Why I Think Some Men (Including Me) Like Married Women

[XTremeMeow]

I’ve noticed this topic come up a lot, especially from women who genuinely wonder about it, so I wanted to share my own thoughts in a straightforward way.
For me, and I think for a lot of me, the attraction to married women isn’t about chasing something forbidden. It’s usually about the person they’ve become through experience and connection. Married women often carry qualities that stand out in a really natural way.

A lot of married women I’ve met are kind, sweet, friendly, and gentle. They’re often great at conversatio, easy to talk to, easy to relax around, and they tend to have a calm, grounded energy. They’ve lived, loved, learned, and grown. That shows.

They usually have good boundaries, emotional maturity, and a clear sense of self, which makes interactions feel stable instead of chaotic. There’s a softness paired with confidence that can be very appealing.
I think many men pick up on that combination of warmth, stability, and emotional intelligence. It’s not the marriage that’s attractive, it’s the qualities that often develop within long-term relationships.

And personally, I really appreciate the gentle kindness, the openness, the patience, and the easy-going attitude that many married women seem to have. There’s something very genuine and comforting about it.
Just my perspective, but I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

 

[kdt26417]

Hi XTremeMeow,

I can see why you would like married women, my partner (Snowbunny) is married to my meta (Brother-Husband). This dynamic works really well for the three of us.

Regards,
Kevin T.

 

[XTremeMeow]

Hi XTremeMeow,

I can see why you would like married women, my partner (Snowbunny) is married to my meta (Brother-Husband). This dynamic works really well for the three of us.

Regards,
Kevin T.

Exactly. I am so glad someone is on the same page as me and understands a man's passion for a maried woman

 

[Arnoldr45]

I imagine it’s the same reasons women will chase a married man?

 

[XTremeMeow]

I imagine it’s the same reasons women will chase a married man?

To be honest, not so much. Because a man, especially a much younger one, loves everything about a married man. But a woman, not so much. Usually they do it out of jelousy or to steal the man from the other woman.

 

[Arnoldr45]

To be honest, not so much. Because a man, especially a much younger one, loves everything about a married man. But a woman, not so much. Usually they do it out of jelousy or to steal the man from the other woman.

That’s funny because while I may be attracted to ladies regardless of their marital status, I don’t pursue a married woman.
My fiance tells me it’s because if a man is married it means he’s tollerable, responsible, and it’s assumed he can not only lead but provide for a household.
I guess we’re all different in our own ways.

 

[XTremeMeow]

That’s funny, because while I may be attracted to ladies regardless of their marital status, I don’t pursue a married woman. My fiance tells me it’s because if a man is married it means he’s tolerable, responsible, and it’s assumed he can not only lead, but provide for a household. I guess we’re all different in our own ways.

Your fiance is very wise. And of course, not all men pursue married women. I agree with what your fiance said. This means she might be interested in chatting with a married man?

 

[Arnoldr45]

Your fiance is very wise. And of course not all men pursue married women. And agree with what your fiance said. This means she might be interested in chatting with a married man?

Nah, she wants to find a woman for a triad. Just musings of conversations we’ve had over the years, is all.

 

[XTremeMeow]

Nah, she wants to find a woman for a triad. Just musings of conversations we’ve had over the years, is all.

Is it hard for her to find someone?

 

[Arnoldr45]

Is it hard for her to find someone?

I'm sure she can pull women. Honestly, she's only started looking recently. But there's a lot more to it. She doesn't just want anyone. We want someone that wants to have kids with her, and we'll be building a homestead up north to live a simpler off the grid lifestyle. I'm sure there's some nice ladies out there that want that, but I have my doubts we'll find what we're looking for.

It's been my experience that most people value ease of life, comfort, and a movie theater or restaurant to a simpler, stress-free way of life where the important things can really take hold.

 

[XTremeMeow]

I'm sure she can pull women. Honestly, she's only started looking recently. But there's a lot more to it. She doesn't just want anyone. We want someone that wants to have kids with her, and we'll be building a homestead up north to live a simpler off the grid lifestyle. I'm sure there's some nice ladies out there that want that, but I have my doubts we'll find what we're looking for.

It's been my experience that most people value ease of life, comfort, and a movie theater or restaurant to a simpler, stress-free way of life where the important things can really take hold.

Interesting. So, she wants a woman so both of them could have children with you? Or just you and the future partner?

 

[Arnoldr45]

Interesting. So, she wants a woman so both of them could have children with you? Or just you and the future partner?

Both. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm down with the idea too. I think it would be nice to have such a big family and more love and support in the household.

 

[XTremeMeow]

Both. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm down with the idea too. I think it would be nice to have such a big family and more love and support in the household.

I am down too. It would really be nice to have such big family, filled with love. This is one of the reasons why I really love the poly community. They want to have children. While all the other non-poly, "normal" couples refuse to marry or have children, the poly community multiples.

 

[Evie]

I'm polyamorous and child free by choice. I married my husband when his kids were grown. There is no definite correlation between polyamory, marriage and the desire for child bearing.

 

[ref2018]

I'm polyamorous and child free by choice. I married my husband when his kids were grown. There is no definite correlation between polyamory, marriage and the desire for child bearing.

Me too, and my husband as well.

I am down too. It would really be nice to have such big family, filled with love. This is one of the reasons why I really love the poly community. They want to have children. While all the other non poly, "normal" couples refuse to marry or have children, the poly community multiples

It isn't really accurate, helpful, or productive to say "the poly community" is one way and "all other non-poly/normal people" are another way.

 

[Eponine]

This is one of the reasons why I really love the poly community. They want to have children. While all the other non poly, "normal" couples refuse to marry or have children, the poly community multiples

Can't disagree more. Personally I'm poly, married and childfree, and all of my poly friends are childfree too (some are also marriage-free/solo poly). If anything, poly people seem more likely to be marriage-free and childfree, because these are all non-traditional life choices that go against the mononormative relationship escalator model. Still, it's only relative at most, definitely not like all poly people are one way and all mono people are another way.

 

[Magdlyn]

I had three children before my ex-husband and I opened our relationship. (We later divorced, and then I started forming polyamorous relationships, as a solo person.)

My partners (Aries and Pixi), and my metamour Malachi are all child-free.

 

[XTremeMeow]

I had three children before my ex-husband and I opened our relationship. (We later divorced, and then I started forming polyamorous relationships, as a solo person.)

My partners (Aries and Pixi), and my metamour Malachi are all child-free.

Hi there. I just want to congratulate you. It seems that up until now you had a very interesting life filled with awesome adventures. I am glad that you found your balance in life, and We all hope that you are happy and smile everyday

 

[FeralGeek]

Have you dated many married women, @XTremeMeow? You described some married women you've met, but I'm curious if your first-hand experience has lined up with your perceptions.

I've been married and am currently dating a married woman, so my experience is limited, but I found your reasons for finding married women attractive to be super correlative. I've known sooooooo many married people who do not fit your criteria and plenty of happily single folk who do.

I imagine it’s the same reasons women will chase a married man?

A married man is a known entity while a young bull is all risk.