what has polya taught you

E

ElMango

Member
My main question(s) is/are;

-What has polya taught you?
-What is it currently teaching you?
-What do you think it will teach you?


What has polya taught you?

It's taught me to analyze where/why my jealousy is coming from and how to deal with it, that I am not abnormal for being able and wanting to love more than one person at once, much better time management, helping my introvert ass meet new people, letting me finally close the open book on my first ex whom we always carried a connection and attraction; we were FWB, now we're just friends. It was cathartic for both of u s to get it out of our systems.

What is it currently teaching you?

Disentanglement; I struggle to find the balance of boundaries still

What do you think it will teach you?

I hope it will /help/ me get to the point where I can very easily process and then let go or irrational jealousy/insecurity
 
It's taught me that the actual things that are going to bug me I just don't see coming. Like Adam making his gf a coffee in MY cup that was just given to me by someone else. It's also taught me to put myself first or else I'm not going to be hale enough to support multiple relationships.

It's currently teaching me that there are still people out there to meet with whom I'm going to find a really awesome connection.

I think it will teach me that I am still courageous.
 
What has polya taught you?

I’ve learned that even the best of romantic partners don’t always make compatible housemates, that this is a model of building family and friendships and cultivating romantic relationships that really works for me, and to keep a firm hold on my individuality in every relationship.

What is it currently teaching you?

There is no such thing as ‘happily ever after’, just facing life’s challenges with a different cast of characters. But also, with the right cast of characters, life’s challenges are surmountable and all of the ancillary hanging out is divine!

What do you think it will teach you?

How to stay grounded and cultivate my best self while balancing the needs, desires, and interests of two intimate life partners!
 
I'm having one of those days where I just feel like having no filter.

Maybe it's the people in my area... but the ones that use "polya" versus "poly" seem to be a specific kind of person so I have learned to avoid them. Does that count?

I could (and most of the time would) be willing to have a nice long conversation about that... but I'm just tired of it all right now.
 
Vicki82 said:
I'm having one of those days where I just feel like having no filter.

Maybe it's the people in my area... but the ones that use "polya" versus "poly" seem to be a specific kind of person so I have learned to avoid them. Does that count?

I could (and most of the time would) be willing to have a nice long conversation about that... but I'm just tired of it all right now.
Click to expand...

Vicki, I've never even heard the term polya. Pol-ya, is how it reads in my head. Ack! "I'm gonna take a poll of you people. I'm gonna pol ya!"

I don't accept this abbreviation! I'll take polyamory, poly, even polyamoury for fancee people. But not polya.
 
I suppose what I've learned most of all is that there is not one right way to do poly. Quite the contrary, there's as many possible right ways to do it as there are unique individuals living it. Yes, even the dreaded "unicorn triad" can work given the right combination of people.
 
I'm going to have a crack at this despite being 'new'. :p

What has polya taught you?

That there's a whole new world out there and you don't have to conform to societal norms and expectations in order to be happy.

What is it currently teaching you?

That it's complex and although the road ahead might not be smooth, the end-result could be hugely rewarding.

What do you think it will teach you?

That the rumours are true! It is possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time.
 
“Polya”

So...it’s not just a textual abbreviation? Does it have a pronunciation? A nuanced definition? Zealous adherents? A secret handshake?

Has polya taught me anything, if I don’t know what polya is?
 
SlowPoly said:
So...it’s not just a textual abbreviation? Does it have a pronunciation? A nuanced definition? Zealous adherents? A secret handshake?

Has polya taught me anything, if I don’t know what polya is?
Click to expand...

I think it came about because of some (possibly imagined) issues regarding Polynesian peoples and poly as in polyamory being <cough> culturally insensitive. However, calling Pasifika people Poly(nesian) went out of date somewhere in the 90s and now even Pasifika is becoming passé as the different cultural identifies between Pacific Island nations and protectorates become more widely appreciated.
 
I appreciate that we've started a separate thread to discuss "polya," because that abbreviation also bothers me...but I like ElMango's original question very much.

What has polyamory taught me? That it is actually possible for me to date, period.

That love, romance, and even serious/committed/long-term/life-partnership relationships are also possible for me, and I don't have to compromise my values or give up parts of myself.

Before discovering polyamory (and specifically solo poly), I was told (by people I loved) that I what I wanted could never be a "real relationship" and that "no one would want a girlfriend like me."

So, what I discovered is that those people were wrong :) and I can actually live my life on my terms and STILL have love and relationships.
 
Poly has taught me a lot about jealousy, specifically that ownership mentality I used to have. It's also taught me to be more okay with the unconventional.

That's probably all I'm going to get out of it as far as life altering epiphanies go.
 
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