Still new and quite insecure, but trying! Hello

[Rail]

Hello, I am Rail,

I'm still quite new to Poly and honestly so far had my fair share of issues with it, funny enough, I was sceptical about it
because you know mono brain, sharing a partner and all, but it didn't hit me as hard, as it does my partners, what a plot twist.

I'm 25 and live in Germany, other than that, there isn't much I can say about myself really, I'm a run of the mill, what other people have started calling me,
Golden Retriever Gamer Boyfriend (had to look it up myself, too), to those that know what it means, it'll probably tell you tons.

I am mainly here to read other people's experience with poly and how they handle certain situations and to see if I'm the only one who experiences them or not,
if the way I'm feeling is valid in any way or if I'm just looking at things the wrong way, so expect to see me write here from time to time.
I generally just don't see myself in a position to actually give a reply on how to handle a certain situation, because other than one person,
you always have to think about more people and that can get quite confusing and yea, it's just in anyone's best interest, so I took some time to look at this board.

I hope to get along with everyone and am looking forward to interacting more!

 

[IvanTrentBrown]

Hi Rail,
I'm new to Poly as well. I'm still learning and some of those lessons are hard!

I think I understand the term Golden Retriever. I was involved with a woman who's husband fits your description. He did play a lot of video games. Maybe out of entertainment. Or maybe to escape.

He pretty much went along with whatever his wife wanted. He never wanted to upset her and never had a say in decisions. So I think that's why he always gets hurt.

My friendship with the husband became non-existent after I started a relationship with her. Communication was our downfall. I did make an effort to talk it out with him. But he's a quiet and reserved guy. He never says what he feels out of fear of disappointing his wife.

I've been slowly interacting with this forum and it has been insightful. I hope it helps you too

 

[Rail]

Hi Rail,
I'm new to Poly as well. I'm still learning and some of those lessons are hard!

I think I understand the term Golden Retriever. I was involved with a woman who's husband fits your description. He did play a lot of video games. Maybe out of entertainment. Or maybe to escape.

He pretty much went along with whatever his wife wanted. He never wanted to upset her and never had a say in decisions. So I think that's why he always gets hurt.

My friendship with the husband became non-existent after I started a relationship with her. Communication was our downfall. I did make an effort to talk it out with him. But he's a quiet and reserved guy. He never says what he feels out of fear of disappointing his wife.

I've been slowly interacting with this forum and it has been insightful. I hope it helps you too

Hey! While I generally try to keep stuff low profile, I do prefer to have more say in matters, tho when it comes to poly, I've taken it really, carefully slow, which is unlike me, I'm more of a head through the wall person haha.
I think women call me that, because I'm more Type B than A when it comes to life, no need to get aggressive or sad, just enjoy it

I kind of have the same issue with my partner, just wrote something about it, her partner gets incredibly jealous of me, which is why I think he actually fits your description quite well there, but it does affect me, too, just wanted to make sure I'm not being unreasonable myself.

Thank you and I hope so too, glad to hear it's been positive for you!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Rail,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I read your other thread, and responded there briefly ... basically, I feel that her partner is being very cruel towards you, and she should not be supporting him in that. I hope things will work out so that you don't have to be sad all the time. In the meantime, welcome to our forum! I hope we can help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[Rail]

Greetings Rail,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I read your other thread, and responded there briefly ... basically, I feel that her partner is being very cruel towards you, and she should not be supporting him in that. I hope things will work out so that you don't have to be sad all the time. In the meantime, welcome to our forum! I hope we can help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

Thank you very much!

Everyone has their own view and it's normal, the main reason why I write here, is to see how other people see it, as an outside view, especially if they themselves had the same issue, can be a great way to see flaws in you and your partner, that might otherwise go unnoticed.

I will check those threads out! Thanks for the recommendation!

 

[kdt26417]

No problem, I'm glad if we could help.