Shwiftyfox
New member
Hey! So my best friend and I of four years have finally decided to be together. We’ve talked about it a couple times, but we wanted to work on ourselves in our lives and didn’t feel like we were ready for relationships. We have lived together for a couple years now, and have been business partners for about just as long. My BF has introduced me to his ex before, and we became friends and stayed in touch on and off for the last few years as well.
When we started speaking of being poly she was always the one who would speak about which is why we tried to stay in contact. The problem is even though we have known of each other there still isn’t really any friendship between us, hence my post. I have honestly contisously tried and even communicated that I need us to get to know each other. I’m more pansexual then bisexual, I need an emotional connection, I come from a emotionally neglected childhood which is why poly is so appealing to me to have a family of people who picked me to love them. However she isn’t trying to talk to me or if we do talk it always goes back to her, it’s never getting to know me because I’m the only one asking questions or texting first.
This issue though is getting into the relationship between me and my BF, he thinks it’s because I don’t like her or I mite not like girls but we’ve had sex all 3 of us and I was into it, honestly never felt more connected to him. Now though he is saying he will have to get his own apartment and we will live separately, but how is that a happy situation.
Now to explain a little bit why her and I aren’t clicking in person either is our personalities are very different. I’m incredibly ambitious and hard working, I’ve never worked less than 40 hours a week. I have dreams and I have goals. I am a patient parent who likes to hear their kids talk about how they’re feeling I try not to yell I am a healer. I’m actively trying to heal myself and to make sure my kids are healthy and happy at the same time. She is not like me. She does not have a job. She is hesitating to go back to school to finish her hours for nail tech. Oh I feel like the only reason she even knows how many hours she has just because I’ve asked her multiple times if she’s going back. Whenever we talk on the phone all she does is yell at her kids and then when we’re together she just never looks happy I’m not gonna lie. We like to watch a lot of cartoons. A lot of anime and a lot of subtitles shows she’s more of a reality TV show person I’m trying to find things that were relatable, even the shows we do like she just doesn’t even want to talk about them. She’s quick to talk to our boyfriend and to respond to him with me it’s a couple hours between replies.
I do believe she is just there for him to kind of save her from her situation, but if she can’t connect with me or won’t connect with me, how is our relationship between all of us going to work? And I am cool with him being poly V but I want to be a nesting partner. How do I communicate with him and her? Or do I just let him have her and start another relationship or do I just walk away from both? He makes me so happy and I do love him with all of me. I have complete faith in him. I have complete trust in him. I don’t want to leave him but I also don’t want to make him unhappy if he really wants to be with her. It’s been eight years for them on and off and only four with us.
When we started speaking of being poly she was always the one who would speak about which is why we tried to stay in contact. The problem is even though we have known of each other there still isn’t really any friendship between us, hence my post. I have honestly contisously tried and even communicated that I need us to get to know each other. I’m more pansexual then bisexual, I need an emotional connection, I come from a emotionally neglected childhood which is why poly is so appealing to me to have a family of people who picked me to love them. However she isn’t trying to talk to me or if we do talk it always goes back to her, it’s never getting to know me because I’m the only one asking questions or texting first.
This issue though is getting into the relationship between me and my BF, he thinks it’s because I don’t like her or I mite not like girls but we’ve had sex all 3 of us and I was into it, honestly never felt more connected to him. Now though he is saying he will have to get his own apartment and we will live separately, but how is that a happy situation.
Now to explain a little bit why her and I aren’t clicking in person either is our personalities are very different. I’m incredibly ambitious and hard working, I’ve never worked less than 40 hours a week. I have dreams and I have goals. I am a patient parent who likes to hear their kids talk about how they’re feeling I try not to yell I am a healer. I’m actively trying to heal myself and to make sure my kids are healthy and happy at the same time. She is not like me. She does not have a job. She is hesitating to go back to school to finish her hours for nail tech. Oh I feel like the only reason she even knows how many hours she has just because I’ve asked her multiple times if she’s going back. Whenever we talk on the phone all she does is yell at her kids and then when we’re together she just never looks happy I’m not gonna lie. We like to watch a lot of cartoons. A lot of anime and a lot of subtitles shows she’s more of a reality TV show person I’m trying to find things that were relatable, even the shows we do like she just doesn’t even want to talk about them. She’s quick to talk to our boyfriend and to respond to him with me it’s a couple hours between replies.
I do believe she is just there for him to kind of save her from her situation, but if she can’t connect with me or won’t connect with me, how is our relationship between all of us going to work? And I am cool with him being poly V but I want to be a nesting partner. How do I communicate with him and her? Or do I just let him have her and start another relationship or do I just walk away from both? He makes me so happy and I do love him with all of me. I have complete faith in him. I have complete trust in him. I don’t want to leave him but I also don’t want to make him unhappy if he really wants to be with her. It’s been eight years for them on and off and only four with us.
