sitting on the back patio at the bar and having fun talking to my poly friends for a few hours.
 
Such a busy week with something happening every single night. This is something I don't roll well with generally, and especially so when I'm still dealing with a cold. Monday we went to PC, Tuesday was date night, last night my fellow programmer and I were invited by the head of our bureau to go to the Wisconsin Women in Government gala, tonight I have a hair appointment, and Friday my good friend, her bf, and son, and my son will all be arriving for the weekend.

Initially they were going to roll in around 9:30 pm, but her aunt died and her funeral is Friday at 11:00 am, which puts them halfway here, thus an earlier arrival. It's all good, but it cuts into my prep time. I got fresh sheets on the bed in the guest room, and Friday afternoon I'll put fresh sheets on S1 and S3's beds. Thankfully this was a cleaning week, so the house is in good shape. We need to grocery shop...oh crap, I was planning on doing that Friday evening before they arrived, but now that time slot is gone. Maybe I can get Bond to shop tonight instead. I'll have to get the grocery list completed today then.

B flies to Colorado this afternoon, and returns late Sunday night. I'm sad that she won't be here when my friend is here.

There's been some poly drama which boils down to B not expressing herself and then being passive aggressive when things don't go her way, and her feelings of being a 3rd wheel, when for the most part she's put barriers in the way and then is unhappy about them. We're planning to have a talk when she gets back from her trip. She and Bond had one on Tuesday night (I left early from her place, because of exhaustion due to the cold I still have.) Next she and I need to talk, and probably all three of us need to have a discussion.

It's so unfair to be told, "no you guys do that as a couple" when we aren't seeking to do whatever it is without her, and then later to be told how we have this couple thing going and she feels left out of things. The irony is that we rarely do anything without her. We go to Costco, but she refuses to go on the weekend, and that is when it's possible for me to go. (Bond has started running errands with her on Wednesdays when I'm at work.) When she throws out the "no, you guys do that as a couple" is usually when we've asked her to do something with us and she wants to get out of it. So, it's a convenient excuse without actually saying she's not interested, and then it's a weapon later. Fuck that.

Ironically, she's the one with the social schedule and she doesn't include the two of us. She doesn't invite us along when she goes to Green Bay, Milwaukee, or the State parks. We love that stuff, but she never extends an invitation. She has one or two nights a week that she gets together with friends and we usually are unaware that she has plans, so when we ask to do something she lets us know that she can't and why. She should have friends. It's a healthy thing, but it seems she compartmentalized us and it's rare for her to add us into the mix, unless she's having a Girls' party or a dinner party.

So, wrinkles to iron out next week in polyland.
 
Sorry if you don't want people to respond to your blog. Ignore this if that's the case.

But I was wondering if y'all have had discussions as a triad about the fact that a triad is fundamentally 4 different relationships. The relationship with all 3,and then each of you having an individual relationship with each of your 2 partners. You are allowed to do things as mjust a couple even within a triad. You and, Bond do things together, but B also gets 1 on 1 time with each of you.

I get your point that you already invite her to things Nad she turns them down, so part of her being excluded is her own choice. But I think it's also important to set the boundary and w pectation that being in a triad doesn't REQUIRE every single thing to be done as a triad. That is unreasonable.

Anyway,i hope your chat goes well and you all are able to resolve some issues!
 
breathemusic said:
Sorry if you don't want people to respond to your blog. Ignore this if that's the case.

But I was wondering if y'all have had discussions as a triad about the fact that a triad is fundamentally 4 different relationships. The relationship with all 3,and then each of you having an individual relationship with each of your 2 partners. You are allowed to do things as mjust a couple even within a triad. You and, Bond do things together, but B also gets 1 on 1 time with each of you.

I get your point that you already invite her to things Nad she turns them down, so part of her being excluded is her own choice. But I think it's also important to set the boundary and w pectation that being in a triad doesn't REQUIRE every single thing to be done as a triad. That is unreasonable.

Anyway,i hope your chat goes well and you all are able to resolve some issues!
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Hi! I didn't see this until today. I have no issue with people posting my blog. :)

I totally agree that we each have a relationship with the others outside of the triad. Yes, we have discussed this and started doing things one on one, besides as a threesome.

I mentioned the Costco thing as 'wow, exciting life stuff here.'

Some of the issue with B is that one is never sure if she's being honest. She has shown us many times that she would rather lie than state the truth, as we have witnessed her lying to others rather than telling them no. Telling someone no is super hard for her. Actually direct communication is hard for her.

Example: Almost daily Bond will ask her a question and instead of 'yes, reason..' or 'no, reason...' she will state something that I can easily infer the actual answer, but Bond is totally lost and feels he didn't get an answer.

This morning he sends her a message, "Coming for coffee time." (She just got back at 11:30 last night and we haven't seen her since last Wednesday.)

She responds, "I have to go to my mom's before my lunch with Donna."

Most of us would recognize that she's saying, "No; not enough time," but Bond can't take that leap and feel that he knows the answer via inference, so for him he feels it's like, he asks for something, and she gives him some information, and he's left to sort out the riddle. If only she would say, "Yes, ...." or "No, ..." they'd be fine communicating. She just gives him the "..." without the preceding yes/no. I spend a lot of time being an interpreter. LOL

Another behavior that repeats itself is that she will state that she wants or needs X from one of us, and so that person is like, okay, I can do this and be happy fulfilling that request/need. It feels good to have something clearly defined that you can do for a partner. But when you try to do X, she's like, stop that, you're smothering me. It's kind of like getting an emotional slap. It leaves a person feeling baffled and you try to explain yourself, like, "Oh, I was trying to do X like you requested," only to be told, "I changed my mind." It's okay for her to change her mind. We all have that right. But the rebuff is harsh and it's a constantly moving target. Sometimes I feel like we're trying to soothe a toddler.

She told Bond that the two of them never get a weekend. His initial reaction was to laugh, which wasn't good, but he explained that for starters she's never asked for one, and also that they can't even have a night (she doesn't want either of us to stay over), much less a weekend.

It's frustrating to be told things are unequal, when that very person has put up roadblocks preventing the thing they are judging you on.

We expect an imbalance when it comes to number of hours together, because two of us live together, and there are two households and children involved, and friendships, and parents, etc. Reality doesn't look like television. There is also the fact that it's human nature to perceive that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Maybe if we all lived together we could keep things more equal. But B doesn't want to live with us, and truth be told, I think it would be super hard if she did.
 
My birthday weekend was kinda epic. I'm so damn impressed that I'm not hungover. I guess the secret is day drinking. I can't believe the volume of alcohol we all consumed from Friday night to Sunday night. Holy cow. They didn't leave for home until 9 pm and it's a 4+ hour drive. Tay spent the night on our couch and then took an Uber at 3:30 am to his car in the parking ramp downtown.
 
I got just shy of 8 hours of sleep last night - and would have had 8 hours if the cat hadn't decided to start meowing at 5:15 am for breakfast. I can't believe how quickly that can help one feel human again. :D

I had a fabulous idea, and Bond and B were game, so Sunday we're going to Starved Rock State Park in Illinois for hiking and waterpark fun. We're staying at a lodge that has a waterpark, so the kids will be thrilled with the evening. :)
 
Starved Rock was fun, but super muddy. I thought we may have made a mistake in coming when we first got on the trails, but once we got in further things improved a lot. Still, by the end of the two days all of our shoes were pretty caked in mud.

I did my first craft market. I sold 4 cheap paintings - some of my earlier work that I priced to move. I got a lot of positive feedback from people, though, so that was nice.

The next market is this coming Sunday, Father's Day. I am very tempted to skip it as it's a holiday and people already seem more inclined to come to eat and listen to music and just amble through the booths window shopping. If I do skip it, then I'll forfeit my $100 deposit. :( I am also curious to see how receptive people are to the things I created in Zazzle with my abstract images. If you want to check out my store, here is the link: cherylhewittart

I'm kind of bummed that I signed up for a fair on Father's Day. I'd much rather be doing something with Bond to celebrate the day. He keeps insisting that I do it (and I haven't even mentioned the $100 forfeiture if I skip it.)

I ordered these shoes for myself, but I'm going to have to send them back as they are a bit too small. :( I'll reorder, but I wanted to be able to wear them on Sunday.

Franki and Twitch returned home yesterday from a week long trip to Mariposa, CA to visit mutual friends. Her pictures are spectacular. I'd love to see visit there some time.

Bond's ex is off to a writing convention and then a wandering solo vacation from yesterday until the 30th. She hopes to spend a lot of time writing. It has made me consider taking myself off on a journey some time down the road. Maybe next year.

S2 has a girlfriend. They started dating a couple of weeks ago. She's adorable and seems to be a good match for him. They both love video games and she's very chatty, which means lots of stimulation for S2 which he likes in part influenced by his ADHD.

Last weekend she suggested that she spend the night tonight. I'm not thrilled with my knee jerk reaction, which was, "Hell no." I surprised myself with that. I'm not opposed to teenagers having sex, so I didn't know why I had such a strong reaction. I do think it's too soon for them to be having sex as the relationship is so fresh. Heck, I don't think they were even thinking of sharing a room or having sex, but I know how I was when I was that age and things happen. After my initial reaction and time to think, I talked to S2 and apologized for my reaction and told him that I'm not opposed to teenage sex, so I wasn't happy with myself for responding like that. I told him that I thought it was too soon, but that I trusted and respected him, and that I was sure they'd make sure they had protections in place before they'd take such a big step. (Laying the groundwork.) He thanked me. So, today her mother is dropping her off and Bond is taking her home at 9 pm. My guess is that her mother was not very receptive to the idea. She did convey through S2 that she'd like to meet the parents.

Our annual kids' party is coming up soon, the 22nd. I need to start thinking about what needs to happen between now and then. Bond's company picnic is the night before. I will be getting my grandson for that and the weekend. I'm so glad he's going to be able to be part of that.

In the asking, I learned that he is the babysitter for his younger sister and brother this summer. That seems like a lot to put on a 13 year old. I'm hoping they let him join us for our camping in July. It's just two nights, but it is during the week. He has a baseball game and now this babysitting.

I've been struggling with B and Bond's Wednesdays. Actually, the thing that stirred it up had more to do with Bond saying something in a way that made me feel like an outsider. But at the root of things is my uneasiness that their relationship is eclipsing my relationship with B. It's not fair to take something away from them, because I'm worried about being left behind, so instead I've asked B for more time with her and that's the new plan. I'll be so happy when I am debt-free (by next summer) and I can cut my work hours down to part-time. Right now I feel like I don't have enough time, or energy, to go around.
 
I skipped the market on Sunday. So glad I did. I was way too fucking tired. I have slept poorly for a number of nights, and Saturday night we went drinking for a friend's birthday. Plus, it was nice to be home and do some cooking and grocery shopping with Bond, we watched some TV in the afternoon after getting groceries and finished up Chernobyl. OMG, that's a good series. If you have access to HBO I highly recommend it. We watched two movies one after we finished the last episode of Chernobyl, and then I got busy with household and garden work while Bond watched Baywatch. (Ugh) And then we watched another more movies later after I came in from outside.

I got all the damn thistles out of the rose garden, hopefully all from the yard between the patio and the rose gardens, and from the front garden and side of the house, plus I weeded the rose garden enough that adding mulch will now smother any weeds still growing in there. And that leaves things in Bond's court now. I am pushing for mulch to be delivered this week so we can get it disbursed before the party on Saturday. I certainly want it down before I have to weed those gardens again!

We had a Pella rep give us an estimate on new windows Saturday afternoon. That took 3.5 hours to get accomplished to the tune of $95,000 if we were to also replace the two patio sliding doors in the sunroom, which are the largest size they make, and the fixed glass center pane between them, and the two sidelight panes, and the front door and sidelight. Holy fuck balls! It's also a more expensive replacement because we currently have Pella windows and they are more complicated to remove. Pella also redoes all of the woodwork around the windows and we have 27 windows that we need to replace. Due to the width and height of some of the windows we need to stick to their wood line of windows. I guess our bedroom windows are the bulk of the cost as they're something like 128" wide and pretty much floor to ceiling, so something like 7' of glass between the large fixed upper pane and the lower awning style ones below. We even opted to have some of the windows in the house fixed rather than awning and it still came to that much. So, if we skip the large sliding patio doors and the front door, which came to $8,600 alone(!), we can drop the cost down to $60,000, which is about twice what we were expecting. We did stick with having interior mini-blinds in 8 of the windows, because they're bedroom, and one living room, and we need the privacy. Having cats we don't want blinds outside of the glass as those fuckers will mess them the f-up. Sticker shock. And then, after all of that I realized that we forgot to include the sliding door in the kitchen. I'm not sure what that brought things to, but that slider is a standard width, so maybe not so bad. LMFAO, as if it wasn't bad enough. Oh, and then I spotted the triangle of glass over our front door. It's the width of the entry and goes up into the peak. The sales guy said, you don't even want to know how expensive that would be. Yeah, I think we'll keep that as-is.

Wednesday we are getting an estimate for Anderson windows. We may find that we will need to piecemeal this project. If that's the case, we'll start with the master bedroom, as that is the hardest room to keep warm.

:eek:
 
I took last Thursday off and put the mulch in the beds in the yard, and power washed the patio. OMG, that's the most satisfying thing evah! It all looked great for the kids' party on Saturday.

We decided to go with the Anderson windows, as their estimate came in at $30K with 25% off between two discounts we qualified for. Work will probably happen in late September and should take 4-5 days. We cut costs by making some windows fixed rather than awnings as they are now in both the dining room and the front room. On those walls we'll still have one 40" wide double hung that will open, and in the front room, there is another double hung window that will open. Across from the dining room is the living room with two giant sliding doors that open to the sunroom with another set of giant sliding doors, so plenty of cross ventilation happening. What we learned by the Anderson windows walk-through with an experienced window salesperson is that the awning style windows won't qualify for egress exits and won't pass code as now that the windows are heavier due to more panes, the window doesn't open wide enough now. Due to this we changed the style. We also opted for one color both inside and out, and because the outside is a dark bronze (near black), we are doing that on both sides. I'm excited. It's going to look quite modern. We'll still have the same woodwork around the window, but the window itself will be bronze. We added obscure glass for the master bath window, and one lower window in S3's bedroom. Because we are putting in four fixed windows on the front of the house, we opted to upgrade the screens on the double hung window next to them to the kind of screen that you can barely see. The sales guy forgot to drop that for the other windows, so basically we're getting that all around without the up-charge.

After the first estimate I started house hunting. It seemed like too much to put into windows alone and once we add in the other projects we want to do to the house, it seemed like maybe jumping houses might be a better option. In my house hunting I found a property that in my estimation would have been a great idea. Bond and B felt that it was too far out of town, and that it would complicate life. It is a giant duplex (7,536 sq ft) that was built for the seller's mother. Her brother occupied the other half.

Check it out: Duplex

I was itching to update it all around. First up, replacing the flooring with luxury vinyl planks, replacing the ceiling fans and chandeliers with stylish fixtures, putting two faux beams in the living/dining room, and gutting the kitchens and putting in new ones. I mean, shit, the Zillow estimate for this property last year was $934,000, and now they are asking $650,000 and when I told the agent that we were concerned with how much updating the place needed she said they aren't set on the price. Heck, if we could have gotten them to drop to $600K, minus the 3% for realtor fees (WP will act as our realtor pro bono) which comes to $18K, we'd barely be above the value of our house alone, excluding B's house. Yes, it would take $200,000 to $250,000 to bring it up to par, but when it came time to divest of the property we'd have a very valuable property which could provide a way to leapfrog to a lake home. I even offered to buy new furniture and decor for both duplexes next year when my debt is paid in full.

But, they weren't up for the adventure, so now I'm trying to settle my mind on how I can decorate our house to satisfy my creative needs. Our living room is such a challenge at 15' x 12' and only one solid wall. I think I've got it, though. I've created a diagram and layout of the living room, researched pieces of furniture and I could simply pull the trigger if I had the funds to do it today. In 12 months I'll no doubt have to revisit my ideas and sources. I'm sure I'll change things up a bit, but I'll have a pretty solid plan going into it. Next up are the front room, and sunroom. There will be lots of mid century modern happening, as our house is post modern and this style fits it well.

One of B's cats got super sick and she took her into the emergency vet on Sunday. She should be coming home today, Wednesday, finally. Lots of expensive tests to determine that she has IBS. I am shocked at how many things were affected by IBS. Thankfully, they saved her life. It would be especially painful to have spent $3k and then lose the cat.

B and I have a date night tonight. It may end up being a hangout at her place rather than going out. :)
 
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Date night with B last week went very well. Now that we're a number of days out from it I can see how it has improved things on many levels of closeness and commitment to the relationship in B's behavior. Bond has also noticed a difference. :)

Saturday night we went to a backyard party and I did a lot of day drinking. Damn me.

Yesterday Franki came up and we attempted to go to an arts and crafts fair that has a good reputation. I had never been to it, but I was pretty excited to see it. The weather forecast was not in our favor, and I drove through a deluge to get there, just to end up sitting in the car trying to wait it out. We finally decided we would head back home and we weren't on the road terribly long when the sky started brightening behind us. We debated turning around, but decided against it. When we got back to my house, I saw that they closed the show at 1:00 pm due to the weather so we were really glad with our decision. We found Franki's artwork in the studio and her packs of canvases and loaded her stuff into her vehicle. Her hubby helped her set up a studio area in their home, so she won't have to travel to my house to paint. We hung out and chatted for a couple of hours and then we went to the new At Home store that went into the old Sam's Club building. Neither one of us bought anything, but it was interesting. I saw a lot of furniture that was near matches for the stuff I'm considering for the house. It is the cheaper version of the styles, which was good to see in person, because now I am going to be more cautious of finding good deals online, as the quality isn't as high as I want. My new resolve is to find the pieces/styles I want in brick and mortar stores, so I can judge the quality of the craftsmanship firsthand.

I am heading up north for the 4th of July. My parents are celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary and have guilted me into coming. I can't tell you how much I dread having to go. Last night I booked myself an airbnb room. Actually, it's a silo with three levels; bathroom on the ground floor, bedroom on the second, and a lounge on the third. There is a house on the property that my family once rented for Christmas, so I am familiar with the place and actually used to work with the host.

Part of my dread about going up there was staying at my parents' home, so this eliminates that issue. I just couldn't stand the thought of staying in a room where mice are rampant. Ugh. So many levels of ick.

I should call my sister and see what she needs me to do for the party. They're having it at the museum she runs. There is a nice pavilion and a kitchen so it makes it easy to do things like this. That being said, it's still a lot of work. The plan is for everyone to head to the museum following the parade. I imagine there will be a fireworks viewing plan later that night, too. I'm heading home Friday morning.

Today is my brother's birthday. He's 61. I'm not sure how the fuck I can possibly have siblings that old! Geez, Louise.

I'm leaving work early today. I need time to get paintings and little cards with info/price ready for installing today at a cafe/bakery. I think I'll be taking around 20 or so paintings. I was so damn tired yesterday that I couldn't even make a concrete plan.

Hey, speaking of artwork, I have talked more in depth with Bond and B about how much I don't care to do art fairs. New plan is to not do them. LOL. I am going to slash my prices so that I'm at least covering the cost of materials. This should help things move and that means I can keep doing art without drowning in it. I feel so much better about things now.
 
My parents' anniversary party went very well. My sister really has a handle on hosting these sort of things now. She ordered pulled pork and biscuits (to go with strawberries) from Sysco and we made a couple of salads, and then others contributed, too. We had a ton of food, all delicious, and lots of happy people.

I rented an Airbnb place for Wednesday and Thursday nights, and my youngest son and his GF rented a room in the main inn there, too. The room I rented was actually a silo and it was super cute. My bed was suspended, so I was rocked all night long - or at least in response to my movements, which means that every time I tossed a leg out of the covers I started things in motion.

In a collaborative effort from my brother and his son-in-law, and sister's son and his GF, worked to get a deck reassembled and installed on my parents' house. My brother's SIL gave it to them when they replaced one on their house a few years back and it has been sitting behind their house waiting to be put in place. It's really nice and my parents are going to love it. Their lawn furniture is showing signs of sun damage, so I'd like to get them some new patio furniture.

It was so nice to get back home. I got home a little after 2 pm on Friday and Bond was off of work, so we did some errands and just spent time together. Saturday morning Bond and I had a late start to our day and then around noon we picked up four chairs I bought secondhand from someone on the Nextdoor app. They paired perfectly with a spool drum top table I had gotten the week before off of the same app. We put them in the sunroom and took down the hideous curtains Bond put up "temporarily" four years ago.

Saturday evening our triad, and B's old BF, went to a party at some poly friends of ours. It was nearly an hour drive one way, so we carpooled. Yesterday, (Sunday) B had us and another couple and their two kids over for dinner. She had water balloons and super soakers ready for the four kids and they had a lot of fun. It was super relaxing and fun. All-in-all, it was a really nice weekend.
 
Links to pics:

The new deck at my parents'.

The view from the deck. My dad loves this view. It is the pasture across the road from their house. They live on a 40 acre hobby farm and the land across the road is part of a big farm. At one time besides dairy cows, this farmer had elk and deer and they were in this pasture. The elk calls were fantastic.

The new table and chairs in the sunroom - Max approved! Can you believe I got this table for $25 and the chairs for $125?! I love secondhand things - the prices and saving things from a landfill make me so happy.

Sweet asses. Our party hosts live next to these little donkeys and they were taking care of them for their owners last weekend, so we walked over to see them.
 
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Petunia said:
The view from the deck. My dad loves this view. It is the pasture across the road from their house. They live on a 40 acre hobby farm and the land across the road is part of a big farm. At one time besides dairy cows, this farmer had elk and deer and they were in this pasture. The elk calls were fantastic.
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Love the view from the deck! Now that OldHouse is sold, I can dream of my plans for ForeverHome - which includes a wide roofed front porch so we can watch the deer frolic in the neighbors field across the street and watch the summer thunderstorms roll up from the valley. I love living on land in the country!
 
JaneQSmythe said:
Love the view from the deck! Now that OldHouse is sold, I can dream of my plans for ForeverHome - which includes a wide roofed front porch so we can watch the deer frolic in the neighbors field across the street and watch the summer thunderstorms roll up from the valley. I love living on land in the country!
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That sounds idyllic, Jane. I love wide, deep porches.
 
Last night I walked in the door and suddenly thought, "Hey, is Polycocktails tonight?" I was opening my calendar to check when B messaged the same thing. I quickly cooked dinner, (bacon-wrapped scallops), Bond and I ate, and then we headed downtown for the meetup and B met us there.

The weather was perfect for the patio, and it was packed as everyone wanted to be outside. Bond and B sat at one picnic table and I sat at another and we all had a good time visiting with our poly friends. One of our friends was talking about the electric bicycles the city has that you can rent, so now that's what we're doing tonight for date night. Sounds fun. Madison has lots of bike paths, including ones along sections of the lakes.

Another acquaintance told us about some ladies breakfast (?) booby thing on Sundays and I believe I may have been told I'm doing that. :eek: This is what happens when you're not sitting at the same table and it's loud, so you're not really sure you're hearing things correctly. All I know is the result of this conversation resulted in another friend whipping her top up and showing off a beautiful bra, much to everyone's delight. :D There was enthusiastic clapping.

For the most part I spent my time talking to two men. One was there for the first time, and the other is a regular that until more recently, I avoided. I'm kind of surprised by my change of heart regarding this gentleman. B has always been friendly with him, and I could never phantom why. But now, I'm starting to enjoy his company. What was even more surprising to me was that I was feeling like I may be feeling more DTF than I have been feeling. I wonder what's up with that. I have no intention to act on this randiness, but it is interesting to have it start to surface.



Ha! B just sent me this pic. It's cleaning day and she just found this. Doggo

She had my ugly dog stashed on top of the coat closet by the scary monkey that looks out the window over our front door.

I told her, "That ugly little doggo is scared of heights."

I wonder where I'll find the little, bug-eyed devil tonight.
 
Answer: doggo was hiding under Bond's pillow. :D
 
Last night we gathered to celebrate my friend Ruby's birthday and her new job. I was in awe of the people around the table. Ruby herself is someone I admire for many reasons, including the work she is doing as a peer specialist for a place that specializes in treating individuals struggling with addiction and mental health disorders.

There was a triad of lesbians that have a three year-old preschooler and a 7 week-old baby. We all three have separate acquaintance histories with the ladies of this triad either with one or two, or all three of them, so it's very heartwarming to see them in this parenting stage now. One of the three is an immigration attorney, and another lady there is also an immigration attorney.

One of the aforementioned triad ladies is a co-owner of a bookstore in Madison, called A Room of One's Own Bookstore. This bookstore recently spearheaded a movement that gathered nationwide, maybe even international, participation in a fundraiser called, "Bookstores Against Borders." As of yesterday, they have raised over $90K that will be donated to RAICES. Check out the hashtag, #bookstoresagainstborders. There are news articles about it and quite a bit on Facebook, too. I'm in awe.

The second immigration attorney I mentioned is closing on a condo in our neighborhood later this month. She is nervous about being on the west side of Madison as it's slightly more conservative than downtown or the east side. She was really happy to learn that we are basically neighbors - a mere 1/2 mile from between our homes. I invited her and her girlfriend to join us Sunday evening for a little dinner get-together we're hosting.

This morning B messaged to say that her cat (Snickers - the one who was recently in the emergency vet hospital for multiple days) peed on her hand while she was holding her. Super dark pee and that it stained her hand! OMG, poor sick kitty. She called the vet and now has an appointment for her at 9:30 this morning. Bond is going with her for moral support. I'm glad she accepted his offer.

Today is Franki's and my dating anniversary. I'm not sure I'd say we're actually dating, but whatever. She counts it, so I will too. Tomorrow is her b-day and we are doing a dinner murder mystery event. I'm super excited about that. I've always wanted to do one and now we are. :)

Our weather is about to turn miserable with very high heat indexes with high humidity and great potential for severe storms. They are saying it may last more than 10 days. :( I'm so grateful for air conditioning! I hope we don't end up with flooding or threatening storms; the heat alone will be bad enough. I hope to make it to the Art on (and off) the Square, but the heat may keep me home. Bond plans on helping our friends with their remodel, as they are up against a deadline. B is going to Green Bay for a music benefit in honor of her pops that committed suicide last year. He was kind of a big deal. I wish I'd have met him. Check out The Canary Fund on Facebook or here.

Wednesday I took a mental health day. First thing was this project. I had this brainchild to put the hanging plant on a pulley so I could lower it for watering and then raise it out of the way and out of the cats' reach again without having to pull out a stool. I did an online search and found that this is not a unique idea. LOL. Of course not.

So, being the kind of person who jumps into things without knowing exactly how to do something, I managed to break the head off of a screw and needed to ask for an assist from Bond later that night. And now that we're down one screw that is the special decorator color to match the hardware, I need to return the hardware and get another one before we can install the upper cleat which will allow the plant to be lowered.

Plant pulley!
Another shot, but with my helper, Inspector Max. (I can see Sybil's head by the patio door on the other side of the plant.)
 
Snickers tested positive for FeLV. The dark staining pee was due to bilirubin. She was running a slightly elevated temp. Her bilirubin level was higher than the last time. They are treating with some vitamin B and prednisone. They sent her home with drugs and they are waiting for one more test. Bond said that if she doesn't improve in a week, then it'll be time to make some end of life decisions. :(
 
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