Will Smith, Jade Pinkett Smith, and the slap at the Oscars

Magdlyn

Magdlyn

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Staff member
The internet has their claws out for Jada and her polyamorous nature, her freedom, her autonomy.

Misogynists (and not just men) are calling Will a simp, a cuck and effeminate for "permitting his woman to have affairs" with other men, from time to time during their marriage. Apparently the pressure of this (according to some) led to his emasculation, which led to him somehow obeying Jada telepathically to go slap an innocent comedian for making a mild joke about her buzzed hair at the Oscars.

Chris Rock has a longstanding, perhaps casual friendship with the Smiths. Perhaps he didn't know about Jada's alopecia. Perhaps his joke writers knew but didn't care. Either way, this slap was, of course, uncalled for. Rock performed his stand-up routine in Boston last night, and an audience member asked for his thoughts, but he replied he wasn't ready to address it yet. He will be doing a big stand-up tour with Kevin Hart this summer, so I'm sure we'll get his views eventually.

I don't pay much attention to celebrities' private lives, but since the Smiths apparently have a mutually agreed-upon open marriage, I thought it would be interesting to discuss this. They have openly spoken about the long-term relationship Jada had with a young musician a few years ago, saying they were separated at the time and had agreed to pursue individual happiness. This might imply Will also had other sexual relationships then. In other words, she wasn't a whore, and he wasn't a cuck.

Jada has also revealed that she wasn't ready for marriage and didn't believe in it back in the '90s when they married, but felt pressured into it by her mother and societal expectations, especially since she was newly pregnant. She was never comfortable with monogamy. But she loved and loves Will, and vice versa, that is obvious. I have read they also homeschooled their kids, so they are outside-the-box thinkers. According to the common masses, they are deviant perverts. It's kind of ugly and saddening to read all this.

The public does not understand polyamory and is taking pleasure in mocking both actors and saying this embarrassment is nothing more or less than just deserts.
 
Right now polyamory is just fodder for tabloids and other sensationalist news sources. What's embarrassing is that a lot of common folk take sensationalist news seriously.

I hope Will and Jada stand their ground, I would hate to see them validate anti-poly sentiment by caving in on that front. I don't think I'd want to be a celebrity.
 
I haven't read a relevant interview or heard either of them talking about non-monogamy but I doubt they wanted to be, or wanted to be seen to be, celebrity ambassadors of ENM/poly. I gather they've been candid about their relationship struggles rather than presenting an idyllic PR controlled fantasy. *sigh* That was brave, or foolish, or both. No wonder they're getting attacked by people with hate-crushes for them.

The fallout from the slap is definitely going to make matters worse. Its like blood in the water. The press love a fallen hero and currently they've got one they can insinuate has a tragic backstory of having a disloyal poly partner, or variations of that. So juicy.

kdt26417 said:
Right now polyamory is just fodder for tabloids and other sensationalist news sources. What's embarrassing is that a lot of common folk take sensationalist news seriously.

I hope Will and Jada stand their ground, I would hate to see them validate anti-poly sentiment by caving in on that front. I don't think I'd want to be a celebrity.
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I wouldn't want to be a celebrity either. Hell, I don't want celebrities to be celebrities! I hate how fame and especially the social media frenzy around it seems to warp and stress talented artists and musicians.
 
I think they should have come out full stop or kept their mouth shut about the whole thing and let the masses wallow in cognitive dissonance.

The issue as I see it relates to the red table conversation. They disclosed just enough for poly people to look up to them as representatives of poly culture but not enough to be clear about Will's level of participation. Will referring to her relationship as an "indiscretion" created enough innuendo for the redpill community interpret things the way they do.

I think they should have just said something like: "We have an open relationship and we *both fuck other people", end of story.
 
What evidence do you have that Will Smith had other relationships? I ain’t seen nothin that proves Will wasn’t cucked.
 
Polyamory doesn't require that both partners have other relationships. And just because a leg in an MFM V is not dating anyone else doesn't mean that they are in any way non consenting or unaware of the other relationship, including if the are the partner with the greater longevity of relationship.

And contextually, Will Smith has been very open about being extremely career driven. The implication being that he hasn't had time for other relationships, serious or casual.
 
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I have been catching up on their relationship struggles since I wrote the OP. It seems that at the Red Table conversation, Will seemed very unhappy talking about them going on a break to allow each of them to independently find happiness. However, apparently there are photos of him from that time with another woman on his arm. I doubt he "loved" her, but it does seem he was trying to date for a bit too.

There is an idea that Jada had been deeply intimate with Tupac since her 20s. She said they had no sexual chemistry but she was very fond of him. Fond enough for her own daughter, who was 8 at the time, to write a letter to him after he died asking him to come back and make her and Mommy happy again. Maybe Will wanted to emulate the gangster image... and so the slap was caused by this effort to be more Jada's ideal man.

Anyway, the guy that Jada openly dated was a friend of the family and Will was on board with their relationship, or at least fully aware of it. The guy often stayed at their house. I don't think Will has a cuckold kink. I think he wanted his wife to be happy no matter what. Many things go on in long term relationships... It's rough that theirs was splashed all over the media as entertainment. It's even sadder that Will played out some of his angst while millions watched him at the Oscars. Yikes.

I have changed my mind that this couple was fully consensually poly. It seems like Will did it for a while to try to make her happy. I feel sorry for both of them. I hope they get therapy after all this mess.
 
Contextually, Will Smith never inferred enthusiastic consent, ENM, or polyamory either. I think they were facing a scandal of sorts (professionally, in the eyes of the masses) and if they are poly they specifically decided to make the public conversations as mono-relatable as possible. In the red table interview Jada indicated that Will "got her back" as in "got revenge"; Will referred to her relationship as an "indiscretion". Yet they were "on a break".. These aren't really terms I expect to hear in ENM/Poly. I would personally never refer to one of my partner's relationships that way...

As ENM/Poly myself I am personally reluctant to extend that label to their relationship when they never really asked for it. And it's not for a lack of opportunity as Jada participated in red table conversation with her daughter specifically about polyamory...

I think it's pretty obvious Will was seeing other people, but he never came out and said it. And he never indicated enthusiastic consent either. Basically opening up their relationship for anyone to make a conclusion that reflects internal worldviews and not the reality of the Smith's relationship.

Edit after reading Magdlyn's post:

I agree that Will looked sad and uncomfortable during that interview. I also think the 2pac stuff is far in the past, I would expect to see healing work in the other direction. I am skeptical about this incident having something to do with a relationship 25yrs in the past.
 
I finally watched their discussion on one of the 'Red Table Talk' sessions here. In the interview, Will states that he was almost ready to call it quits with Jada. This is when she was having the entanglement with Jaden's friend August Alsina . She was evidently in the same space as far as their marriage was concerned. She almost called it quits then. In the interview, neither Will nor Jada say anything about them talking about an open marriage before her entanglement. Will even presses Jada to put a more defined definition of 'entanglement' She then calls it a 'relationship'. They do not get into any discussion about what was going on before her entanglement, or even if they had any open marriage agreements or arrangements, so people are naturally going to fill in the blanks themselves (yeah, let's make assumptions). If you take what they discuss as truth, then it appears she got entangled when she wasn't getting what she wanted from Will and by both admissions, they were at a very, very low point in their relationship. I

To me, it's a very sobering and thoughtful discussion. During the interview, Will comes across somewhat hurt and angry (it's not what he says, but his facial expressions) but has evidently forgiven her for 'cheating'. They state they both are working on a stronger marriage and were holding this discussion due to all the internet chatter regarding their relationship. No discussion if they currently have an open marriage (at least during this interview). I was expecting Jada to be a little defensive, as in 'hey, we talked about an open marriage and you acted like a jerk'. I also expected Will to be more angry. They actually acted and talked like adults. Plus, through therapy, they had processed this situation well before 2020, when this talk took place. According to them, the entanglement with August happened a few years before 2020.

I do not understand the discussion about Will being submissive. Jada 'cheated' and she all but says the word. They both want to continue and work on their relationship, which to me means an equally supported relationship, not Jada leading Will around by his nose and making demands of Will.
 
I wonder if y'all know that Chris Rock recently did a Netflix special stand up show where he really gave it to Will for assaulting him. He goes hard.

Many think that Jada is a devil woman leading Will around by the nose, but the woman has a disease. Chris thought it would be fun to make a joke about her disease. It wasn't. And he didn't apologize in his new comedy show for having stepped out of line. As far as we know, he did not educate himself about the disease, or donate a million bucks to a foundation for people with alopecia. (Maybe he did in private, but I have no idea. Let's hope so.)

He just chose to call Will a violent motherfucker who wasn't raised right, and left it at that.
 
Magdlyn said:
I wonder if y'all know that Chris Rock recently did a Netflix special stand up show where he really gave it to Will for assaulting him. He goes hard.

Many think that Jada is a devil woman leading Will around by the nose, but the woman has a disease. Chris thought it would be fun to make a joke about her disease. It wasn't. And he didn't apologize in his new comedy show for having stepped out of line. As far as we know, he did not educate himself about the disease, or donate a million bucks to a foundation for people with alopecia. (Maybe he did in private, but I have no idea. Let's hope so.)

He just chose to call Will a violent motherfucker who wasn't raised right, and left it at that.
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Mags, DAG and I watched the special. IMO, Chris gets crazy with the cheese whiz and it sometimes comes across as mean, not funny. This writer has a really good take on Rock's Netflix special. If you wish, read this. To the point: Will slapped Chris, not Jada, so lay off Jada.
 
Ostrich said:
... This writer has a really good take on Rock's Netflix special. If you wish, read this. To the point: Will slapped Chris, not Jada, so lay off Jada.
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Thank you for that link. That was a really good read.

If I could add anything, and admit that if I am adding anything, it's not even really me... Neal Brennen (comedian) did a special, and in one of the tour shows (in Philly summer '22) he had a bit that wasn't included in his recorded special. I probably shouldn't call it a bit; and in fact I took it as perspective.

What Neal said was that Will Smith (regarding the slap) was probably also dealing with a barrage of slanderous remarks / jokes regarding his relationship with Jada; from people who do not know the exact details of their marriage. And that within the black community (a place Neal tries to speak about as a third party because many of his comedy writing partners, and other peers he grew up with were / are black), the comments have been heavier than most regarding Will being "dissed" on for having a polyamorous relationship - or anything of the sort. And then Chris Rock makes a joke about Jada, and well, Will exercised poor judgement from some things he may have bottled up. I know it's not healthy, or good, but I won't lie and say that I haven't been there.

The one thing I appreciated with Neal telling that was that it made me think about how I feel other people may look at polyamory, and what those common tropes are, and how it might be juuuuuuuuuuuust a bit more difficult, or tinged, to have people make comments like that specifically to you, or about you on a much more constant basis.

In any case, it was something I brought up with my therapist that made for some good conversation.

- Mac
 
Thanks for the link, Ostrich. I forgot that Chris Rock had a 90s routine "joking" about sympathizing with OJ! Yipes.
 
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