Too New

Hi Tania,

I'm very sorry he went silent on you. You are not getting the closure you needed, he was supposed to tell you why. Now you are just going to have to carry on on your own, you will have to try to be emotionally available to someone in the future who treats you better. I'm sure you are wondering what you did wrong, but I don't think you did anything wrong. It was a combination of him putting too much on his plate, and him not having respect or empathy for you. I actually think you dodged a bullet, you don't want to end up with a guy who treats you that way. I know that's not how you feel right now, it will hurt for a long time.

Sympathetically,
Kevin T.
 
Thanks Kevin,
It feels reassuring from your words. As l pushed for more time which l didnt feel anywhere being needy, & prioritising time, consistency was a battle. Getting no action was a mental strain. Felt he let my polyamory experience down. Bullet dodged. I know l wont always feel this pain forever. Yes. Meeting someone who does rather than utter. Appreciate your kindness.
Tania
 
Yeah, he was all words and no actions. You deserve someone who will do more than just give you fair promises. Anyway, I'm glad if I could be of help.
 
kdt26417 said:
Yeah, he was all words and no actions. You deserve someone who will do more than just give you fair promises. Anyway, I'm glad if I could be of help.
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Thanks again. Apparently he was full of hot air. I still miss him. Perhaps l was addicted to the physicality. I deserve someone who is willing to show up & give me equal time.
 
I truly believe you will find the right person for you eventually. I understand he was perfect for you in every way, except for that one little thing. It's just that it wasn't so little.
 
kdt26417 said:
I truly believe you will find the right person for you eventually. I understand he was perfect for you in every way, except for that one little thing. It's just that it wasn't so little.
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The little thing was of great value to me. He didnt hold to majority of his words. Glad he wasnt polyamory finest example. I have to move forward however painful. Looking for hens teeth. I cant give up. You are most kind Kevin
 
Happy to help. He isn't really ready for polyamory, he needs to get his ducks in a row before he tries again, also he needs to learn to have respect and empathy for *all* of his partners.
 
Its been a journey. Hope to learn more about myself & how l can establish whats important to me, giving myself a stronger voice whether its in polyamory or monogamy. Thankyou Kevin
 
You're welcome. Don't be afraid to speak up for your wants and needs.
 
Indeed. This was the hardest lesson. Establishing my needs. Reading so many others who have established healthy poly fills me with optimism. Having many who love & adore you. Sounds wonderful. I know it comes with work.
love fits into real life, rather than usurping it. It’s calm, not overwhelming.
 
Yeah, this time you have a chance to look for someone who will respect your needs. Carry on and have patience.
 
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