What does your poly look like?

C

CoriBee

New member
Hey guys. I’m curious about everyone’s poly styles/preferences. I’ve learned that while there is a generalized format, there’s always more to each story. So, what does YOUR poly look like?

For us, I’d say I’m more ENM leaning, and partner is, too. When we met, though, he had an established thing with the couple he still sees. I’ve deemed it poly-lite since he kinda fell into poly by accident and I’m not actively seeking.

So, for us, it looks like me and Partner, then Partner and Couple. When we are all together for quality time it is couple and Couple. There is no intimate crossover with myself and his other partners and I made sure to establish this boundary early on. It was far too complicated in the emotions department for me and still feels like it would be, so there it will always stay. Partner and I are creating a life and home together, while Partner and Couple have an established dating relationship, care, love, but will not be moving their relationship past what it already is.

I’d love to hear others’ stories if and when you all have time ❤️
 
Hello Cori,

I am in an MFM V, the three of us live together in a house. None of us have any other partners, and we're not looking but that doesn't mean it couldn't happen.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
I'm in a state of flux right now as my (f) two partners (m) are endeavouring to move to where I live. I used to live with my husband but moved for work. My US partner is trying to find work here to emigrate. He'll bring his wife, but I don't believe her partner or any of his other people are going to join them.

So, sometime next year, all going to plan, we'll mostly be an N shape made of two couples, with two houses, but I'll be a hinge and he'll be a hinge. We're the "middle" couple who don't live together. The zigzag may grow as our spouses meet new people. There may be some stars develop in there in time, too, if someone ends up with more than two partners.

I like garden party poly myself, but I've always been rather parallel with my US based metamours because of circumstances but I hope this will change.
 
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Evie said:
I'm in a state of flux right now as my (f) two partners (m) are endeavouring to move to where I live. I used to live with my husband but moved for work. My US partner is trying to find work here to emigrate. He'll bring his wife, but I don't believe her partner or any of his other people are going to join them.

So, sometime next year, all going to plan, we'll mostly be an N shape made two couples, with two houses, but I'll be a hinge and he'll be a hinge. The zigzag may grow as our spouses meet new people. There may be some stars develop in there in time, too, if someone ends up with more than two partners.

I like garden party poly myself, but I've always been rather parallel with my US based metamour because of circumstances but I hope this will change.
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I’m still learning lingo, and just finished working out so my brain isn’t very good at thinking at the moment. What are stars in this context? That’s a new one for me, and could you also further explain garden party? My guess is it means everyone is friendly and happy to share space together sometimes, but not all are romantically involved? I do like the term, whatever it means. It sounds friendly and pleasant
 
Yep, garden party is just that. Will share space (platonically).

Stars would be when someone has more than two partners, so the V ends up with extra lines coming off the hinge, like Y or X.
 
My poly network is in my sig. I live in one house, my gf's bf lives in another, and she goes back and forth, spending equal time with both. When she's not here, my bf comes over. His other gf lives over an hour away from where we are and he sees her a few times a month, but doesn't do overnights with her because of her living situation with her husband and their adult child. Aries lives with family (brother, cousins, aunt), has never been married, no kids. Malachi lives alone (besides Pixi) has never been married, no kids. Pixi has never been married, no kids. I've been married, have 3 kids and 6 grandkids. lol

We also practice garden-party polyamory, although I haven't met Arie's gf Sadie.
 
Only a few months into really living the reality after a lifetime of uncomfortable monogamy, but so far it’s been a dream come true.

I met my gf on the app Feeld. She and her husband live the next town over and the three of us spend most evenings of the week together at their house, just unwinding in quiet comfort.

There’s plenty of sex talk - the Venn diagram of ENM and kink is more or less a circle - but we’re into this kinda stuff cuz we’re all looking for family and community and “our people.”

I’m lucky my “metamour” (I hate that word) is such a rad human being, because that’s all luck. I’m something of a relationship anarchist right now and was only hoping to be civil and respectful, but I couldn’t be happier with our “kitchen table” setup.
 
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MFM vee, garden party parallel for the partners, kitchen table for the kids.

I have three adult kids with Woof and one “tween” kid with Mitch. The adult kids have one partner each (the six of them are an intentional friend group), so we make a party of ten when we are lucky enough to all be together.

I nested with Woof for 25ish years, Mitch for 10+, with five of those overlapping 60/40. I was legally married to Woof for 17 years, but we got divorced to avoid presumption of paternity, among other presumptions.

I expect to grow old alongside both Mitch and Woof, but in three separate residences, within walking distance. We all like to live our own ways, and we know how to share space when we want to.

We aren’t closed, just busy/lazy/saturated/picky. If any of us feels interest or falls into love elsewhere, we feel free to pursue that, but it’s been rare.

That’s what my lowkey, settled-in poly life looks like. *yawn*
 
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