Wanting to get into polygamy

C

cate <3

New member
Hi there!

I'm new on this site and I'm hoping to reach some people willing to give some advice to a polygamous beginner. :)

I've never been in a polyamorous relationship, but I believe it's exactly what I've been looking for. However, I don't really know where to start. Any recommendations on how to meet like-minded people in real life, or any dating websites to meet others who are looking for the same thing? The only sites I've found have been with a paying membership and I'm not really willing to sign in onto some random site.

Thanks to those who might be able to help me!
 
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Fetlife is really good for advertising local events and there's often poly ones, not just kinky ones. Depends where you are. And if it doesn't exist, you can just make it! Free to sign up.

There are often Facebook groups, too.
 
Hello cate <3,

You might want to google "polyamory" with the name of your state, or nearest major city. There may be a poly group or two local to you. Poly is still very new in our world, sometimes you have to be the one to get out there and introduce it to others! In the meantime, keep reading and posting on this forum, there's a lot to learn.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
When approaching dating prospects, remember to use the term polyamory, not polygamy. Polygamy (marrying multiple people) is illegal in the West. It has bad connotations of fundamentalist Mormons, and child "brides"/abuse.

Polyamory is a newer movement.

You can also use the term ethical non-monogamy. It's an umbrella term that covers polyamory, swinging, and casual sex.

I know this wasn't your question, but before jumping into dating, have you read anything about polyamory? For example, there is the book Opening Up. You need to understand the ins and outs of poly before you start to juggle multiple partners and expect it to not all explode.
 
There are several apps that are geared toward non-monogamous relationships and connections. Feeld. Threefun. Pure. Of course take all of them with both an open-mind and a high level of self-protection, because like every dating app, the relative anonymity and sheer amount of users make them a necessarily risky space. (Know the risks. Proceed with maturity. I've never felt unsafe meeting someone in real life that I originally met on an app because there are also a very high level of completely normal and safe people out there...)

All that said, you might also start tuning in to some podcasts. There's a pretty big wealth of info out there right now and my partner and I found that podcasts felt the most "real time" and "real people" of the spaces in which we could be educated. I'm not super into any right now, but once upon a time I was into "Normalizing Non Monogamy" and "Monogamish" (I think that's what it was called). Dan Savage is another good one for entertainment AND education in all things sexual and open-minded. I also don't completely hate "Sex with Emily" (though she gets a little repetitive in her subject matter).

Tons of books out there, obviously, but like, for me, podcasts were this space where I got to really HEAR the real life ins and outs. And when you can feel connected to someone through their voice and realize they are a totally REAL person doing what you want to do? It lands differently.
 
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