Starcrossed's Introduction

Starcrossed

New member
Hello! I'm new here so I am introducing myself. :)

My husband (48) and I (40) have been married for 12 years and together for 15... we have recently made the decision to explore polyamory, though neither of us have actually acted on this decision yet. I'm looking for a welcoming, non-judgmental community for a sounding board and to meet like-minded people.

A bit about me and my journey... I am involved in the local renaissance faire, which has a very heavy overlap with the poly community, at least where I live, so I have lottttts of local acquaintances/friends in the poly community. I first learned about polyamory about 10 years ago, and have been contemplating it and really feeling drawn to it philosophically over the last 5 or so. I get crushes frequently and used to just quash them down like a dutiful monogamous wife. But since about 2016, I became increasingly uncomfortable with quashing feelings of love and declining to pursue positive, affection-based connections, when hate is everywhere and is allowed to run rampant. It started to feel almost immoral NOT to pursue these connections, while of course it would have ALSO been immoral to pursue them while in a monogamous relationship (and I never did). I struggled mightily with that paradox for quite awhile (did I mention I'm an INFJ?).

Enter the pandemic, when I (like many others) began to re-evaluate my priorities in life, and I decided it was finally time to talk about this with my spouse. I was very afraid I would hurt him or he would be angry, but he was very understanding. That conversation went about as well as it possibly could have gone. So, here we are!
 
Greetings Starcrossed,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You will find like-minded people here, just keep reading and posting. It sounds like you and your husband have a really good relationship, and are just starting out on the poly adventure together. I see that this was not a decision you made quickly, you have put a lot of thought into it. That bodes well. I'm glad you could join us!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
::waves:: SCA person here so I get the geek Venn diagram. Welcome!
 
I'm happy for you to start this adventure, and I'm glad your partner is on board. You have probably learned about how poly goes from observing your friends, some of the benefits and the speed bumps, but if you need specific advice, you've come to the right place!
 
Welcome! Glad to hear the initial conversation went well.

Also glad you are trying to live life more authentically to the things you value.

GG
 
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