Warning: Vent about my moods.
Sometimes I don't feel like doing anything. Especially, concentrating on work. Which is fine, except when it's already been a week, it's not that much fun any more.
I had terribly anxious and tired two weeks, since I've had to put together my study plan for this year, which involves more lectures and exams (I'd much rather do "real" scientific work already, but I can't avoid the lectures before the state exam, and there's no point in putting them off), and also since I have to get up earlier then I was used to to visit those lectures and my sleep pattern doesn't shift easily. Towards getting up earlier, that is, no problem the other way round Add in the fourth week of my cycle, and it all culminated in pretty badly depressed state over the weekend. I just vent through the motions on Saturday (we had to go shopping with family), cried half the evening, then Sunday we had planned a shibari ws which I just barely didn't cancel, but didn't manage to enjoy for the most part anyway. Crying anytime I remember something sad. Yeah, I feel terrible still.
Shifting my day to earlier hours is also a complication to meeting Idealist, because he works with US people and prefers to work late afternoon or even into the night to meet them online. He's also not productive in the morning, so if he doesn't end before 8 pm and I have to go to sleep 10:30 - not much fun, no time to go to the club etc. Luckily he's flexible with his working hours, but I didn't really know how much sacrifice to his preferred working time he was/is making in giving me evenings. Anyway, not that much leeway at my side now, but we will try to schedule some shorter meetups for noon.
It's been just like - two weeks ago - when I felt really optimistic and confident about my ability to (learn to) manage my moods and improve my capacity to feeling happy. I felt good about managing my life. I actually made a decision to really care much more about feeling happy, and not dwell in the negatives. I started that "Positive change" thread. None of this is true now, in fact, I feel exceptionally worthless and not able to achieve goals. Well, if any of you have found methods to improve mood swings, please share.
If you feel compelled by the slightest, please do write here:
http://polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=79776
As pathetic as it sounds to ask for it, I do care if that thread gets going. Ehm.
Sometimes I don't feel like doing anything. Especially, concentrating on work. Which is fine, except when it's already been a week, it's not that much fun any more.
I had terribly anxious and tired two weeks, since I've had to put together my study plan for this year, which involves more lectures and exams (I'd much rather do "real" scientific work already, but I can't avoid the lectures before the state exam, and there's no point in putting them off), and also since I have to get up earlier then I was used to to visit those lectures and my sleep pattern doesn't shift easily. Towards getting up earlier, that is, no problem the other way round Add in the fourth week of my cycle, and it all culminated in pretty badly depressed state over the weekend. I just vent through the motions on Saturday (we had to go shopping with family), cried half the evening, then Sunday we had planned a shibari ws which I just barely didn't cancel, but didn't manage to enjoy for the most part anyway. Crying anytime I remember something sad. Yeah, I feel terrible still.
Shifting my day to earlier hours is also a complication to meeting Idealist, because he works with US people and prefers to work late afternoon or even into the night to meet them online. He's also not productive in the morning, so if he doesn't end before 8 pm and I have to go to sleep 10:30 - not much fun, no time to go to the club etc. Luckily he's flexible with his working hours, but I didn't really know how much sacrifice to his preferred working time he was/is making in giving me evenings. Anyway, not that much leeway at my side now, but we will try to schedule some shorter meetups for noon.
It's been just like - two weeks ago - when I felt really optimistic and confident about my ability to (learn to) manage my moods and improve my capacity to feeling happy. I felt good about managing my life. I actually made a decision to really care much more about feeling happy, and not dwell in the negatives. I started that "Positive change" thread. None of this is true now, in fact, I feel exceptionally worthless and not able to achieve goals. Well, if any of you have found methods to improve mood swings, please share.
If you feel compelled by the slightest, please do write here:
http://polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=79776
As pathetic as it sounds to ask for it, I do care if that thread gets going. Ehm.
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