Four more things:
1. I posted earlier without having read Gala's second message. Wanted to say that actually my penis curve COULD be part of the issue in question (although it was actually just one example of many many times she has done a thing with someone that I wanted to do), so that was an oddly specific example that turned out to be very helpful.
2. The love languages thing is a concept I am familiar with and may also be a factor. My love language is touch, and hers is words of affirmation. I forgot to analyze our interaction through that lens, so the reminder is helpful. For sure it is the case that I am getting a lot more upset because this issue involves physical intimacy, and that probably doesn't make sense to her at all. And it's also possible that my words have upset her a lot more than I would expect.
3. She never agreed to the request. She mainly ignored it, then told me that she already felt like she'd given me plenty of empathy. She does this Wile E. Coyote thing where once she tries something once, she can never do it again even if it might actually work the second time. So basically she gave me some empathy once like 2 years ago, and is now loathe to do it again.
4. Since a number of people have expressed confusion about how I saw pictures of her and her other partner having sex, perhaps I should explain. We both belong to Fetlife.
In case you're not familiar, that's a kink site, kind of like facebook for kinky folk. People routinely post pictures of themselves doing sexy / kinky things. There's forums, etc. And a feed, where random images of my partner pop up sometimes. I tried "unfollowing" her before, but I would still see things without wanting to through mutual friends. I have decided to create a sock account so that I can still participate in the forums without having to be exposed to her photos.
1. I posted earlier without having read Gala's second message. Wanted to say that actually my penis curve COULD be part of the issue in question (although it was actually just one example of many many times she has done a thing with someone that I wanted to do), so that was an oddly specific example that turned out to be very helpful.
2. The love languages thing is a concept I am familiar with and may also be a factor. My love language is touch, and hers is words of affirmation. I forgot to analyze our interaction through that lens, so the reminder is helpful. For sure it is the case that I am getting a lot more upset because this issue involves physical intimacy, and that probably doesn't make sense to her at all. And it's also possible that my words have upset her a lot more than I would expect.
3. She never agreed to the request. She mainly ignored it, then told me that she already felt like she'd given me plenty of empathy. She does this Wile E. Coyote thing where once she tries something once, she can never do it again even if it might actually work the second time. So basically she gave me some empathy once like 2 years ago, and is now loathe to do it again.
4. Since a number of people have expressed confusion about how I saw pictures of her and her other partner having sex, perhaps I should explain. We both belong to Fetlife.
In case you're not familiar, that's a kink site, kind of like facebook for kinky folk. People routinely post pictures of themselves doing sexy / kinky things. There's forums, etc. And a feed, where random images of my partner pop up sometimes. I tried "unfollowing" her before, but I would still see things without wanting to through mutual friends. I have decided to create a sock account so that I can still participate in the forums without having to be exposed to her photos.