Triad with two different relationship dynamics (D/s and vanilla)

[Kynde]

Sir is my Dom. I'm his sub. He's very good at the dynamics. We both like this. I feel very cherished and cared for. His wife is a very conventional vanilla-type wife, and they do not have these dynamics. He takes care of her very well, too, and she's happy. We all care for each other very much.

But, sitting down at dinner together, she serves dessert. I ask him if I can have dessert. (He always says yes, it's a formality and protocol.) She does not have to ask him, so she waits until he says yes to me before she eats, out of respect. It's all kinda crazy but beautiful at the same time. Does anyone else have a "mixed" dynamic family?

 

[kdt26417]

Hello BirdieMakes3,

It sounds like things are going well in your triad (technically an emotional triad, or a V). All three of you are getting what you want/need. I am in a V, we are pretty much vanilla. But we are all three unique, and are all getting what we want/need. Polyamory really flows when everyone's needs/abilities complement each other.

Regards,
Kevin T.

 

[Bobbi]

Sir is my Dom. I'm his sub. He's very good at the dynamics. We both like this. I feel very cherished and cared for. His wife is a very conventional vanilla-type wife, and they do not have these dynamics. He takes care of her very well, too, and she's happy. We all care for each other very much.

But sitting down at dinner together, she serves dessert. I ask him if I can have dessert. (He always says yes, it's a formality and protocol.) She does not have to ask him . So she waits until he says yes to me before she eats, out of respect. It's all kinda crazy, but beautiful at the same time. Does anyone else have a "mixed" dynamic family?

I love that everyone is happy and respectful of the different dynamics. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Magdlyn]

My female partner Pixi and I have an equal relationship. (We are kinky, but not D/s together.) Her bf Malachi is her Master. But I am equal with him. He doesn't get to decide things for Pixi that would affect me in any way.

My bf Aries and I are both switches, so we take turns topping each other. Again, this does not affect Pixi in any way.

I haven't noticed that any of our couple dynamics make a difference at the dinner table when we're together lol

 

[MeeraReed]

OP, you technically have a Vee, not a Triad, since you and the wife are not involved with each other.

But I can see how the term triad makes sense for the family and life you are building with the three of you.

Personally, I would not enjoy a dynamic where I watched/witnessed my partner's kink dynamic with their other partner at the dinner table. I would find it very awkward. But if you all don't mind, that sounds fine!

You may want to create nicknames for your partner and his wife, to make it easier to talk about them here.

 

[Kynde]

OP, you technically have a Vee, not a Triad, since you and the wife are not involved with each other.

But I can see how the term triad makes sense for the family and life you are building with the three of you.

Personally, I would not enjoy a dynamic where I watched/witnessed my partner's kink dynamic with their other partner at the dinner table. I would find it very awkward. But if you all don't mind, that sounds fine!

You may want to create nicknames for your partner and his wife, to make it easier to talk about them here.

Yes I see your point about the term Triad-- I guess because wife and I are becoming very close friends, it's more than a V, but since wife and I are not sexual . . . anyway it all flows nicely.

 

[Kynde]

My female partner Pixi and I have an equal relationship. (We are kinky, but not D/s together.) Her bf Malachi is her Master. But I am equal with him. He doesn't get to decide things for Pixi that would affect me in any way.

My bf Aries and I are both switches, so we take turns topping each other. Again, this does not affect Pixi in any way.

I haven't noticed that any of our couple dynamics make a difference at the dinner table when we're together lol

I love how you all have worked out your dynamics! It takes quite a bit of people skills and respect to be successful in this way of life.