KessTheCatMage
New member
Hi, this is my first time posting and I am new to actual poloamory terms so if get something wrong I apologize.
I am woman in a V relationship with my husband, who I married T in 2018, and my girlfriend. This started in December of 2020 when I became involved in a sexual relationship with a close friend that evolved into a deeper relationship. K became my girlfriend with my husband's agreement. All three of us live together and its amazing most of the time. We all get along and we do a lot together the three of us, me with either of them and them without me.
K is free to see other people when/if she is ready/wants to but is currently trying to get her mental health under control. T has very high functioning aspergers and has been my partner since 2015.
The problem is with sex. I am the hinge and I often feel intensly guilty when I am with one or the other. I often feel I am having to choose between them. They are both very supportive and neither does or says anything that makes me feel guily. However, my job adds the most income to the household and I am the one in charge of keeping track if the finances for myself and my husband. So I am often very stressed and deal with both anxiety and depression as well.
This Sex Guilt Issue has led to some mental health issues and forced me to put both relationships on a break while I try to figure out what to do. My therapist and my mom both keep telling me I need to choose one over the other and break up with my girlfriend even though I love them both deeply.
I am really struggling to figure out what to do and how I can make this work because I really don't want to lose either of them. Has anyone had similar feelings or issues? How did you handle this?
I could use any advice anyone has to offer. Thanks in advance for reading and for any advice.
I am woman in a V relationship with my husband, who I married T in 2018, and my girlfriend. This started in December of 2020 when I became involved in a sexual relationship with a close friend that evolved into a deeper relationship. K became my girlfriend with my husband's agreement. All three of us live together and its amazing most of the time. We all get along and we do a lot together the three of us, me with either of them and them without me.
K is free to see other people when/if she is ready/wants to but is currently trying to get her mental health under control. T has very high functioning aspergers and has been my partner since 2015.
The problem is with sex. I am the hinge and I often feel intensly guilty when I am with one or the other. I often feel I am having to choose between them. They are both very supportive and neither does or says anything that makes me feel guily. However, my job adds the most income to the household and I am the one in charge of keeping track if the finances for myself and my husband. So I am often very stressed and deal with both anxiety and depression as well.
This Sex Guilt Issue has led to some mental health issues and forced me to put both relationships on a break while I try to figure out what to do. My therapist and my mom both keep telling me I need to choose one over the other and break up with my girlfriend even though I love them both deeply.
I am really struggling to figure out what to do and how I can make this work because I really don't want to lose either of them. Has anyone had similar feelings or issues? How did you handle this?
I could use any advice anyone has to offer. Thanks in advance for reading and for any advice.