I posted last fall .
Youve not stated your location, so can I assume youre in the northern hemisphere?
I posted last fall .
Oh. I never made any such conclusion about myself. I just reached a point in my life where I choose to have multiple, non-exclusive relationships. I don't ID as poly, I'm just a person. For me, living polyamorously is a practice.
It isn't just semantics to me (on this issue).Ah, but now you're just talking about semantics. At least for this discussion. I guess for you it could be reworded to "What led you to choosing multiple, non-exclusive relationships?"
Aside from reading the first chapter or two of Polyamory in the 21st Century I was mostly confused. I had always wanted to be with one woman. One of my friends had an open relationship. I found that out when she brought me home one night, and offered to sleep with me.
But I think a lot of that boiled down to not having much self-respect. I figured it would be unfair, that the woman would just get all the action while I stayed home. Now... I feel like I'd get plenty, maybe more than I'd even really want. Wanting that one monogamous relationship... well, I just thought that's how you could get sex.
Watching Mad Men, in particular, made me really love the idea of having a wife I'd build my life with and a girlfriend to act as contrast. A secondary, I guess, who could show me other parts of life.
But knowing she was upset by such thoughts, I examined my own feelings and realized that in thinking of her with other men... I just didn't feel jealous. Moreover, I looked back and I think I always thought it was silly that, if you love someone, you would suddenly stop because they had a few moments of lust with someone else.
I don't watch Mad Men, but is there an openly poly couple on that show taking place in the early 60s, or is someone having an affair? That is not poly either.
If you want to be basically mono, but just "get a little on the side," there are a whole different set of rules than being polyamorous entails.
You know, when people explain distinctions to you, there is a reason for that. You come off as a bit dismissive to respond with "Oh, that's just semantics." How off-putting. It's not just semantics.
Non-monogamy is an umbrella term which ranges from cheating to swinging to open relationships to polyamory and whatever's in between. Polyamory is focused on loving romantic relationships, which for some people don't even have to include sex.
Not sure, but you seem more interested in the sex. Get clear on what you're asking or no one would have to stress the differences to you.
Do you want to know how people got to be polyamorous or open or what?
Oy, I think Mercury's in retrograde or something.Frankly, repeatedly telling me that poly isn't just about sex or just _having_ to ensure I know you don't identify as poly comes off as a little defensive.
Right. And all of those terms you could have asked about would have garnered different responses - that's why specificity is important.I asked how people came into polyamory because this is polyamory.com. So I said polyamory. It could have been non-monogamy, or open relationships, multiple non-exclusive relationships, or any number of other terms for what can be a slightly messy subject.
I feel like it's an ongoing process.
It's easier to play Scrabble than it is to invent a whole new game to play. Or is it? Never know until you try.