Kenleykitten
New member
I'm new to polyamory. I've know a polygamous M/F couple for years and when my 2nd monogamous marriage fell apart I revealed to them that I had developed feelings for them both and I asked if they were open to the idea of dating me. They were over the moon excited. They have dated other people but have only had one other female long term relationship that they invited to join them as equal partner who turned them down. The wife affectionately called my their unicorn. I thought the term was cute, so I was cool with it. I have 2 children from my 2nd marriage and live separately in another state from them for now but we've talked about all living under the same roof one day. I also discovered about myself that I am a sub/kitten and asked if they were interested in bdsm, or any other kink. The husband had been a dom back in the day and the wife was curious about it and open. We have spoke at length about a D/S relationship and they are both open and accepting. They would both my dom/domme and I'd be their sub. We had almost a year of talking a lot about boundaries, desires, and limits, as well as a few visits.
It seems that lately they have been fighting more. When they fight I get an earful of venting about the other. The things that they complain about don't directly relate to me, like who's not done the dishes and they both think the other one leaves the messes around the house and doesn't help out enough etc. They both seem to think that my moving in will solve these problems as I would assume much of the household chores. I always listen, validate their feelings, and encourage them to sit down and talk with each other when they can express themselves calmly. When I check in the next day with the other side of the couple and ask how things are going I'm surprised to find that they haven't talked. Trying to not betray confidence I'll still mention that one was upset and that they should try talking about xyz. I am then told that that's not accurate and that's not what happened and they are the ones that have been maligned. I try to again encourage them to talk and that I am in no way accurately relaying any of the details I was only letting them know they needed to talk. But that seems to never happen.
My questions are, am I wrong for saying anything?
Should I just keep my mouth shut and let them work it out on their own?
Should I let them vent to me their frustrations about their spouse?
I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do here.
Thanks.
It seems that lately they have been fighting more. When they fight I get an earful of venting about the other. The things that they complain about don't directly relate to me, like who's not done the dishes and they both think the other one leaves the messes around the house and doesn't help out enough etc. They both seem to think that my moving in will solve these problems as I would assume much of the household chores. I always listen, validate their feelings, and encourage them to sit down and talk with each other when they can express themselves calmly. When I check in the next day with the other side of the couple and ask how things are going I'm surprised to find that they haven't talked. Trying to not betray confidence I'll still mention that one was upset and that they should try talking about xyz. I am then told that that's not accurate and that's not what happened and they are the ones that have been maligned. I try to again encourage them to talk and that I am in no way accurately relaying any of the details I was only letting them know they needed to talk. But that seems to never happen.
My questions are, am I wrong for saying anything?
Should I just keep my mouth shut and let them work it out on their own?
Should I let them vent to me their frustrations about their spouse?
I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do here.
Thanks.