OnceAndFuture
Member
Was it Oscar Wilde who said everything should be tried once? Don't try falling off a ladder. I've already done that on everyone's behalf now.
The "How Are You Doing" Thread (redux)
- Thread starter marksbabygirl
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Was it Oscar Wilde who said everything should be tried once? Don't try falling off a ladder. I've already done that on everyone's behalf now.
nycindie
Active member
I had an odd day today.
A guy asked me out this afternoon. He is someone who did a service call at my job today, and we were chit-chatting. He told me I have pretty eyes, then asked me if I had plans for Valentine's Day (nope), so then he said, "I'll take you out!" I thought he was cute and my body was responding positively to the flirting, so I said, "Okay." We exchanged cell #'s.
Then he tells me he's not sure he can do it this Sunday and it will depend on something he has to go out of state for on Saturday. So I said, "So, you're asking me out for Sunday but you're not really asking me out because you don't know if you can?" Ugh. So I said that if it can't happen this Sunday, it can be another. I don't give a fuck about Valentine's Day in the first place. So, it all ended on a cheerful note when he left and, for the rest of the day, I was a tiny bit giddy about getting asked out.
Then he texted me tonight and asked me what I was up to. I told him I was making myself dinner (a rare occurrence - I usually order in or go out to eat). He then texted "Nobody at home cooked?" I'm like, what? I told him when we were at my job that I'm divorced. Who the hell would be at home? So, I was wondering if he has kids or lives with his parents. He's probably in his 30s, and he's Hispanic, so maybe he's very attached to certain cultural traditions. I just thought that was a strange question. I answered, "I live alone like most grown-ups I know, LOL." So, he replies, "Maybe we can make dinner together someday."
Whoa, buddy, slow your roll.
I was about to text back something like, "I think you're getting ahead of yourself" and was trying to think of a joke about how seldom it is that I cook, when he sent another text... asking me to send him a picture of myself.
I wrote back, "Um, why?" I mean, it was just a few hours ago when we met. Why would I send a pic when we're going to have a date, presumably, in a couple of days? He answered, "Just to refresh my memory. We can trade if you like, but you can pass, no biggie." Oh gee whiz, thank you for giving me permission to say no. At that point, I am wondering what kind of pic he would've sent, but didn't really want to know. I said I'd rather not and told him, "I only just met you, so let's just see how things go the next time we meet, ok?" And then we said our goodnights and... he called me sweetie.
Now I'm feeling stupid for saying okay to going out. I think I should probably try to get out of this. He is a hottie but it's looking like we're on very different pages here. I suspect he's not well-versed in dating, at least not the way I date. Oy veh.
On another note, my promotion was made official today, so I'm really happy about that! My boss took me out to breakfast and we talked about it, strategies for some issues I'll have to handle, my responsibilities, and so on. I feel trusted and acknowledged. When my boss is in a good mood, it's really great.
A guy asked me out this afternoon. He is someone who did a service call at my job today, and we were chit-chatting. He told me I have pretty eyes, then asked me if I had plans for Valentine's Day (nope), so then he said, "I'll take you out!" I thought he was cute and my body was responding positively to the flirting, so I said, "Okay." We exchanged cell #'s.
Then he tells me he's not sure he can do it this Sunday and it will depend on something he has to go out of state for on Saturday. So I said, "So, you're asking me out for Sunday but you're not really asking me out because you don't know if you can?" Ugh. So I said that if it can't happen this Sunday, it can be another. I don't give a fuck about Valentine's Day in the first place. So, it all ended on a cheerful note when he left and, for the rest of the day, I was a tiny bit giddy about getting asked out.
Then he texted me tonight and asked me what I was up to. I told him I was making myself dinner (a rare occurrence - I usually order in or go out to eat). He then texted "Nobody at home cooked?" I'm like, what? I told him when we were at my job that I'm divorced. Who the hell would be at home? So, I was wondering if he has kids or lives with his parents. He's probably in his 30s, and he's Hispanic, so maybe he's very attached to certain cultural traditions. I just thought that was a strange question. I answered, "I live alone like most grown-ups I know, LOL." So, he replies, "Maybe we can make dinner together someday."
Whoa, buddy, slow your roll.
I was about to text back something like, "I think you're getting ahead of yourself" and was trying to think of a joke about how seldom it is that I cook, when he sent another text... asking me to send him a picture of myself.
I wrote back, "Um, why?" I mean, it was just a few hours ago when we met. Why would I send a pic when we're going to have a date, presumably, in a couple of days? He answered, "Just to refresh my memory. We can trade if you like, but you can pass, no biggie." Oh gee whiz, thank you for giving me permission to say no. At that point, I am wondering what kind of pic he would've sent, but didn't really want to know. I said I'd rather not and told him, "I only just met you, so let's just see how things go the next time we meet, ok?" And then we said our goodnights and... he called me sweetie.
Now I'm feeling stupid for saying okay to going out. I think I should probably try to get out of this. He is a hottie but it's looking like we're on very different pages here. I suspect he's not well-versed in dating, at least not the way I date. Oy veh.
On another note, my promotion was made official today, so I'm really happy about that! My boss took me out to breakfast and we talked about it, strategies for some issues I'll have to handle, my responsibilities, and so on. I feel trusted and acknowledged. When my boss is in a good mood, it's really great.
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nycindie
Active member
Nothing ever happened with the guy I wrote about in my previous post, who asked me out to a Valentine's Day dinner. Our convo had ended with my telling him to get in touch on Saturday to confirm Sunday, and his saying that he would. After that, however, I thought about how he seemed to be totally out of synch with me, so I decided not to go and that I would tell him on Saturday that I changed my mind.
It wound up that he never contacted me on Saturday. I really hadn't given it much thought until the late afternoon when it popped into my head that I should figure out how to turn him down. However, by the time the evening rolled around, I realized he had blown me off. I wasn't really mad, just puzzled and mildly irritated that I had wasted any brain power thinking about this at all because I was by then completely disinterested. On the whole, I gave it about ten minutes' thought, and then he wasn't even a blip on my radar screen. As I write this, I can't even remember his name! So, Saturday blew by, and then Sunday with no word from him.
But the odd thing is... he sent me a text on Wed. to say he was thinking about me. No reference at all to the fact that he had asked me out, promised to call, and then ghosted. It was like an overly friendly hello-how-are-you kind of text. Is this guy off his rocker or what? So weird.
- - - -
In other matters, my new position at work is going along swimmingly. I now have the authority to hire and fire. So, I put the feelers out with some people I know to find someone to replace the jackass that works there now, and found a gem of a guy.
About the current employee I'm replacing: his presence there has become quite caustic and exasperating to me. It's not just because I cannot stand him. Yes, he's creepy and the thought of him being in my space all day makes me cringe (we have to work pretty closely together in a near-claustrophobic environment), but if he did his job well, I could handle not liking him. However, he doesn't do his job well because he's stupid and stubborn. Plus, he speaks and acts very disrespectfully towards me.
The previous manager had confided in me once, after he blew up at me for no reason, that she had had about four conversations with this guy regarding his unprofessional conduct and disrespectful way of speaking (he's uneducated, crude, reactionary, and, as she put it, speaks like he's hanging out in the streets). He only started there recently, so to be there such a short time and be reprimanded and "spoken to" four times tells me he wasn't getting it. I mean, if I want to keep my job, you only have to tell me once.
Unfortunately, she never told my boss about those conversations because she felt she could handle him. She said that if it got worse, she would escalate it and clue my boss in. She wanted to exercise her autonomy as a manager first, and asked me not to divulge it to our boss. But, as it turned out, she quit soon after she told me all this. And so when I was promoted to take over her position, I went in knowing this guy was a problem AND knowing that my boss had not been informed about any of his bullshit. Also, one of my problems in my prior position was that some of the people who worked under me did not like how I managed them, and so they rebelled, and complained about my management style. So, I had to tread carefully because if he gave me any problems, it might look like a repeat of my previous issues. if anything came up, I couldn't say, "Ex-Mgr told me she'd spoken to him about this or that," or it would look like I was making excuses for not being able to manage him.
He and I did get off on the wrong foot during the first week of my trial period in the new position. We had a blow-up, and then I made lots of effort to try and appease him and get him on my side. I was trying to teach him about some aspects of the business and gave him tasks that would help him learn about it, because he'd told me he wanted to learn. But one day, my boss was there, saw that I'd given him a certain task to do, and scolded me for delegating that to him. I said I was only trying to foster a good working relationship with him, but in my boss's opinion, it was too complicated for him and something only I should be doing. Then, later that day, my boss mentioned how this guy's attitude sucked. This surprised me because I was under the impression that my boss had grown to be satisfied with this guy (although I know that my boss didn't like him at first).
A few days after that, my boss and I had our meeting where I was officially promoted (trial period over), and at some point I asked for more details on those comments regarding this guy. My boss talked to me about some issues that recently had cropped up and expressed being unhappy with his work. I was able to mention that Ex-Mgr had said she'd spoken to him a few times about behaving more professionally, which was good because it was just part of the general discussion of his problems, and not a defense of myself for anything. We discussed looking for a replacement. Then, earlier this week, this worker did something that took me by surprise, and again it was completely and utterly disrespectful of my position. I told my boss about it right away and the response was, "Well, it looks like you'll need to replace him sooner than we thought." My boss cannot stand any hint of insubordination towards a manager. So out on his ass he goes.
The guy I tried out today is a friend of a friend of a friend, and to have him there with me today was such a pleasant contrast to what I've been dealing with. One, he's professional; two, he's extremely intelligent and gets what it's all about; three, he's respectful; and four, he's got a good sense of humor. I told him I want him to start soon, he told me the same, and we picked a date. Then I fretted about how to let the jackass go, but my boss told me they will do it. I asked to be there as a learning experience, but really, I want to be present because I think that if i'm not there, he'll talk shit about me.
The best thing is I found someone who will be a wonderful addition to the company and I get to keep him.
It wound up that he never contacted me on Saturday. I really hadn't given it much thought until the late afternoon when it popped into my head that I should figure out how to turn him down. However, by the time the evening rolled around, I realized he had blown me off. I wasn't really mad, just puzzled and mildly irritated that I had wasted any brain power thinking about this at all because I was by then completely disinterested. On the whole, I gave it about ten minutes' thought, and then he wasn't even a blip on my radar screen. As I write this, I can't even remember his name! So, Saturday blew by, and then Sunday with no word from him.
But the odd thing is... he sent me a text on Wed. to say he was thinking about me. No reference at all to the fact that he had asked me out, promised to call, and then ghosted. It was like an overly friendly hello-how-are-you kind of text. Is this guy off his rocker or what? So weird.
- - - -
In other matters, my new position at work is going along swimmingly. I now have the authority to hire and fire. So, I put the feelers out with some people I know to find someone to replace the jackass that works there now, and found a gem of a guy.
About the current employee I'm replacing: his presence there has become quite caustic and exasperating to me. It's not just because I cannot stand him. Yes, he's creepy and the thought of him being in my space all day makes me cringe (we have to work pretty closely together in a near-claustrophobic environment), but if he did his job well, I could handle not liking him. However, he doesn't do his job well because he's stupid and stubborn. Plus, he speaks and acts very disrespectfully towards me.
The previous manager had confided in me once, after he blew up at me for no reason, that she had had about four conversations with this guy regarding his unprofessional conduct and disrespectful way of speaking (he's uneducated, crude, reactionary, and, as she put it, speaks like he's hanging out in the streets). He only started there recently, so to be there such a short time and be reprimanded and "spoken to" four times tells me he wasn't getting it. I mean, if I want to keep my job, you only have to tell me once.
Unfortunately, she never told my boss about those conversations because she felt she could handle him. She said that if it got worse, she would escalate it and clue my boss in. She wanted to exercise her autonomy as a manager first, and asked me not to divulge it to our boss. But, as it turned out, she quit soon after she told me all this. And so when I was promoted to take over her position, I went in knowing this guy was a problem AND knowing that my boss had not been informed about any of his bullshit. Also, one of my problems in my prior position was that some of the people who worked under me did not like how I managed them, and so they rebelled, and complained about my management style. So, I had to tread carefully because if he gave me any problems, it might look like a repeat of my previous issues. if anything came up, I couldn't say, "Ex-Mgr told me she'd spoken to him about this or that," or it would look like I was making excuses for not being able to manage him.
He and I did get off on the wrong foot during the first week of my trial period in the new position. We had a blow-up, and then I made lots of effort to try and appease him and get him on my side. I was trying to teach him about some aspects of the business and gave him tasks that would help him learn about it, because he'd told me he wanted to learn. But one day, my boss was there, saw that I'd given him a certain task to do, and scolded me for delegating that to him. I said I was only trying to foster a good working relationship with him, but in my boss's opinion, it was too complicated for him and something only I should be doing. Then, later that day, my boss mentioned how this guy's attitude sucked. This surprised me because I was under the impression that my boss had grown to be satisfied with this guy (although I know that my boss didn't like him at first).
A few days after that, my boss and I had our meeting where I was officially promoted (trial period over), and at some point I asked for more details on those comments regarding this guy. My boss talked to me about some issues that recently had cropped up and expressed being unhappy with his work. I was able to mention that Ex-Mgr had said she'd spoken to him a few times about behaving more professionally, which was good because it was just part of the general discussion of his problems, and not a defense of myself for anything. We discussed looking for a replacement. Then, earlier this week, this worker did something that took me by surprise, and again it was completely and utterly disrespectful of my position. I told my boss about it right away and the response was, "Well, it looks like you'll need to replace him sooner than we thought." My boss cannot stand any hint of insubordination towards a manager. So out on his ass he goes.
The guy I tried out today is a friend of a friend of a friend, and to have him there with me today was such a pleasant contrast to what I've been dealing with. One, he's professional; two, he's extremely intelligent and gets what it's all about; three, he's respectful; and four, he's got a good sense of humor. I told him I want him to start soon, he told me the same, and we picked a date. Then I fretted about how to let the jackass go, but my boss told me they will do it. I asked to be there as a learning experience, but really, I want to be present because I think that if i'm not there, he'll talk shit about me.
The best thing is I found someone who will be a wonderful addition to the company and I get to keep him.
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Hannahfluke
Member
I've had a migraine since Tuesday night, I've taken my medicine for it and it's lowered how much it hurts but hasn't made it go away. To make it even better, I noticed that I broke out in hives today, probably because of the migraine medicine, since I haven't done anything else that I don't normally do. This is the second time that I've taken a medicine for a while (I first got put on this migraine medicine last April, but I've only used it sporadically since then) and then developed an allergic reaction to it. Hives suck.
I'm pretty sure I also had a chat with my non-live in partner tonight that's going to lead to us breaking up.
So all-in-all, I feel like crap emotionally, physically, and mentally (the migraine makes me feel like my thoughts are moving through molasses). Hopefully the rest of the week is either better or goes by quickly. Not quite sure how I'm going to work Friday and Saturday for ten hours both days, but I have so little time off left that I don't have much of a choice.
I'm pretty sure I also had a chat with my non-live in partner tonight that's going to lead to us breaking up.
So all-in-all, I feel like crap emotionally, physically, and mentally (the migraine makes me feel like my thoughts are moving through molasses). Hopefully the rest of the week is either better or goes by quickly. Not quite sure how I'm going to work Friday and Saturday for ten hours both days, but I have so little time off left that I don't have much of a choice.
nycindie
Active member
Today's my day off and I will spend some time cleaning my apartment, doing laundry, etc.
On Monday, I fired the idiot who worked for me. As I said in my last post, my boss (the owner of the business) and I were planning on letting him go. It was supposed to happen later this week. That morning I told my boss about an incident that had occurred between him and me, about two months ago (before I was promoted to manager), and I let her know that the previous manager had "sworn me to secrecy" about it. I decided my boss should be told because he might bring it up in the process of getting axed. My boss said they were not surprised that the previous manager didn't want to tell them about the problems she had had with him, because every person that manager had hired didn't work out - and she desperately wanted to hold onto someone she had hired because she'd developed a complex about it. Even though he was a troublesome, belligerent, worthless employee, she was putting up with his shit so she could say she'd hired someone who stayed and worked out. Very faulty thinking!
So, on Monday, he had actually yelled something to me from across the room while I was interacting with customers. Afterwards, I said to him, "You should know by now that you can't interrupt me when I'm with a customer," and he went off on me. The idiot actually said, with an incredible amount of anger, "Get off my back! They're just customers. Who are they? They're not so important! I'm not a piece of shit. I can tell you something if I want."
So, there's an obvious reason I am referring to him as a jackass and idiot. He is uncouth and unprofessional in every way -- and is basically clueless.
I calmly responded, "The customers are why we're here. They come first. Besides, you don't yell across the room. You're not out in the streets. This is a place of business. But you know what? I'm tired of your mouth. You are done. You're done for the day and you're not coming back. You're fired."
He then refused to leave, wouldn't accept that I was firing him. I told him that he just gave me too many problems. He said the problem was me, not him, and that I couldn't fire him because it's not my business. Clearly, he had no clue what a manager can do. His energy was violent and I was a bit intimidated, but I held my ground and eventually he left. I was shaking - man, the adrenaline! I immediately called the owner of the business and explained what happened. The owner could hear it in my voice and said, "Are you okay? Calm down, take a breath." The whole experience sucked.
My new guy started yesterday and will be working tomorrow and Friday this week. He's... just... awesomesauce. Intelligent, well-spoken, presentable, fun. He wants a part-time job because he's writing a book. I can have a good conversation with him. That jackass I fired had zero wit or brains and I couldn't even talk to him. There was so much silence between us, it was deafening. I would use common words like "consolidate" and "replenish" and he would ask me what they meant. New guy and I had fun working together and he wants and likes the job. I won't be embarrassed in front of customers by his presence like I was with the jackass. Out with the old/bad, in with the new/good!
My boss told me yesterday that the jackass had sent a very long text and asked to meet with them this Friday. It doesn't matter, my boss is 100% behind my decision and will support it. My boss said they texted back to him that "sometimes personalities clash" and they didn't really think there was anything they could do, but they agreed to let him come and meet with them. He won't get his job back because he's a lousy worker, but also because letting him come back would weaken my position as manager and create a situation where he'd think he could manipulate things to get his way and usurp my authority. My boss would never do that. As a manager, I have some autonomy to make crucial decisions like this. My boss wanted to fire him almost immediately after he started, but stood behind the previous manager's decision to keep him, however ridiculous her reasoning was.
We have to handle things delicately, though. The jackass is good friends with the guy in his position at our other location. In fact, they're roommates. So we are not yet letting the other guy (who is a great worker) know I found a replacement already.
Lots of work drama but I am feeling good, though very tired, today!
On Monday, I fired the idiot who worked for me. As I said in my last post, my boss (the owner of the business) and I were planning on letting him go. It was supposed to happen later this week. That morning I told my boss about an incident that had occurred between him and me, about two months ago (before I was promoted to manager), and I let her know that the previous manager had "sworn me to secrecy" about it. I decided my boss should be told because he might bring it up in the process of getting axed. My boss said they were not surprised that the previous manager didn't want to tell them about the problems she had had with him, because every person that manager had hired didn't work out - and she desperately wanted to hold onto someone she had hired because she'd developed a complex about it. Even though he was a troublesome, belligerent, worthless employee, she was putting up with his shit so she could say she'd hired someone who stayed and worked out. Very faulty thinking!
So, on Monday, he had actually yelled something to me from across the room while I was interacting with customers. Afterwards, I said to him, "You should know by now that you can't interrupt me when I'm with a customer," and he went off on me. The idiot actually said, with an incredible amount of anger, "Get off my back! They're just customers. Who are they? They're not so important! I'm not a piece of shit. I can tell you something if I want."
So, there's an obvious reason I am referring to him as a jackass and idiot. He is uncouth and unprofessional in every way -- and is basically clueless.
I calmly responded, "The customers are why we're here. They come first. Besides, you don't yell across the room. You're not out in the streets. This is a place of business. But you know what? I'm tired of your mouth. You are done. You're done for the day and you're not coming back. You're fired."
He then refused to leave, wouldn't accept that I was firing him. I told him that he just gave me too many problems. He said the problem was me, not him, and that I couldn't fire him because it's not my business. Clearly, he had no clue what a manager can do. His energy was violent and I was a bit intimidated, but I held my ground and eventually he left. I was shaking - man, the adrenaline! I immediately called the owner of the business and explained what happened. The owner could hear it in my voice and said, "Are you okay? Calm down, take a breath." The whole experience sucked.
My new guy started yesterday and will be working tomorrow and Friday this week. He's... just... awesomesauce. Intelligent, well-spoken, presentable, fun. He wants a part-time job because he's writing a book. I can have a good conversation with him. That jackass I fired had zero wit or brains and I couldn't even talk to him. There was so much silence between us, it was deafening. I would use common words like "consolidate" and "replenish" and he would ask me what they meant. New guy and I had fun working together and he wants and likes the job. I won't be embarrassed in front of customers by his presence like I was with the jackass. Out with the old/bad, in with the new/good!
My boss told me yesterday that the jackass had sent a very long text and asked to meet with them this Friday. It doesn't matter, my boss is 100% behind my decision and will support it. My boss said they texted back to him that "sometimes personalities clash" and they didn't really think there was anything they could do, but they agreed to let him come and meet with them. He won't get his job back because he's a lousy worker, but also because letting him come back would weaken my position as manager and create a situation where he'd think he could manipulate things to get his way and usurp my authority. My boss would never do that. As a manager, I have some autonomy to make crucial decisions like this. My boss wanted to fire him almost immediately after he started, but stood behind the previous manager's decision to keep him, however ridiculous her reasoning was.
We have to handle things delicately, though. The jackass is good friends with the guy in his position at our other location. In fact, they're roommates. So we are not yet letting the other guy (who is a great worker) know I found a replacement already.
Lots of work drama but I am feeling good, though very tired, today!
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Well, my 7 month relationship with Hal ended two days ago. I'm afraid I made a scene in a restaurant. This idiot pursued me for a year, only to treat me casually once I was emotionally invested. Hal made big promises, he kept telling he was going to spend more time with me, be more flexible and available, but nothing ever changed. Everything was always on his terms, at his convenience, and, of course, anything resembling emotional support was put off as me being "needy." I broke up with him twice in the past two weeks, only to have him beg me to give him one more chance. Pretty sure the brutal dressing down I gave him in public the other night did the trick. He's blocked me on Facebook. I knew this man wasn't emotionally equipped for someone like me, who can be, shall we say, a little intense. Still fucking hurts.
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SNeacail
New member
Feels like I've been away forever
Work put big brother spyware on our computers, so I haven't spent as much time on here as before. Truth is once my marriage officially went poly, I haven't felt the need to be here as much - things are going good. My acceptance of a poly life still freaks my husband out a bit, not to mention his partner.
Work put big brother spyware on our computers, so I haven't spent as much time on here as before. Truth is once my marriage officially went poly, I haven't felt the need to be here as much - things are going good. My acceptance of a poly life still freaks my husband out a bit, not to mention his partner.
Glad you're still here SNeacail, and glad things are going well for you. Sorry about the spyware, that sucks!
I usually don't post on this thread because I'm almost always doing the same. Average. Same ol', same ol'. Varying levels of moderate anxiety (cause unknown, mostly internal) but for the most part content.
And my life isn't very eventful. Which is why I don't blog as often as I should.
I usually don't post on this thread because I'm almost always doing the same. Average. Same ol', same ol'. Varying levels of moderate anxiety (cause unknown, mostly internal) but for the most part content.
And my life isn't very eventful. Which is why I don't blog as often as I should.
A2Poly
New member
Jet plane day tomorrow. Off to see Mal in our 'half way' city. First I've seen him since Xmas. Can't wait, but am also super tired, and only 3 weeks off my ADs, so feel a bit out of sorts. Not the least because the ADs had an appetite suppression side effect, so I've gained a bazillion pounds since I stopped taking them :/ I know he won't care, but it still sucks because I wanted to wear a pretty dress to the concert we are going to, and none of them fit right now
JaneQSmythe
Well-known member
Life just keeps plugging along. Nothing new on the poly front - home life is stable with the boys.
I just had a birthday. SLeW made me my favorite cake and brought it to work.
Dude asked a few days ago what I wanted to do for our anniversary (5 years in a few days), my reply. "Nothing, I dunno, wanna have sex?"
Work is getting done on the "Old House" and, hopefully, it will be ready to put on the market in the next month or so.
I got the federal taxes done and have to do state and local this weekend. Also have to feed the snake and clean her tank.
I am off next week, but will spend it at the office catching up on 6 weeks of paperwork I have been procrastinating on. Blech. So I am taking today off to be lazy and catch up on here.
Me, Dude, and SLL are working on plans to attend Burning Man this year (tickets purchased, Yay!) We ordered bikes so SLeW and I can get me in shape to ride around - haven't been on a bike since college!
So...Life.
I just had a birthday. SLeW made me my favorite cake and brought it to work.
Dude asked a few days ago what I wanted to do for our anniversary (5 years in a few days), my reply. "Nothing, I dunno, wanna have sex?"
Work is getting done on the "Old House" and, hopefully, it will be ready to put on the market in the next month or so.
I got the federal taxes done and have to do state and local this weekend. Also have to feed the snake and clean her tank.
I am off next week, but will spend it at the office catching up on 6 weeks of paperwork I have been procrastinating on. Blech. So I am taking today off to be lazy and catch up on here.
Me, Dude, and SLL are working on plans to attend Burning Man this year (tickets purchased, Yay!) We ordered bikes so SLeW and I can get me in shape to ride around - haven't been on a bike since college!
So...Life.
nycindie
Active member
Wow, that's a major change! Is his other partner the woman he had a close friendship with while you two worked out whether to be poly or not?
A2Poly
New member
Trying to make plans to see Mal weekend after next. He was supposed to be doing professional development in the city where Billie lives, and I'll be there visiting her at the same time. But it's Djinn's company (that he sometimes works for) that was going to pay for the course, and she "went off the rails" and deregistered him. I have no idea if that's because he was going to see me, or some other derailing....
Idk. I'm tired (work is INSANE, this trip is my reward for the crazy hours I've been putting in), so I'm prone to over reaction, so I'm trying not to. It's only partly effective.
I offered to pay for the course. He really wants to do it. But he's not sure if he's comfortable with that. So ya. I have no idea were we are with all that right now. Im just tired and annoyed and tired. (Yup, I know I said that twice. Meant it. Both times.)
Idk. I'm tired (work is INSANE, this trip is my reward for the crazy hours I've been putting in), so I'm prone to over reaction, so I'm trying not to. It's only partly effective.
I offered to pay for the course. He really wants to do it. But he's not sure if he's comfortable with that. So ya. I have no idea were we are with all that right now. Im just tired and annoyed and tired. (Yup, I know I said that twice. Meant it. Both times.)
JaneQSmythe
Well-known member
The boys are out of town this weekend to go to a concert in the next state over so I have the house to myself (although I have to work).
I had a minor hissy-fit this AM and had to restrain myself from strangling Dude (although he did catch a few choice words). As I am, literally, stumbling out of the house, late, to get to a 7 AM meeting - I have been out of bed for, maybe 14 minutes and haven't had coffee yet (NOT a morning person, AT ALL) he asks if I need anything out of my usual car because they are taking it today and he wants me to take one of the others. WTF Dude!?! I hate change, I hate mornings, and you are asking me to THINK at the last fucking minute as I am already late!!!!? You couldn't have told me this last night when I was a.) awake and b.) could have taken 10 minutes to go through the car and grab what I needed?
Must. Not. Kill. Dude.
Whatever, in all the chaos I forgot my purse (in house, not car) - but had my phone. MrS left his sunglasses in the car I ended up taking (he didn't know they were taking my car either) - so either they stop on the way and get new ones OR he has a headache and takes it out on Dude.
OTOH, we went to a concert this week that was FREAKING FANTASTIC! I had such a good time! Me, Dude, MrS and Snake (friend of Dude's). Drinking and Dancing and Dinner. Flirting and Fun and Fantastic. I think that 3 tall furry men as an escort is my dream concert entourage - one for each side and one behind, and I can still see the stage without having to interact with >gasp< strangers. I had such an awesome time that I told MrS (the DD) that we can totally count that as my anniversary present (married 20 years next month - not that we do presents, BUT...)
I had a minor hissy-fit this AM and had to restrain myself from strangling Dude (although he did catch a few choice words). As I am, literally, stumbling out of the house, late, to get to a 7 AM meeting - I have been out of bed for, maybe 14 minutes and haven't had coffee yet (NOT a morning person, AT ALL) he asks if I need anything out of my usual car because they are taking it today and he wants me to take one of the others. WTF Dude!?! I hate change, I hate mornings, and you are asking me to THINK at the last fucking minute as I am already late!!!!? You couldn't have told me this last night when I was a.) awake and b.) could have taken 10 minutes to go through the car and grab what I needed?
Must. Not. Kill. Dude.
Whatever, in all the chaos I forgot my purse (in house, not car) - but had my phone. MrS left his sunglasses in the car I ended up taking (he didn't know they were taking my car either) - so either they stop on the way and get new ones OR he has a headache and takes it out on Dude
.OTOH, we went to a concert this week that was FREAKING FANTASTIC! I had such a good time! Me, Dude, MrS and Snake (friend of Dude's). Drinking and Dancing and Dinner. Flirting and Fun and Fantastic. I think that 3 tall furry men as an escort is my dream concert entourage - one for each side and one behind, and I can still see the stage without having to interact with >gasp< strangers. I had such an awesome time that I told MrS (the DD) that we can totally count that as my anniversary present
(married 20 years next month - not that we do presents, BUT...)I'm 4 months into a relationship with Mel, I'm totally crazy about her, we're talking about the possibility of living together, traveling together, etc.. I've had other girlfriends, but none that were candidates for the long term, except for one to whom I was, basically a "secondary" to her boyfriend. I did introduce that girlfriend to my parents, but just as a close friend. I'm getting serious enough about Mel that I'm going to have to "come out" to my mother. I did, years ago, tell my father I was bi, so maybe mom already knows. It's not like she'll freak out, she's no homophobe. I just feel bad because her mother and sister are Jehovah's Witnesses, very homophobic. I almost never talk to them, but my mother certainly does, and I know they'll give her shit for my choices. But I don't think I'm going to be able to keep it on the downlow much longer, Mel and I already checked in together on Facebook in quite a few instances, and soon my mother will ask me if I'm seeing anyone, and I don't want to lie. I'm surprised by how nervous I am about this.
nycindie
Active member
In a great mood right now! Tomorrow I start my vacay and I am looking forward to it very much. I also met a guy this week, through my work, and we were so obviously attracted to each other that other people noticed. We had two meetings and then were exchanging emails related to business. It was painfully clear to me that we were both trying to keep our interactions professional while totally digging each other. OMG, he is so fucking hot.
So, I took the initiative and sent him a message from my personal email account and just simply said I wanted him to have it. Not three minutes later, he wrote back to ask me out. See, I keep telling my women friends who insist on waiting for the man to make the first move, that all a guy needs is to get a clear communication that the woman wants him to make the move. This was proof positive and yet so many women still insist on playing coy games! Okay, end rant, LOL.
Anyway, we went out last night, had a couple beers, and fooled around a little bit. Oh yeah, we didn't go all teh way but we had a hell of a lot of fun! He said such complimentary things about my body, which made me feel fucking great. He thinks I am hot just as much as I think he is. We are both really turned on by each other - it's nice when two people get together and are totally the other's "type." I can't wait til I come back from vacation because he'll still be in town and we can finish what we started. He texted me: "Looking forward to Part 2." He's super smart, funny, and open-minded, too. He's an American who lives in Europe, but comes back to the states a few times a year, so it's kind of perfect for me... we shall see. Ooh-la-la!
I have to pack for my trip tonight, ugh! I waited til the last minute, as usual! Egad.
So, I took the initiative and sent him a message from my personal email account and just simply said I wanted him to have it. Not three minutes later, he wrote back to ask me out. See, I keep telling my women friends who insist on waiting for the man to make the first move, that all a guy needs is to get a clear communication that the woman wants him to make the move. This was proof positive and yet so many women still insist on playing coy games! Okay, end rant, LOL.
Anyway, we went out last night, had a couple beers, and fooled around a little bit. Oh yeah, we didn't go all teh way but we had a hell of a lot of fun! He said such complimentary things about my body, which made me feel fucking great. He thinks I am hot just as much as I think he is. We are both really turned on by each other - it's nice when two people get together and are totally the other's "type." I can't wait til I come back from vacation because he'll still be in town and we can finish what we started. He texted me: "Looking forward to Part 2." He's super smart, funny, and open-minded, too. He's an American who lives in Europe, but comes back to the states a few times a year, so it's kind of perfect for me... we shall see. Ooh-la-la!
I have to pack for my trip tonight, ugh! I waited til the last minute, as usual! Egad.
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A2Poly
New member
Just a drive by posting to say we are still here Mal and I are going well. We have weekly phone dates on our calendars now because we found we were taking contact for granted and it was slipping away (not lack of interest, lack of time and full trust that we'd be ok even with a gap). But important things shouldn't be assumed, so... scheduled phone dates we have lunch "together" once a week. And still text constantly, lol.
August is our 2 year anniversary (longest relationship of my life to date, go me!) and I'm hoping for a visit that weekend, but no firm plans yet.
Work is good. Billie's new living situation (city near Mal) is good, and has worked well because I get to see them both on any trip I make that way = seeing them each twice as often!)
Djinn and Mal seem to be working towards separation if not divorce. She tells me she doesn't consider us poly anymore. I'm just dating her separated husband. She's living in the basement suite, but is still upstairs a lot co-parenting etc. Idk. I get the wobbles worrying about it, so mostly I put it the box marked 'not my business' and work on enjoying my relationship with Mal.
Mal and I are going well. We have weekly phone dates on our calendars now because we found we were taking contact for granted and it was slipping away (not lack of interest, lack of time and full trust that we'd be ok even with a gap). But important things shouldn't be assumed, so... scheduled phone dates we have lunch "together" once a week. And still text constantly, lol.August is our 2 year anniversary (longest relationship of my life to date, go me!) and I'm hoping for a visit that weekend, but no firm plans yet.
Work is good. Billie's new living situation (city near Mal) is good, and has worked well because I get to see them both on any trip I make that way = seeing them each twice as often!)
Djinn and Mal seem to be working towards separation if not divorce. She tells me she doesn't consider us poly anymore. I'm just dating her separated husband. She's living in the basement suite, but is still upstairs a lot co-parenting etc. Idk. I get the wobbles worrying about it, so mostly I put it the box marked 'not my business' and work on enjoying my relationship with Mal.
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opalescent
Active member
Glow is home from a work related thing! Yay!
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