Which way to turn?

LOL yes, she was!! :)
 
Sorry for the confusion. Yep definitaly me telling Karma why J sucks.



Karma just helped me put the finishing touches on my project for my Cost and labor mgmt class. Hoping for at least B. There was a lot of info I couldn't find, so I doubt I pulled off an A. In My other class we went over what's on the final, again, just did it last class. I pretty much now have all the answers to final, and it's open note.

So I'm plugging along on my achieving my list of goals. Goal to raise my GPA is on it's way to fruition.

Goal to get more active in the community should come around soon. Going to check a UU church on sunday, if I can manage to get out of bed.:D

They have a lot going on as far as group events, community service and whatnot. I really miss going to "Church". I like that I can get the fellowship and a message/sermon, without being told who or how to worship. They also have a labrynth and a womens full moon circle group. They have a young adults group and a lay ministers group. Which means I can get involved in the ministry aspect (I'm already ordained) without having to have a theology degree. Something I've really been looking for.

I'm pretty excited, especialy since this sundays sermon is on Dr Seuss' The Lorax. One of my favorites.

Karma is not so excited, he doesn't get why I need the fellowship. But he is trying to be supportive. That's all I can ask. I can't expect him to get it. I don't get his need to deal with the drama and soap opera that is Darkon. I get the need to beat people with sticks, it's the rest of it that makes no sense to me. But I support it. He needs that, so I encourage it. I can only ask that he does the same for me.

He seems to think all "churches" are the same and we are going to be condemned and talked down to for our beliefs. I dunno, never been there, but that's not the feel I got from the website and the sermons I listened to. I don't know how to explain my need for a Church. I just need it. I feel like it's been something missing from my life for quite a while.

He doesn't get my need for a sermon. For me it's like going to a weekly seminar. Something to chew on. Thoughts and ideas to toss around in the brain. Maybe they'll help with something I'm already working on, maybe they'll give me a new outlook on something, maybe i'll learn something completely new. I love to learn, I love to be challenged, I love to have new ideas presented and to see how that fit into my life. That's what I get out of a sermon. So how could going to a church that accepts all walks of life and all beliefs, not meet that for me? I listened to some of the older sermons and they cover a lot of things from various beliefs, but mostly it's just thought provoking ideas on how to be a better person. Exactly what I am looking for.

Health goals are going good too. My knee is just about back to normal so I can start working out again. Still managed to lose a pound this week without any working out.

I'm also reaching out and trying to be more social. To bad I waited til the end of the semester. :eek: Am getting to know some pretty awesome people.

Career wise, still no luck on employment, but I am working on new recipes and keeping my creative side active. The candy I made needs some more work. It's not holding it's texture, but I am pretty sure it's because I cooked it to too low of temp.

I need to work on my patience a bit. It's something I used to have an abundance of. Now it seems the slightest thing is pissing me off. I'm trying to catch myself and acknowledge when it's happening. Self awareness is something I've been working on and succeeding with, so now I just need to actualy learn from what I have found.

Nothing real exciting in the poly/dating front. The people I have talked to on OKC and actualy liked, are busy as hell so actualy finding time to talk is hard. Doesn't help that my schedule is whacked.

I am finding the thread Red Pepper started about couples meeting a date together the first time, pretty interesting. It surprised me that so many are turned off by the idea. It's something Karma and I decided would be a steadfast rule. He goes with me to meet anyone new. I don't think he'd need to go if it were someone we both knew already, but I like knowing he's there, when meeting random person from the interwebs. Sure I can take care of myself, but it covers so much more than that. It shows we are both aware of what is going on, no hiding anything. It gives a chance for everyone to meet and get a feel for things. And yes it does add into the safety factor. I like knowing that if my date is a creep, I can very easily walk up to my husband and go home. Most people I have talked to are beyond okay with it and very understanding. Not sure why there seems to be an issue with it with people here.

I think that is all that is spinning around in my head at the moment. I got lemons on sale last night and made a lemon pie and I hear it calling my name...good night poly people.
 
So I'm kind of in a what the fuck mood with people lately.

J is acting like teenage girl caught up in causing drama.

And then yesturday I find out that Panda won't talk to Karma because she is still upset about the conversation she and I had several months ago.

So you're mad at me, because you lied, broke promises and were a down right shitty friend for a period of time? I forgave you, you then turned around and told Karma I said you weren't worth it and that you were a horrible person (which were your words and not mine). And you're mad at me? WTF did I do? And because you're mad at me you're not going to talk to my husband? For fucks sake grow. I have no desire to try and make a friendship work with her again, but Karma does, and it pisses me off that she is being this childish.

Karmas brothers g/f split up with him last week because she'd rather hoe around with random men she meets in chat rooms (I didn't even know they still existed) while he's saving up to buy her an engagement ring, and she has the nerve to say he's been the one fucking up and lying for the last 5 yrs. Keep in mind that before she miscarried a few months ago, she was pregnant with his child (supposedly) and was sleeping with random internet men. Yep he's been the one lying. He had to break up with his b/f to continue seeing her but she was allowed to lie and cheat all she wanted? Come on now.

I just don't get people.

I don't get why it is so hard to man up to your mistakes. I don't why it is so difficult to be honest. I don't why adults feel the need to act like children. Why is common respect and decency so hard to come by anymore? I just don't get it. I don't get why hypocracy has become a common trait in young adults. If you expect the people in your life to abide by certain morals and standards then you need to hold yourself to the same ones.

Okay rant over.
 
I'm pretty excited, especialy since this sundays sermon is on Dr Seuss' The Lorax. One of my favorites.
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Me too. Once I was so annoyed with our city government in their complete disregard for the importance of greenspace in our community that I took my alotted public hearing time and read The Lorax! :D


I need to work on my patience a bit. It's something I used to have an abundance of. Now it seems the slightest thing is pissing me off. I'm trying to catch myself and acknowledge when it's happening. Self awareness is something I've been working on and succeeding with, so now I just need to actualy learn from what I have found.
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Me too! Good job sweetie! Keep your fingers crossed for me accomplishing the same goal.

I am finding the thread Red Pepper started about couples meeting a date together the first time, pretty interesting. It surprised me that so many are turned off by the idea. It's something Karma and I decided would be a steadfast rule. He goes with me to meet anyone new. I don't think he'd need to go if it were someone we both knew already, but I like knowing he's there, when meeting random person from the interwebs. Sure I can take care of myself, but it covers so much more than that. It shows we are both aware of what is going on, no hiding anything. It gives a chance for everyone to meet and get a feel for things. And yes it does add into the safety factor. I like knowing that if my date is a creep, I can very easily walk up to my husband and go home. Most people I have talked to are beyond okay with it and very understanding. Not sure why there seems to be an issue with it with people here.
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Didn't see it. Will have to read that one. Seems a valid practice for starting/looking for possible, new relationships.
 
Darling husband---I would like your thoughts on this one----


I've been giving some more thought to the veto thread. I don't really want to get into a debate there, so I'll just drop my thoughts here and others who read this can chime in if they like.

I'm getting the general feeling that people are against veto's because they feel it is taking away there choices, rights, what have you, in their life. They are losing say in their life and they don't like that.

I can understand that. I don't do well with people telling me what to do either.

I guess for me it's more a discussion instead of a straight up no. Unless of course it is a really bad, unsafe relationship.

I'll use Cricket as an example again, b/c it's all I've got at the moment. At several points I chose to stop discussing her or their relationship. I felt a lot of her actions and at times Karmas, were not meeting our happy healthy sane rule. I voiced to Karma that he was free to decide for himself what he wanted to do, but I was removing myself from the relationship because my happy healthy sane was being compromised. I didn't tell him he had to stop seeing her. Ever. He loved her and felt things could work, so I had no right to tell him that it had to end.

I would go back to trying to work things out with her and we'd be end up right back at fighting again.

Our agreement is that we have the right to veto if either of us feels happy healthy sane (HHS)isn't being met. My HHS wasn't being met. I could have vetoed their relationship. But as I said in an earlier blog, I don't think Karma and I would be where we are now, if that were the case.

Someone on that thread mentioned that they won't stand for being told they can't date someone or be friends with someone, simply because their SO doesn't get along with that person. Okay well good for you. You shouldn't have to deal with that. Karma has had several friends that I haven't liked, some that I have gone so far as to say are not welcome in my home. But I never said he couldn't be friends with them, he's an adult and can make those decisions.

With all that being said. I still say we have a veto agreement. Because if he were to get into a realtionship that just was flat out unhealthy, I want to protect him and us from that. Some have said that stems from insecurities in the relationship, but I don't think so. I think it's a testiment to how secure we really are. To be able to trust eachother to be looking out for our best interest while we are too caught in the midst of it to see the problems.

As an example, we are friends with a married couple that went on vaction awhile back. The female has a huge fear of jellyfish after having been stung as a child. While they were in the water a jelly fish swam up behind her. He told her they needed to get out of the water, NOW. She resisted, wanting to know why. He told her they were unsafe and as soon as they got to shore he's explain. They got to shore and he told her about the jellyfish. After she freaked out, she asked why he didn't just tell her it was there. "Well with the freak out you just had, do you think it would have been a good idea to tell you it was right there?" No it wouldn't have been. He vetoed their swimming because it wasn't safe, even though she couldn't see the danger and didn't want to stop. I see a poly veto the same way. When you are so caught up in the midst of swimming, you may not see the jellyfish, but if I do and I can save you the sting, I will.
I really only see myself using a veto if she were abusive in some way, or was putting our health in danger in some way (drugs, unprotected sex , etc.).

Karma has a need to help and protect. It's part of what I love about him. But there are times where that need gets in the way of him being able to see what is healthy. I do see the chance for him getting so caught up in wanting to help someone that he would let certain things happen or forgive certain things, and not see the whole picture. And that is where my veto would come in.

And it wouldn't just be a flat out your done with her. With no explanation. I would make sure he understood where I was coming from and why I felt that way.

It would not be an act of jealousy, nor because I didn't like her. If that were the case I would have vetoed Cricket long before they split up. I'm not that petty. I don't feel that I need to like everyone he dates or is friends with. And in the off chance jealousy were to occur, that's my issue, not his.

But I do know my husband. I know he gets tunnel vision. I know he gets caught up in things. I don't think it's a lack of respecting him, I think it's a matter of knowing him. It's a matter of loving him and wanting him to be HHS as much as I want it for myself.


I dunno maybe none of that makes any sense. It's just something that I got to thinking about after the talk we had tonight.

I told him no more wounded birds. I can't deal with seeing him get so caught up in trying to save someone that he loses himself, again. I get the desire to help others. But he's not a Dr and he's not a miracle worker. Be there for your friends, absolutely. But you can't do the work for them. If they are going to heal and grow, they have to do it. Not him.
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I'm feeling good about some of the new people in our lives right now. They aren't exactly new, but possibly branching out to new levels. Possibly. Right now it's about growing friendships. But they are good people, strong people, people with their own lives and their own goals and are heading in good directions. Good healthy relationships. It's a nice switch compared to the drama with several people in the last year.

I spent two hours after class sitting outside enjoying the summer breeze and talking to a new friend. I lost track of time to the point that Karma was calling to see if I was okay. That is SO out of character for me. I even thought to call him, but then we got to talking about something else and it never happened. I felt bad, but it felt so good to talk to someone who, for lack of better words, was on my level. She's younger than me, but has had many life experiences that have caused growth, that you wouldn't know it. It was so nice to share viewpoints with someone who responds with " I totaly get that. I know exactly where you are coming from." or "Yep that's exactly how I feel about it, one time ___happened and I responded exactly the way you did." I haven't had that kind of connection with someone in a loooong time. She didn't even flinch at the whole poly thing. She got what I was saying and shared some of the same thought processes. She verbalised what I was thinking "I'm gonna hate myself when the alarm goes off in the morning, but I feel like we were meant to meet eachother, it's nice to have someone who relates to you." If I wasn't hurting so bad I could of hugged her. Which is big for me, b/c of the fibro and not being able to handle the pain of a hug, I don't usualy want to go out of my bubble and touch someone.


Karma and I had a good talk tonight. I've been having a hard time with him pulling away to heal. I know why he is doing it. I don't feel down on myself because of it or anything like that. It's just hard as we approach the 1 yr mark of mending our marriage, to have him pull away. I haven't really brought it up to him, because I didn't want him to have that on his plate with everything else. But we talked about it tonight, and I realised how far we've really come. He said he wouldn't have been able to pull into himself and heal, if we weren't where we are. He'd be too affraid that if he pulled away, everything would fall apart and that what we have rebuilt and how strong it is, gave him the ability to do what he needs to do to heal himself. I am so thankful for that.

If nothing else came out of the last year, our rebuilt marriage has. Cricket was a catlyst for that. Had she not come into our lives, I have no doubt that we'd be divorced by now. Instead, we are stronger than ever. About a week after I found out about the affairs we made an agreement to give our marriage a year. We set out things that we both needed to work on, and things we needed to work on together and agreed to give it a year. We've decided to go out and do something special to celebrate that year. I really thought at the time that we'd be signing divorce papers by now, not planning a celebration.

But I think we deserve it. We've both worked damn hard to get where we are. It's been a hell of year. A lot of heartache, a lot of growth. It's fitting that our year is right around beltaine (the celebration of spring and lifes renewal). It is a renewal. A new growth coming out from beneath the cold dark snow.

I'm sure we still have plenty growth and pain and hurtles in our path together. I have no fantasy that we have beaten the worst of things. Honestly, we've only been together 9 yrs, if this is the climax of our lives together, things may get a little boring over the next 50 yrs :D. But it gives us something to build on. It gives us confidence for the next time things get really hard. We can come through anything, as long as we are doing it together.

"Through tear drops and laughter they'll walk through this world hand in hand." The quote we've both adopted for our relationship. We've to hell and back, and I don't doubt that we'll have to do it a few more times in our life together. But I take comfort in knowng that whatever we have to face, it'll be together.

And maybe one day, together will include a few other loves as well.
 
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Karma called a little bit ago to say goodnight and update me on the campout. He was part of the group who won the campout, and he won two teams and his student won dagger in the night exhibition they call pit fights. He sounds so excited and energized. I'm so glad this weekend went well for him.

Since he isn't home I decided to get creative with his easter basket. I made a scavanger hunt for him. It was fun putting it together, I just hope I hid everything according to the right clue and didn't mix any of them up :D.

Made a cake for tomorrow with some new recipes. Turned out pretty cute. The cake itself is decorated to look like a basket, with a rice krispy treat nest on top with candy eggs inside. Then I made cake balls and decorated them to look like baby chicks that are sitting around the nest.

My deviled eggs are made, celery is stuffed, rolls are done. We are having beef loin wrapped in baccon with asparagus and roasted potatoes.

I didn't deep clean like I usualy do when he's at a campout, instead I went out and enjoyed being mobile. Went to a few discount stores and got my nieces basket put together then walked around the mall for awhile. Watched a bunch of adorable children get their pictures taken with the easter bunny. So cute!

Then went to Wal-mart for some last minute gifts to put in Karmas easter eggs, and treated myself to a dozen spring colored roses. I don't usualy buy flowers, I don't see much of a point in spending money on something that will die, but they were so pretty, and wal-mart was so freaking busy it reminded me of Christmas. So I decided I deserved it.

So all in all a great weekend. Can't wait for Karma to come home. I miss him so much and I am so excited to send him on his treasure hunt :D
 
To clarify:

Pit Fights are a bracketed, tournament-style event. You fight against one other opponent in the middle of an arena - usually the roofed pavillion we call Tavern - and most of the campout comes out to watch, forming a fairly large-sized ring of spectators on all sides. There are different categories that define what the competitors may use, IE single sword, two swords (also called florentine), sword and shield, ect. Two-man teams in the only category where the fights are not one-on-one - as the name inplies, they are two-on-two, and the fighters can use whatever weapons style they want.

The final round was the stuff of campout legend :) My friend P and I went up against two of our other friends, V, his roommate, and T, a guy we all hang out with on a regular basis. They were both using greatswords (for you non-medevil types, that would be a two handed sword that's close to six feet in length) and they are two of the best in the game with that weapon. We were both using one handed swords and small to medium sized shields.

So, in the first ten seconds of the fight, I got hit in the kidneys by T and went skidding across the ground, stopping when I found a partially buried rock with my knee, T got sent backwards over the top of the check-in counter by P's shield rush, (which is something that has never happened to anyone before in Pit Fight history :) ) and V and P accidentally elbowed each other in the mouth at roughly the same time. So after this, we are all on the ground laughing and bleeding, the crowd is going nuts, and I look up and the guy running the pit fights and ask him "Did any one of us come out of that mess unscathed?"

He grins at me and says "Nope, but P and V are still alive, so shut up and keep fighting!"

I got "killed" in my rush on V, but I took his arm out in the process, and P killed T in the same rush when he sent him over the counter top, so now V is swinging a 6 foot sword with one hand :) This usually sucks, because you can't recover from the swing fast enough to protect yourself, but V got lucky on his first shot and knocked P's sword right out of the ring! So now P has nothing but a 20 inch diameter shield to defend himself from V's six foot sword. Somehow, he manages to duck, block, dance and dodge his way over to where I was laying "dead", even jumping over the sword blade and tumbling at one point, and when he gets to me he takes MY sword from me and lunges in, finishing the job.

After winning what has been called "The prettiest trainwreck ever", P and I met up with T, V, and K, my student and "adopted" little brother, and spent the next several hours getting drunk, eating roasted pig, and being very, very sore and happy with around 30 of our closest friends :)

When we got up this morning, none of us were able to walk without limping ;)
 
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Of course he leaves out the fact that he came home to a feast, and then an Easter Egg hunt. Where he got a lot of his cigarettes, fireworks, a bunch of candy and a ton more. I went a bit crazy with the shopping :)
 
God, did I ever :) Bacon wrapped beef loin, grilled garlic-asparagus, roasted red potatoes, celery stuffed with either cream cheese or peanut butter, and freshly made rolls.... I am fat, sore, and very very happy :D
 
So, I don't understand this at all, but it's not a complaint!

My good mood seems to be completely invulnerable to drama and negativity. I came home to Mohegan having a anxiety related breakdown, dealt with that (to a point), then had a conversation with a friend from Ohio about her children's father leaving her and probably trying to take custody of the kids. She explained the situation and I informed her that he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

And through it all, I was kinda irritated for maybe ten minutes, then popped right back into my post-campout, high energy mindset :)

I have no idea what this new change in me is or what caused it, but I LOVE IT!! I feel invincible right now.
 
Out with the bullshit in and in with knowledge and appreciation!

Karma and I spent a lovely day together celebrating the one year of all the drama and how far we've come. After some great sex we laid in eachothers arms talking about things and how even though it was hard, we needed this year. We talked about his date tomorrow and how happy I am for him. It's so nice to excited about it! When things happened with them before, none of were ready for it to go further. All three of us have been through a lot of growth. I wasn't secure enough in my marriage, in Karma's ability to be honest, in myself.

I dunno if things will progress for them this time around or not. But I find it very fitting that they are going on a date this weekend.

May 5th will forever represent change, rebirth and new beginings to me.

I had no idea when I read that e-mail last year, where things would be a year from then. I was planning a divorce. I was losing my mind. I was rebuilding my life. But I had no idea we'd be here. No idea that we'd be as strong as we are and that I'd be excited that he was going on a date. That he'd be going on a date with someone I really enjoy spending time with.

It's amazing where you can end up in a year if you put in the work to make it happen.
 
I know, it's kind of amazing, love :) But like I said earlier, I wouldn't have made it this far without you. Not even close. You really are that angel that pulls me out of the abyss I dive into, and I love you for that, and for so much more.
 
Took both my finals last night. I am .16 away from an A in one so I hope he'll round up and give me the A. I dunno what my final grade is in the other class, though I was at a high B before the final and I am pretty sure I did pretty well on it.

Slept all day today. First time in weeks that I actualy slept. Karma was going to go out with friends but didn't want me to wake up alone so he stayed home. So sweet. Then a friend called while Karma was making dinner, so he threw another chicken breast on the skillet and we had a good night of bullshitting, decompressing and eating yummy food.

Karma's interest called tonight. I'll have to come up with a name for her. I really like her. I cannot explain how nice that is. I love that she has her own place, a car, a job, a very fulfilling life of her own. There is no need to fill any void there, just the simple enjoyment of person. She is respectful of others feelings, but doesn't take shit either. She knows herself well, I respect that a lot. I really want things to work out for them.

I am a bit concerned that she still worried about what happened years ago. I don't want that to influence anything they may be building. I think if things do progress for them, i'll take her out and make sure she knows how okay with this I am.

The summer is full of promise. I've gotten a few calls about work. Karma is going to start job hunting when he is done with school next week. Graduation is finaly in sight, 5 more classes!! Karma and I are still doing really well. We've had moments where we've fallen into old habits, but we are no longer affraid to bring it up. That is really nice. The other week all the household chores fell on me and when we talked about, he was honest about why and I could see where he was coming from and we fell right back into making it work.

My highschool reunion is coming up and while I am not going, several friends are posting old pictures on facebook and the question of "are you where you thought you'd be at graduation" is coming up.

It's funny to look back at those pictures and the person I was then. No I am not at all where I thought I would be. I am not a teacher, I do not have 4 kids or a farm or anything else I thought I would have by now.

But I am happier than I think I would have been. I've joked with Karma about he and I and his interest going to my reunion and really shocking everyone. This is so not a life anyone I knew then would see me living. But those I am still incontact with say I seem much happier. And I am.

All I've wanted was a place I felt heard, a place I felt safe and a place where secrets were not allowed. I have that with Karma. It took a lot of work to get here, but here we are.

I'm just really happy and content right now. Waiting for the other shoe to drop honestly. I want things to hurry up for Karma and his friend. I'm not completely sure why. Other than I want him to have that joy. I'm excited to start working. Excited to finish my degree. Karma is doing so well in school and I am so proud of him. It seems like we can finaly start working on getting a life going.

It seems like the lies and secrets held us back in every aspect of our lives. And now that it is in the open and the healing is progressed and we have learned to live this new life together, so many locked doors have been opened and things are falling into place.

And now my hands hurt :) gonna go snuggle with my boy while he beats up monsters on Final Fantasy :) Something we have done since the begining of our relationship. It's nice that some things haven't changed :)
 
Mohegan said:
All I've wanted was a place I felt heard, a place I felt safe and a place where secrets were not allowed. I have that with Karma. It took a lot of work to get here, but here we are.

I'm just really happy and content right now. Waiting for the other shoe to drop honestly. I want things to hurry up for Karma and his friend. I'm not completely sure why. Other than I want him to have that joy. I'm excited to start working. Excited to finish my degree. Karma is doing so well in school and I am so proud of him. It seems like we can finaly start working on getting a life going.

:)
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So happy for you Mo...really happy for you. Email me your address, you deserve a pressie!!!!
 
Karma is heading out to spend sometime with his "friend". Not so much a date, they are just meeting up. I was supposed to go along, but have had a fibro flare from hell the last few days. Just not up for being around people. Would much rather sit here with my blanket and my pain pills. I hope he has a good time. I'm finding I have to reign myself in with my excitement over this. There is currently nothing but a rekindling of friendship going on, but there is a chemistry there that no one can really deny. I know she still worries about the past, I almost sent her an e-mail telling her I was okay with them spending time together and that we have both done a lot of growing since then. But I don't want to make things wierd for him. If something happens, it happens and if not then they have a stronger friendship.

Had about 2 hrs of feeling somewhat normal last night so I got all dressed up and came out to the living room while Karma was playing on the computer. He had his back to me and had no idea I was there until the blind fold was on ;). That led to a fun night and some new ideas for another time. I am most definitaly more a Dom in real life and a sub in the bedroom. It's worked for us, but it's kind of exciting to experiment with new roles. I enjoy submiting to Karma, but I love that we have a relationship that allows for the exploration into the reverse.

And about this time 9 yrs ago our one night stand that never ended, was just begining. Never thought it would lead to this! :)
 
Just got done talking to my mom, making plans for our trip home. My dad has to go in for a biopsy on Friday. Nervous. The dr says it's minimal chance that it's cancer, like 5%, they just want to be sure. But this type runs on his side of the family so that minimal chance means nothing to me right now.

On the other hand, it's nice to know my Goddess was checking up on my brother. They are in Montana on vacation and stopped at a rest stop. It was really foggy so he was going really slow and then all of a sudden the fog clears and right in front of them is a Buffalo. It stood and stared for awhile and then disapeared back into the fog. He said he was glad it didn't decide to take on his truck, and they chose to move on to another rest stop :). I think the Buffalo Goddess was just making an appearance to say hello. I'm comforted by this, if not a little jealous.

They are talking about going back next year and I always wanted to take Karma out there. Maybe I can get enough saved up in a year to make it a family trip.
 
Bah.

Spent a good two hours online this morning talking to the girl I'm been thinking of pursuing... because she's got feelings for another guy and needs help getting over them :/

Oh well. Honestly, it's probably for the best - I'm still not really over everything that happened with Cricket anyway, so I really have no business jumping into something like that. Besides, the girl in question is still a very good friend, and is actually one of the people who helped me through the worst parts of my breakup, so it's not like I actually mind helping her with this anyway.
 
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