Texas Tornado
Matt, 23, male, straight, TX
I've often considered that I could be polyamorous, but I had a hard enough time just getting one girlfriend that I wouldn't have to worry about it. In April I started seeing Girl A and we are very serious now. We often talk about the future and how being together forever is something we both want. We worked together, but since August she has gone back to school in NY and since then we have maintained an open relationship. It's the first time I've been with girl who utilized the open status, and we talk pretty much every day. So when she told me the first time she slept with someone it bothered me a bit. I was mostly jealous not because of the other guy, but that she's much more "outgoing" than I am and I honestly didn't think I would make use of our open status the way she could. I had mentioned to her my thoughts of being polyamorous and she wasn't thrilled with the idea. A big thing between us though is to let the other be who they are, so she respects that.
Last week I sent a drunk message to Girl B (who me and Girl A both worked with) who I used to have a crush on. Basically I told her that I was in an open ldr and wanted an affectionate friendship. We started hanging out Sunday, but since then we've really quickly developed feelings for each other. Last night we talked for hours about our growing feelings. I said since I'm never gonna leave Girl A and won't jeopardize that relationship, that the only way we could be together is if Girl A would be willing to let me have a polyamorous relationship. Girl B was a big fan of the idea. Girl A was not when I talked to her later last night, but said we could have a poly relationship. Today Girl A and I texted back and forth with reassurances that we're not leaving each other no matter what, which was really great. And I officially asked out Girl B.
Girl B doesn't want to be second choice, and I don't want her to be either. I want these two girls to be equal, assuming things keep going well with Girl B. However, Girl A is having a hard time with the idea. She doesn't feel special anymore now that I've seriously brought it up and she says she's sorry she's not enough for me, and it kills me that I've made her feel that way Girl B and I was hoping that since we all worked together then they might at least be friendly, but Girl A doesn't want to hear anything about Girl B. And of course Girl A is jealous that Girl B gets to be with me while she's gone for school.
It seems like no matter what I do I'm making someone feel like shit. Anyone have any advice for me?
Matt, 23, male, straight, TX
I've often considered that I could be polyamorous, but I had a hard enough time just getting one girlfriend that I wouldn't have to worry about it. In April I started seeing Girl A and we are very serious now. We often talk about the future and how being together forever is something we both want. We worked together, but since August she has gone back to school in NY and since then we have maintained an open relationship. It's the first time I've been with girl who utilized the open status, and we talk pretty much every day. So when she told me the first time she slept with someone it bothered me a bit. I was mostly jealous not because of the other guy, but that she's much more "outgoing" than I am and I honestly didn't think I would make use of our open status the way she could. I had mentioned to her my thoughts of being polyamorous and she wasn't thrilled with the idea. A big thing between us though is to let the other be who they are, so she respects that.
Last week I sent a drunk message to Girl B (who me and Girl A both worked with) who I used to have a crush on. Basically I told her that I was in an open ldr and wanted an affectionate friendship. We started hanging out Sunday, but since then we've really quickly developed feelings for each other. Last night we talked for hours about our growing feelings. I said since I'm never gonna leave Girl A and won't jeopardize that relationship, that the only way we could be together is if Girl A would be willing to let me have a polyamorous relationship. Girl B was a big fan of the idea. Girl A was not when I talked to her later last night, but said we could have a poly relationship. Today Girl A and I texted back and forth with reassurances that we're not leaving each other no matter what, which was really great. And I officially asked out Girl B.
Girl B doesn't want to be second choice, and I don't want her to be either. I want these two girls to be equal, assuming things keep going well with Girl B. However, Girl A is having a hard time with the idea. She doesn't feel special anymore now that I've seriously brought it up and she says she's sorry she's not enough for me, and it kills me that I've made her feel that way Girl B and I was hoping that since we all worked together then they might at least be friendly, but Girl A doesn't want to hear anything about Girl B. And of course Girl A is jealous that Girl B gets to be with me while she's gone for school.
It seems like no matter what I do I'm making someone feel like shit. Anyone have any advice for me?
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