Something is bugging me about Sweet Lady

Then had it thrown at me that they wanted me involved so I had to adjust mentally to that.

I'm really sensing that the "they" is really a "he." Is she his sub or slave...?
 
I'm really sensing that the "they" is really a "he." Is she his sub or slave...?

No she is not. She is more outspoken and bossy than he is. When you watch the dynamic between the two of them you can see right away she is the one "in charge."
 
I'm not into BDSM, but from the long-ass thread we have here about it, I learned a lot and have read a bit about it elsewhere as well. So, my confusion about all this, is this: my understanding is that a Master/Dom shouldn't really force or expect a Slave or Sub to have sex with anyone they don't want to. Essentially, that's non-consensual... aka rape. I thought that everything a Master or Dom has a Sub or Slave do is really, ultimately for the Sub/Slave's benefit and according to previously agreed-upon contracts about what sort of growth and goals the Sub or Slave wishes to achieve. If that is the case, generally, then why are these two women feeling like they have to please their Master by hooking up sexually when, it seems obvious enough, neither of them really wants it? Something smells fishy here, and I would question the Master's motives and capability in this dynamic. I also think some contract re-negotiation is in order.
 
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Where are you guys reading that Emmy/Bud is a Dom/sub relationship? Is it in a different post? The OP doesn't say anything about that in this post, in fact, when another poster asked about SL "Is she his sub or slave...?" To OP replied:

No she is not. She is more outspoken and bossy than he is. When you watch the dynamic between the two of them you can see right away she is the one "in charge."

Am I missing something?
 
I could be remembering this wrong, but it seems like Bud is Emmy's Dom. Is SL Bud's Dom? I don't know.
 
Where are you guys reading that Emmy/Bud is a Dom/sub relationship? Is it in a different post? The OP doesn't say anything about that in this post, in fact, when another poster asked about SL "Is she his sub or slave...?" To OP replied:



Am I missing something?

Yes, you are. She talks about that D/s dynamic in other threads she's started.
 
I never should have started this thread. I should have dealt with it myself. I apologize for the confusion it caused.
 
I never should have started this thread. I should have dealt with it myself. I apologize for the confusion it caused.

No, this is something you should have people help you with. This is a very strange situation.
 
Candiedlove and nycindie are right: Even if you know what you need to do, it's still helpful to get other people's perspectives. Worst-case scenario, you get confirmation in your own mind that you had the right idea all along. Confirmation is a good thing, amirite?
 
I never should have started this thread. I should have dealt with it myself. I apologize for the confusion it caused.

Why do you say that? I don't feel confused at all. And even if some people are confused, so what? Lots of us have complicated situations. I don't think there's anything "weird" about yours. Some people here didn't read your other threads to get the full picture, is all.
 
You aren't alone in dealing with these things, and if you have questions or concerns, this is definitely the right place.

That said--and others may thwap me for saying this--you've started a number of threads that all seem to be about the same issue, or closely related issues. Some of the necessary information about your dynamic (e.g. the BDSM aspects) isn't present in all the threads, so it is causing confusion for those who haven't read every single thread you've started.

That is not to say you're doing anything wrong by starting several different threads; however, it might be more beneficial to you, and easier for some of those who are trying to advise you, if you continued a single thread with additional questions and concerns rather than starting a new thread for each new issue or question.

It's certainly up to you how you prefer to post and ask for advice, and I don't mean to imply that there's a "right" or "wrong" way to post on here. It's just a suggestion that might result in fewer questions about things that you've already explained elsewhere, and more helpful advice about the actual situations.
 
Another approach is to introduce each new thread with a (short?) list of links to prior threads that contain relevant background info. People don't have to follow those links but they can if they get confused. Just an idea.
 
A threeway relationship worked for my wife, our girlfriend and me for 38 years. However, it did not work out for most of the couples we knew in similar relationships. It always seemed that the husband fell deeply in love with the other woman and ran off with her. It destroyed our best friend's marriage and that of a few other couples we hung out with into alternative sexual relationships.

Unless the other woman is living with you and involved in all the mundane things in a marriage such as raising the kids, finances, housework, etc., the other woman is only seen as a fun play partner. There are not areas of conflict, only sex and fun. She does not nag the guy to do housework or stop spending so much. This is typical of what happens when men have lovers on the side. Their wife is not as appealing as their fun sexual partner. We saw the marriages ruined in every relationship in which our friends lived alternative lifestyles. Usually the husband ran off with the other woman. Once the wife ran off with the other woman. My wife and I were the only ones to survive intact out of a small group of 5 couples.

I think it is worse when the wife is submissive and dominated by the other woman. As my friend told me after he left his wife for their girlfriend, he still loved his wife but his love did not come from a place of respect because she was so submissive and let the other woman humiliate and dominate her so easily. Who knows what will happen to you but even though it worked well for us, I think that the odds are against most who play with others. I do not know any other couple who is long married that was into cuckolding, poly, wife swapping or swinging. They were all divorced a long time ago and remarried several times. What typical happened was that once they moved in with their lover and had to deal with the day to day things of their life together, they split up and repeated the same mistake over and over again. With us, there was never a problem and we all made sure that we treated each other the same, showing the same love to each. Good luck. I am sending a mixed message that says it can work but that it may not. It is a gamble with the odds in favor of the house, not the players.
 
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