StrugglingAs3rd
New member
Hello and thank you for any advice to offer. This is a long story but I will try my best to make it concise. I was asked by a married couple to be their third. My understanding is the relationship was to be a triad. I am new to the scene so this was my first couple, Jennifer and George I will call them. I had almost no experience with women but knew this was the right situation for me.
From the beginning there were rules that I was only allowed to have intimacy with the couple, together. I learned later that George had been engaged in a secret affair, less than a year prior. Jennifer had trust issues. I felt I was at the mercy of their boundaries, so I agreed to what made them comfortable.
Feelings grew, there were words of love exchanged. I was committed to them, as I thought they were to me. Then it was discovered George was still having affairs. Jennifer had a hard time dealing with this, pushing me aside for some time. I was angry but willing to forgive. They agreed to seek counseling. However Jennifer's jealousy grew and she no longer wanted to me involved intimately. George however also started growing jealous, as he started to feel I was becoming "competition" of some sort because his wife enjoyed herself with me when we were intimate. I was asked to step aside for a month, to let them work out their issues. I was asked to remain committed, without any sort of physical relationship. I was willing to do this because of my feelings.
Then it turned out George was caught lying AGAIN - he lied that he had given up drinking and had addressed his alcohol issue. I told him I can't be in a relationship with someone who is continuously dishonest. A day later we all spoke on the phone, they had engaged in some discussion and I knew that for the best, we should part ways. We agreed to stay friendly and in contact. Once the call ended, he told Jennifer he never really cared about me. Two days later I received a text from George stating they missed me. Jennifer came to my defense, as to why the mixed messages. He then forbade her to contact me. She asked me to stop contact until she could work out issues in her marriage more or less. I agreed out of respect. Later that day she started texting me. And the following day. George started checking phone records, wanting to know what was going on. He and I appeared to be getting different stories from Jennifer. I confronted them both, asking why they were putting me in the middle of all of this nonsense.
This morning there was a Facebook post, insinuating that last night, they were with a different person. I was told I could not be intimate because Jennifer felt jealous and George was jealous and disinterested. I am heartbroken and dumbfounded. I lavished them with gifts, constantly thinking of them and making time in my work schedule that fit their lifestyle. I never asked them for anything. They have said over and over that I never caused them any problems. Yet I told them I didn't deserve to deal with whatever was going on between them and being punished for it. Jennifer doesn't want to speak to me anymore and I dare not call.
Should I just let them be? I love them dearly however it appears there are way too many issues going on....
From the beginning there were rules that I was only allowed to have intimacy with the couple, together. I learned later that George had been engaged in a secret affair, less than a year prior. Jennifer had trust issues. I felt I was at the mercy of their boundaries, so I agreed to what made them comfortable.
Feelings grew, there were words of love exchanged. I was committed to them, as I thought they were to me. Then it was discovered George was still having affairs. Jennifer had a hard time dealing with this, pushing me aside for some time. I was angry but willing to forgive. They agreed to seek counseling. However Jennifer's jealousy grew and she no longer wanted to me involved intimately. George however also started growing jealous, as he started to feel I was becoming "competition" of some sort because his wife enjoyed herself with me when we were intimate. I was asked to step aside for a month, to let them work out their issues. I was asked to remain committed, without any sort of physical relationship. I was willing to do this because of my feelings.
Then it turned out George was caught lying AGAIN - he lied that he had given up drinking and had addressed his alcohol issue. I told him I can't be in a relationship with someone who is continuously dishonest. A day later we all spoke on the phone, they had engaged in some discussion and I knew that for the best, we should part ways. We agreed to stay friendly and in contact. Once the call ended, he told Jennifer he never really cared about me. Two days later I received a text from George stating they missed me. Jennifer came to my defense, as to why the mixed messages. He then forbade her to contact me. She asked me to stop contact until she could work out issues in her marriage more or less. I agreed out of respect. Later that day she started texting me. And the following day. George started checking phone records, wanting to know what was going on. He and I appeared to be getting different stories from Jennifer. I confronted them both, asking why they were putting me in the middle of all of this nonsense.
This morning there was a Facebook post, insinuating that last night, they were with a different person. I was told I could not be intimate because Jennifer felt jealous and George was jealous and disinterested. I am heartbroken and dumbfounded. I lavished them with gifts, constantly thinking of them and making time in my work schedule that fit their lifestyle. I never asked them for anything. They have said over and over that I never caused them any problems. Yet I told them I didn't deserve to deal with whatever was going on between them and being punished for it. Jennifer doesn't want to speak to me anymore and I dare not call.
Should I just let them be? I love them dearly however it appears there are way too many issues going on....
