Talking it out

A gnarly cold worked its way through the family. I am feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. I've gained back about 20 of the almost 50 pounds I lost so I am trying to be more intentional about my intake again without becoming calorie obsessed. That and going to bed on time with likely improve my mood and energy levels.

I've started doing LG's preferred sport with her which has been fun and added some much needed physical activity and flexibility training.

A couple of friends and I have been having weekly hangouts and I'm feeling burnt out. My introverted self is feeling the need for disconnect from other humans for a while. Life has been too busy lately. Hubby doesn't get it but tries to help. Boy is feeling it too and would love to find time for a chill, plan nothing except relaxation getaway. Finding time though...
A very relaxing, very decadent weekend with Boy happened.

Sport is going well. First competition for me happened and LG moved up a level. She has been placing on the lower end, but still placing, which is amazing. Her hard work is being recognized by people outside of our small group 💖

Hubby and I have weekly date nights on the calendar now. So far, we have done a puzzle and watched TV until I started snoring - focused time together has been nice even if it's silly little things like that.
Hubby and I have kept up on date nights and have a long weekend planned next month. Boy will be spending 3 nights with LG and the pets for us. He will have to take her to 3 different activities and is both dreading it (lots of people) and looking forward to it (being there for the kid, letting hubby and I have time, generally getting a glimpse of what my every day is like).

Hubby has reconnected with... can't remember what I named her on here. It's a little early this year, but covid kind of threw off their normal cycle. He's traveled to see her a few times, and she came here while LG and I were at Boy's one weekend.

My friend also convinced me to reactivate my tinder. Damn that app is a trip. I've had one set of unicorn hunters get pissed because I told them I wasn't for them - they were insisting everything could be a group thing. I was polite at first and hoped maybe they'd listen (they seemed nice otherwise). When they insisted it wasn't an issue, I thanked them for being willing to stop dating each other one on one for me, if we got to the actual dating part. They... did not like that. Lol they weren't awful but they were definitely unhappy that I pointed out flaws in their master plan. Oh well, unmatched and moved on. My friend and I matched with the same woman which was HILARIOUS. I was vibing more friendly while friend was developing a crush fast. We all made plans to meet up at Pride but then my friend's mental health got worse so she bailed. Not sure if I'll meet the new woman or not since a group I'm in is actually setting up a booth. She'll probably just stop by to say hi and actually go with people she already knows. 😆
Are you saying their plan was 'no one will see anyone unless all three of us are there?'. And then you noted that would mean they couldn't date each other without you there? LOL.
Are you saying their plan was 'no one will see anyone unless all three of us are there?'. And then you noted that would mean they couldn't date each other without you there? LOL.
They said they wouldn't see me unless it was all of us, so yes, I replied that it would only be "fair" if they didn't see each other without me either - otherwise it is just a big old double standard from the get go. Lol

I might be weird, but I enjoy being a unicorn now and then. I've dated a few couples and had a blast. This couple was super cute but so full of red flags it wasn't even funny 😅
LG has started referring to Boy as her "part-time parent." She says he's like a parent when he's here but is like a friend when he's not here. I think that's adorable. Boy was worried that Hubby would be upset by that. Hubby has no opinion on it and is happy the child is surrounded by love/humans that make her feel comfortable.

We've been talking about pronouns a lot lately as well. My sibling has officially come out as nonbinary. LG is proudly telling everyone that her aunt is now a they. 🤣 Sibling has gone by a gender neutral shortening of their name for years and says that being called aunt still is totally fine.
The summer has flown by. It's been fun but exhausting. I had a major illness that slowed me down for a month as well. Rough. We are hoping to plan some international travel next year. That is new for all of us. I've been to Canada but that's it. Hubby and Boy have never left the states. First stop will probably be Canada again for sports stuff but then I would like to go to New Zealand and LG wants to go to Mexico (one of her good friends visits extended family every summer and the family has offered to help us with a safe, fun, educational visit one summer - we'll see if it works out).

Overall things are pretty much normal around here. Hubby has been dating a bit. Nothing serious but it's been fun for him and fairly easy to fit into the schedule which is nice.
Fuck covid. I really wish regular boosters were a thing already. I've been masking and avoiding crowded indoor spaces again because it's so bad in my area. Fingers crossed it stays away from me. My lungs are tired.
I got my updated covid vaccine along with my flu shot. I have appointments scheduled for hubby and LG as well. I've asked Boy if he wants me to have his login info so I can do so for him as well. His insurance/network has changed recently so I no longer have access. He has put getting me set back up with access to his account AND making my status as healthcare proxy known to the new system on the to do list. Unfortunately he's been very stressed so I'll likely have to push and remind him that we never know when an emergency will occur so it really is important.
LG and I are officially the beneficiaries on all Boy's life insurances and such. He needs to get a will set up so his housemates will get his house. Well, that's my personal preference - maybe he will have other plans but they've lived there with him since before he bought it and do lots of improvements on their own dime sooo... they deserve it imo and I would just sell/gift it to them for as little as possible if he left it to me anyway. Lol I have no issue with his parents being the default next of kin for that kind of stuff either, but his dad is not healthy and mom has stated that inheriting things is a hassle she doesn't need since they are pretty set anyway and don't like paperwork. If it happened, she'd also be dealing with losing her son soo... Ideally we will avoid that.

Hubby and I have paid of our student loans so we are also making future financial plans. Obviously LG will get all assets and we are excited to not have debts to leave behind. Even if she wouldn't be on the hook for the student loans, it's a hassle. My sibling has agreed to be responsible for LG's finances if necessary. Boy would love to be her guardian as well. So paperwork needs to happen. I'm hoping my parents wouldn't fight it or that my sibling would be able to make them cut it out if they showed the desire to. They and Hubby's parents are older and not ideal guardians. Hubby's siblings are not our kind of people so not our preference either. I'd have to come back to haunt them if they tried to make a bigot out of my child!

Anyway... that's what's on my mind lately. Things are pretty good. Gearing up for holidays. Halloween costumes obtained. Feast dates set. Christmas lists started. Yayyy!
I have been sick fairly constantly since my last post. It has been miserable. I am finally feeling pretty good though and plan to drag Boy out hiking this weekend. It'll be good for both of our mental health.

Hubby has a crush on a mutual friend of ours. They are the parent of one of LG's classmates so we interact regularly at birthday parties and such. They came to a holiday gathering we hosted and we attended one they hosted as well. I also had a bit of a crush, which is odd because Hubby and I rarely have the same taste in people! I've rationalized it away for the most part, though, because this person and I have very different communication needs and I know my schedule is already very full as is theirs. There's no way we could make anything happen, but it's fun to enjoy their company and gently tease Hubby when the two of them get a little flirty at times. Oh, they're actually poly, too! And showing up on Feeld so I'm tempted to like them there just to see lol i usually do for people i know anyway but thefact that Hubby has some feelings makes me hesitate.

They made a point to tell me they're poly BEFORE I saw an online presence so that I would feel more comfortable including Boy in our shared circle. I guess my openness about my partners made them feel comfy too. Their partner and I have also been chatting a bit, and I am already frequent hug comfy with their spouse. Lol weird to have a social life that includes other open folks again!
I ended up getting sick again 😆 So did LG. We're better now though, which is perfect timing for the holidays!

My house has smelled delicious and been a constant mess all winter break. So many crafts, baking adventures, and celebrations. It's my favorite time of the year.
The holiday season was amazing. Hubby, LG, and I visited extended family a month or so later. Then Hubby had to spend about a month with his parents and siblings to set up in home care, medical appointment plans, and general caring for 2 elders with health issues (previously only one had big needs).

Things have continued to be chaotic since then with a bunch of minor inconveniences - car issues that were quickly resolved, the return of runny noses, change in education plan for the kid, etc.

Overall relationships are boring in the best way. Hubby and I being apart for a while made us realize how much we took each other for granted (again lol). Boy was not able to be around and help much since he was sick and swamped with work at the time, so everyone was impressed with my ability to handle things solo. Haha. Good to know I'm a capable adult when necessary!!
Saw my ex on a dating app. It was like a punch in the gut. He is so fucking cute and a bitter part of myself that I try to keep buried is pissed that he appears to be doing well.

In reality though... I'm content. I love my partners and my life. I do wish him happiness. But dammit. Why wasn't it with me?

Ok. Burying it again. In reality I know I could never be with someone as child free as he is. Someone as RA is he is. We aren't compatible. Que Sera Sera.