So much for trying to be friends with the ex!
- Thread starter Magdlyn
- Start date
GG, you edited while I was posting. You see I am making progress.
I would like to let it go. But again, I just can't snap my fingers and have it go poof. I was doing quite well. Seeing Ginger and him rejecting my friendship, well, that hurt. Riled me up. He even said, when we met, that when I was casually chatting online with him a couple days before, he didn't care about anything I was talking about. He wants to be all-in with me, or nothing. He wants complete access to my body, or nothing. Nothing casual, nothing platonic. Full-on access and contact. Or nothing. So, he gets nothing. And I get nothing.
But I love posting here where I can get lots of input and a little sympathy from multiple people I consider friends. PMing the same thing over and over again would be so time consuming, and I like the option of discussing it and seeing different viewpoints simultaneously, even like just now, when YAH disagreed with you...
I agree posting here gives Ginger and his minions ammo and attention. I will not be posting here forever. I just wanted to feel heard, by my friends.
I would like to let it go. But again, I just can't snap my fingers and have it go poof. I was doing quite well. Seeing Ginger and him rejecting my friendship, well, that hurt. Riled me up. He even said, when we met, that when I was casually chatting online with him a couple days before, he didn't care about anything I was talking about. He wants to be all-in with me, or nothing. He wants complete access to my body, or nothing. Nothing casual, nothing platonic. Full-on access and contact. Or nothing. So, he gets nothing. And I get nothing.
But I love posting here where I can get lots of input and a little sympathy from multiple people I consider friends. PMing the same thing over and over again would be so time consuming, and I like the option of discussing it and seeing different viewpoints simultaneously, even like just now, when YAH disagreed with you...
I agree posting here gives Ginger and his minions ammo and attention. I will not be posting here forever. I just wanted to feel heard, by my friends.
YouAreHere
Well-known member
Agreed that they're looking for trouble. Still, shutting off her outlet to appease them is crap, but I'm a stubborn SOB. Cutting all contact so they can't piss and moan that they're hurt? That will probably be better.
Yes, Mags. You are free. And you're in a place to see it for what it is now, after having that initial distance. That's huge.
Yes, Mags. You are free. And you're in a place to see it for what it is now, after having that initial distance. That's huge.
Yes, Mags, I was still forming my thoughts there. You have made progress. I meant that this journey isn't totally over yet. There's still more to go. Grief takes as long as it does.
If you need more help carrying that burden, please do consider counseling. This is a huge load you are under.
You ARE heard, though.
Galagirl
If you need more help carrying that burden, please do consider counseling. This is a huge load you are under.
You ARE heard, though.
Galagirl
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Yes, I was coming to a nice sweet calm acceptance place until two days ago. The momentary relief I first felt when I broke up with him in July was coming back, and growing.
But I wanted to try and see if we could be friends. And what do I get? Rejection. Arrogance. Accusation about me being a liar, and threats of suing me for slander. Confessions that he had asked a friend to monitor my blog for him! Good lord.
I am well out of this. It pisses me off, though, that he's so clueless and arrogantly "Zen," all high and mighty today, saying, "We three are making wonderful progress," after sobbing out his frustrations around Carla two days ago, on MY shoulder!
But I wanted to try and see if we could be friends. And what do I get? Rejection. Arrogance. Accusation about me being a liar, and threats of suing me for slander. Confessions that he had asked a friend to monitor my blog for him! Good lord.
I am well out of this. It pisses me off, though, that he's so clueless and arrogantly "Zen," all high and mighty today, saying, "We three are making wonderful progress," after sobbing out his frustrations around Carla two days ago, on MY shoulder!
Just to be absolutely clear: Ginger confessed this afternoon that he'd asked a friend to "monitor" (spy on) my blog, just in case I mentioned Carla or David, and "lied" about what was going on with them and Ginger. Then he would know what to say, I guess, IF, in a moment of "weakness," David or Carla happened to decide to read it, and got upset. He feared that my words ("lies," as he said) about them would "ruin things" between him and them.
As you who read my blog know, I have not been talking about my ex's new partners much all summer. Just going about my healing... I don't blame them! I really do just want to move on.
Apparently his minion read this thread yesterday and saw me mention Carla cheating on David and being punished. And his minion told Ginger. And now he is scolding me for "lying" since I didn't explain the cheating "accurately." Even though he didn't share a lot of details about it, I didn't lie; I told what I understood to be the truth.
SO! *waves at Ginger's mysterious minion/spy/lackey* I hope you are enjoying your oh-so-ethical spying and reporting to your Master.
It was my own mistake to see if he and I could be friends again. I can see that is impossible. He does like attention. It's obviously an ego gratification for him, being a bone two dogs are tugging on. Or three dogs. He likes his bone being tugged. I am done tugging.
For those of you that have suggested I not talk to Carla or David, I have not been. I messaged David today briefly to ask him if he's been reading here, and he said he has not been reading this board, or my blog or other threads. He assured me he has not been. I have no need or desire to talk to C or D and have not been in contact with either of them since July.
So, it's all on Ginger. My apologies to David. And a big fuck you to Ginger's hired spy.
As you who read my blog know, I have not been talking about my ex's new partners much all summer. Just going about my healing... I don't blame them! I really do just want to move on.
Apparently his minion read this thread yesterday and saw me mention Carla cheating on David and being punished. And his minion told Ginger. And now he is scolding me for "lying" since I didn't explain the cheating "accurately." Even though he didn't share a lot of details about it, I didn't lie; I told what I understood to be the truth.
SO! *waves at Ginger's mysterious minion/spy/lackey* I hope you are enjoying your oh-so-ethical spying and reporting to your Master.
It was my own mistake to see if he and I could be friends again. I can see that is impossible. He does like attention. It's obviously an ego gratification for him, being a bone two dogs are tugging on. Or three dogs. He likes his bone being tugged. I am done tugging.
For those of you that have suggested I not talk to Carla or David, I have not been. I messaged David today briefly to ask him if he's been reading here, and he said he has not been reading this board, or my blog or other threads. He assured me he has not been. I have no need or desire to talk to C or D and have not been in contact with either of them since July.
So, it's all on Ginger. My apologies to David. And a big fuck you to Ginger's hired spy.
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Re (from Magdlyn):
Hmmm. Are you using real names in your blog? If not, I would think that slander would be hard to establish in court. I'm no lawyer, but ...
I suppose in theory you could create an alternate Polyamory.com account, and start a new blog using all new nicknames. Not 100% sure how the mods would take to that; under the circumstances they probably wouldn't mind. That's a lot of trouble for you to go to, though, for what should be exclusively Ginger's problem.
My vote is to continue blogging as usual, and just not respond to any of Ginger's attempts to contact you. Ignore him. Block him when and wherever possible. All he's got to threaten you with is hot air, so you don't even need to listen to him.
Usually I don't believe in karma, but in Ginger's case I suspect karma is going to swing around and bite him right in the keister. You don't need to be involved in that process, and you don't need to be there to witness it when it happens. The likelihood is good enough.
Crikey. The ballooning drama boggles the senses. Sorry you've had to put up with this crap. At least you do know you tried to offer an olive branch.
Hmmm. Are you using real names in your blog? If not, I would think that slander would be hard to establish in court. I'm no lawyer, but ...
I suppose in theory you could create an alternate Polyamory.com account, and start a new blog using all new nicknames. Not 100% sure how the mods would take to that; under the circumstances they probably wouldn't mind. That's a lot of trouble for you to go to, though, for what should be exclusively Ginger's problem.
My vote is to continue blogging as usual, and just not respond to any of Ginger's attempts to contact you. Ignore him. Block him when and wherever possible. All he's got to threaten you with is hot air, so you don't even need to listen to him.
Usually I don't believe in karma, but in Ginger's case I suspect karma is going to swing around and bite him right in the keister. You don't need to be involved in that process, and you don't need to be there to witness it when it happens. The likelihood is good enough.
Crikey. The ballooning drama boggles the senses. Sorry you've had to put up with this crap. At least you do know you tried to offer an olive branch.
opalescent
Active member
A permanent 40 days might be in order. Sorry, I don't see much to salvage currently. It is hard to detangle completely but might be for the best, at least for a while.