to be in a Closed Trio Fluid bond or not ?

tomynikki

New member
Hey Guys,
Tomy and nikki here we have been in the poly relationship for the past 6 months and it is closed till now. Our relationship consists of me my wife nikki and her lover matt. nikki has sex with both of us and till now Matt was using condoms and as it is progressing Matt now wants to have sex without condoms which we both nikki and me are ok with but our concern is if both of us are clean and doesn't have other partners can we three have fluid bonding or is it a risk?
 
Test for all, then share the results. If one needs to test, all should.
 
The risk is very low, if you can trust everyone to not cheat and bring in unwanted infections!

I am in 2 relationships: one with my gf and one with my bf. My gf has her own bf. Both men do not date any others, and my gf and I can't have children, so none of the dyads need to use condoms. I generally wait, as you did, for a while to fluid bond. It takes trust that no one is going to cheat or even openly want to date any others.

If I were to want to date someone else, I'd have to think long and hard about it. I'd use condoms with them, of course. But condoms can break or slip off. If that happened, I would not only potentially be exposing my bf to infections, I'd also be exposing my gf and her bf to problems.
 
If y'all actually trust one another and your risk management opinions line up... nothing wrong with it.

I would be having barrier free sex with both my partners if they weren't required for pregnancy prevention at the moment. When pregnancy isn't a concern, condoms will go away again. We aren't CLOSED - we're all free to date if we want- but we agree on safety things (testing when new partners are possible, condoms with others, etc) and have never had issues.
 
Hello tomynikki,

It really boils down to a question of, Can you trust Matt? and will he limit himself to well, just Nikki? Of course, you also want him to get tested for STI's, actually this would be a good time for all three of you to get tested. If you have a closed situation where it's just you three, you might not have to worry about STI's.

Technically, all sex is a risk. It really comes down to whether/how much you can trust the person you are having sex with. Can you trust Matt?

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
That's something only you three can answer -- what is acceptable risk here? Have we all tested and found it is low enough to be fluid bonded across these 3? If any of the 3 starts seeing someone new -- then what? Back to condoms for all? What would be our agreements?

I encourage you to talk these kinds of things out. Ultimately each person is responsible for their own body.

Galagirl
 
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Thank you guys for the advices and based on it we all went through the testing and found all three clean and as nikki is in love with Matt and we trust him we have gone ahead and now they are fluid bonding.
This has increased a level of intimacy and trust between them and now willing to take the V relationship ahead.
 
Sounds like things are going well, I'm glad you are all able to fluid bond as a V.
 
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