The "How Are You Doing" Thread (redux)

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Having a hard night.

It's Mal and Djinn's anniversary. So they are (obviously) doing anniversary things, which doesn't bother me (I'm actually happy for them), but I texted Mal 'Happy Anniversary' this morning, and I know he read it a few minutes later but didn't answer me, and hasn't talked to me since.

We text everyday, usually multiple times, but hardly anything yesterday, and nothing today. It feels... Odd. Unsettled. Especially when we don't have our next visit scheduled, and Djinn is still calling us FWB.

I'm probably over thinking, but after feeling quite sure of us for a while I'm suddenly worried again.
 
nycindie said:
Hmm... oh, I dont know. I'm not really anticipating and feeling all that excited about it. There is no intense, head-over-heels euphoria, nor thoughts that this is "wonderful." I do like him -- a lot -- find him attractive, and think it would be nice if it works out, but I am not attached to any specific outcome, other than hoping I'll get some sex soon. In fact, if nothing comes out of it, I'd probably say, "oh well, too bad," but I don't really care. I am pretty practical and don't feel intense NRE in the beginning stage of dating someone anymore. I hope something nice develops but I don't have any expectations. If it happens, it happens; if it doesn't, it doesn't, and I'll move on.
Click to expand...

That's a really good way to look at it, though, IMO. No expectations is very important.
 
Been an interesting couple of days for me....

Went to the Renaissance Festival today with a group of friends, including new fella. We had a wonderful time, of course. I didn't spend near as much money as I thought I would, mostly got beer and food all day.

Yesterday we had an interesting scenario in which, long story short, the original poly couple we got involved with came back around and spent the entire day attempting to repair our friendships (and made various requests and hints at trying things again). I THINK I'm handling it well, but could probably use some insight...I will likely expand in a blog post here shortly.

All in all I've stood my ground and expressed how I feel (because they finally asked). I'm good with repairing friendships if it's something they are willing to put the effort into. But they have to actually put in the effort.


All in all, maintaining a great deal of peace and productivity. My life feels pretty great right now.
 
thought I had made a new friend last week ... but then just been told im too needy .... ah well.
 
Just had a positive home pregnancy test... Waiting for Hubby to get out of the shower so we can buy a repeat test.

Freaking out! Happy-ish, but mostly freaking out!
 
AlwaysGrowing said:
Just had a positive home pregnancy test... Waiting for Hubby to get out of the shower so we can buy a repeat test.

Freaking out! Happy-ish, but mostly freaking out!
Click to expand...

Happy freaking!
 
It is so very strange to be going through the pain and stress of separating from my wife while at the same time seeing someone who seems to be crazy about me. My wife and I are both going to be moving out of our shared apartment, I'm changing one job for another, will be dealing with the fallout of separation and potentially moving in with this new person. Why can't the universe just give me things to deal with one at a time instead of stacking lots of important events on top of each other! :rolleyes:

AlwaysGrowing said:
Just had a positive home pregnancy test... Waiting for Hubby to get out of the shower so we can buy a repeat test.

Freaking out! Happy-ish, but mostly freaking out!
Click to expand...

Wow! I'm freaking out just imagining it. *Fan's face*.
 
I'm on holiday with some friends. Having an amazing time catching up with each other.

Today we ran into another old friend of mine - with his partner who I've never met. They seemed incredibly happy and in love. Wonderful to see people as happy as that.

I'm having such a love filled time. :)
 
Halcyeus said:
. . . potentially moving in with this new person.
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Oh, moving in together? Didn't you just start dating her? Maybe I'm thinking of the wrong person, but I thought this was a very new relationship for you. Regardless, why move in at this time when you have so much going on?
 
nycindie said:
Oh, moving in together? Didn't you just start dating her? Maybe I'm thinking of the wrong person, but I thought this was a very new relationship for you. Regardless, why move in at this time when you have so much going on?
Click to expand...

He and the STBXW seem to have the habit of jumping in with both feet..
 
Found out last night that an ex friend/new boys exfling has been spreading nasty rumors about new boy and I.

I honestly thought I would be more upset about it than I am, but she's really no threat. It's truly like a laughable level of jealousy. Until you realize, she's totally the type of person that would burn your house down.:confused:
 
Still no word from Mal and now Djinn has retracted my invitation to their house for a week in the summer saying it would be too upsetting to have me there because she is 'done with pretending' that she is ok or that she is the 'perfect poly partner' because she isn't either.

No idea what happened. I thought we were on the FWB track, and things were settled (enough).

I'm so upset about this. This wasn't a road I thought I'd ever walk. I only started down it because of her active encouragement.
 
I have so much to do today, in my apartment, but I am being very lazy and keep on procrastinating. It does look like a bomb exploded, so I need to get off this damn computer.

Thinking about emailing the guy I had a date with a couple days ago and letting him know I am looking forward to the next time. Not sure how eager I am, nor how eager I should let myself appear, but I do like him a lot.

Thinking about starting a blog about my non-monogamous, yet still rather uneventful, relationships. Not sure if I want it here or at a real blog site. Also not sure I have enough to write about.

Thinking about really pushing myself into more actively dating.

Feeling kind of blah today, but I think I just need to get involved in something constructive here to get my energy up.
 
Apparently Mal's lack of communication was technology related, not emotionally related. Djinn is having another episode of 'crazy brain', and neither he nor I know why. Not sure what we are going to do, but we are still a 'we'.
 
My crazy seems to be over. Feeling good right now.
 
A2Poly, I'm glad to hear that things were technology related. I do hope things improve soon with Djinn still really struggling.

JaneQ - Happy you're feeling better!

Nycindie - I bet there would be a lot of interest in a blog written by you, if you were interested. I appreciate hearing your unique perspective on relationships. :)
 
Talked to Cuba last night about the stuff that was bugging me, it always turns out better than expected. :)

It's always a great feeling when the person your interested in responds to the judgments and threats with "or WHAT??"
 
Update on my sitch with R. - we're on talking terms again and trying to reconnect as friends.

I still think the topic "relationships" is pretty much through for my life, in general, after this crash and burn (which is why I've kinda fallen inactive on here in the last couple of months... I don't really wanna "purely theorize" about poly on here).
 
Still hanging around. Djinn's crazy brain finally infected me, and I had a mini-meltdown. I can't believe how unstable I am, how up and down and sideways all the time. Mal is a constant source of support that I now can't imagine living my life without. But Djinn sends my world out of control over and over again.

I may not get to see Mal until late fall this year. Which will make 1/2 our relationship without seeing each other. I actually feel oddly calm about this. It will ease Djinn's fears, and I have no doubts about the ability of my and Mal's relationship to stand the distance in time and miles.
 
I've decided on an alias for the new guy with whom I went out on two dates: Berry. Not going to explain that one, but it makes sense to me.

Anyway, feeling good about Berry -- glad he contacted me on OKCupid, and glad we met. I like Berry a lot and it seems he likes me a lot, and we are both hot for each other, but we are also both very busy people! Our schedules might not mesh very well this summer. Looks like we probably won't be able to see each other for a few more weeks due to his work schedule and various commitments he's got, and my days being switched around at work a little bit, to cover my co-workers' vacations.

I told Berry not to stress about getting together, that it will happen when it happens and we should just enjoy whatever opportunities might come up, even if brief or infrequent. He said he appreciates my laid-back attitude about it. I would really like to jump his bones sooner rather than later, even though I was the one who turned down the offer to have sex with him on our second date, but what can I do about that now? It was the right decision that day.

I'd rather be chill about being able to hook up with Berry than all uptight if it doesn't happen. Life's too short. Plus I've got shit to do.
 
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