The "How Are You Doing" Thread (redux)

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Radio Silence =

  • a status maintained where all fixed or mobile radio stations in an area stop transmitting (sometimes limited to certain frequency bands).
  • the period of time during which this status exists.
  • (figuratively) a period of time during which nothing is heard from a person or organization.
Per Wikipedia, "An order for radio silence is generally issued by the military where any radio transmission may reveal troop positions, either audibly from the sound of talking, or by radio direction finding."
 

nycindie

Active member
I think the term "radio silence" came out of WWII. Soldiers had to maintain radio silence so that their location/position would not be discovered by the enemy. During radio silence, no communications were getting through and no one knew what was going on. So, my guess is that when people use the phrase these days, it's not just about being silent but also being kept in the dark or uninformed about a situation, due to no contact.

ETA: haha, Kevin posted his while I was writing mine. I'm glad that Wikipedia has confirmed that, every now and then, I do know what I'm talking about - I love being a smartypants.
 
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JaneQSmythe

Active member
So the immediate stresses - Family Camp and Festival are over. Still lingering stress over RV situation, general finances and work stuff. I am seeing a therapist, nominally about my procrastination problems, but I actually don't know if it is helpful or if he is just an interesting guy to talk to.

Last night I had bad dreams related to above. And our household has acquired another resident (semi-permanent couch-surfer?). She hasn't been here long enough for me to determine whether that is a stressor. She is very young compared to us. She is not "involved" with any of us. Yes, she is eating our food, drinking our alcohol, etc. but is supposed to be helping with "cleaning" and "chores". Will see how this plays out...
 
I'm getting surgery on my wrist on Tuesday to try to repair an injury I got at work on April 21. I'm anxious about it, I'm sure mostly because I've never had surgery or been under general anesthesia, so it's all anxiety producing because I don't really know completely what to expect. I'm also anxious because we won't know how much damage there is to repair (other than minor carpel tunnel syndrome diagnosed by an EMG) until my orthopedic hand specialist checks it all out with a scope at the beginning of the surgery, which means I won't know until I come out of sedation. The mri shows a tear in the cartilage that forms a false joint on the pinky side but doesn’t show enough detail to know how bad it is. Good thoughts and vibes would be much appreciated on Tuesday!

The surgery went fine. The damage was pretty severe to the cartridge I had to get three stitches to repair the cartilage. The joint had pretty much separated. Now I have this huge dressing up to the middle of my bicep. On the 17th I'll get an actual cast for 4 weeks. Recovery is going to be 12 weeks total.
 

nycindie

Active member
Glad you got through the surgery okay, and wishing you a successful recovery!

The surgery went fine. The damage was pretty severe to the cartridge I had to get three stitches to repair the cartilage. The joint had pretty much separated. Now I have this huge dressing up to the middle of my bicep. On the 17th I'll get an actual cast for 4 weeks. Recovery is going to be 12 weeks total.
 

A2Poly

New member
Well, I can't remember the last time I checked in, but we are past our 2 year anniversary (which Mal and I spent on a trip to Whistler, BC).

Djinn is living in the family home's basement suite that she was sharing with Aladdin until he moved out to go to Uni. She is now casually dating, but hasn't come up with a new partner yet.

Mal and Djinn are coparenting The Kids, but are not in a romantic/sexual relationship anymore, and Djinn considers this to mean that we are not "poly", which she is happy about because she is more "mono" than she realized.

I'm headed out there in about a month to stay for a week with Mal. He hasn't told Djinn this yet, because in spite of all the "not in a relationship" noises, Djinn doesn't cope well with anything related to Mal having other partners. (Yes, even while she lived with her other partner for almost a year, and while she is dating.) So that's fun. He will tell her about 10 days before I get there so she will have time to make whatever preparations she needs to while hopefully limiting the emotional fall out on Mal/The Kids.

Excitingly, he plans to tell the The Kids right after he tells Djinn. They (obviously) know about Djinn and Aladdin, so it shouldn't be a huge shock to them, but it is a shift in our relationship from me primarily being their mom's friend, to being their dad's partner. So I'm a bit anxious about that. But also it feels like a big "relationship thing" that I am now acknowledged by all members of his family as being his partner, so I'm happy about that :)

This is a rough time of year for me though (anniversary of my dad's death will be while I'm visiting) so I'm worried about that and how it will affect my ability to deal with any potential fallout from all these revelations.

But life goes on! And things seem strong and stable between Mal and I, so I'll get through this too :)
 

A2Poly

New member
Well, I'm back from my visit. Djinn and Mal had a bit of a blow up about where she's keeping her things (everywhere) vs where she is living (the basement suite) while I was there that ended in the main floor master bed room (i.e. Used to be 'theirs') is now only Mal's and all Djinns 'stuff' from that room is now in the basement.

Of course there is still the bathroom, living room and kitchen full of her things on the main floor... even though he is not allowed to go into "her space" (the basement suite). It remains in her mind perfectly reasonable that she continues to make use of the mainfloor living areas. (To the point of making her breakfast and leaving the mess for him to clean up. Sigh.)

The Kids didn't even blink that I now slept in their dad's bed when I'm there. Not a big deal to them at all. :) Mal's mom likes me and trusts him, but still thinks their relationship wouldn't be in the 'shape it's in' if they didn't have other partners. I agree with her. I think they'd already be divorced... but of course that's not what she means!

I went off the last of my SSRIs while I was out there, I've been weaning for almost a year. I feel ok about it, but a bit wobbly so I'm not sure it will stick. I might add a minimum dose back in if I feel like I can't handle it. (All with communication with my MD of course!)
 

nycindie

Active member
Made some big decisions about a new direction for my life (related to my work and home) and am now planning and working out the details. It's exciting and a bit scary, and I have a lot of work ahead of me, but it feels right. We'll see how my love life is affected by the major changes I am making, too!
 

A2Poly

New member
Drive by update:

Still here, and still good. Mal and Djinn are working on their divorce. It's a long time coming so while there is lots of grief about it there is also a certain peace.

Mal and I are doing good. Plans for him, I and the kids to do the quintessential summer road trip this summer are coming along nicely :)

Djinn and I are doing good too. Now that the divorce is something out in the open and being talked about we are back to being friends. Her new beau is lovely - I've only met him once, but they've been together for 6+m and and he treats her (and The Kids) right, so he's fine by me :)

I'm excited for the future, and looking forward to Mal having the time and emotional capacity to grow more solidly into his poly self now that he has discovered it and will be free to explore it.
 

itsxanderkaidyn

New member
I'm doing all right - I recently started voice lessons again after a three year hiatus, and I'm picking things back up more quickly than I'd thought I would.

And in the fall I'm hoping to start taking acting classes.
 

Valynn

Member
How am I doing?

In a nutshell ...surviving.

My only son went and enlisted into the Navy. And he shipped out to basic training out to Chicago on Dec 11th. So this is the first Holiday season I didn't spend some time with him.

AND IT IS HELL

I knew that I would be a 'young' empty-nester. But I didn't realize it would be this lonely. The good this is I went on a date the Friday after he shipped out. So at least I had something to distract my self with. And I did not go into going on this date thinking it was a distraction. I was excited, intrigued and hopeful that there might be something beginning. Fingers crossed!
 
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