Is it wrong to cancel a first date because he's not tall enough?

alibabe_muse

alibabe_muse

Member
Is it wrong to cancel a first date because the guy isn't tall enough? :eek: I know it might seem petty, but honestly, I have this "quirk" (must add this to blog) about men, and it just doesn't seem fair to them. Even though I'm short (5'2"), if I meet a guy, and he isn't 5'11" or taller, my physical attraction to to him disappears. I've been like this for over 20 years now.

So since I haven't actually met him yet, how do I break it to him his height has disqualified him? He's the first guy on OKC that didn't put his height on there. I usually don't respond if the guy is shorter than what I have found myself drawn to.

Then I wonder, what if I am missing out on a true connection? I am trusting my intuition on this, and know I need to let him know I can't meet. I just don't know what to text him. :eek:
 
"sorry I am just not into you"...

I am 6'5 and very broad shouldered with beard.. a lot of girls just aren't into me. It happens and thats fine. Not everyone can be attracted to every physical attribute.
 
I used to think I could only date guys taller than me.

I was an idiot. If I would have held onto the delusion that height makes the man I would have lost out on Murf who quite frankly is one of those once in a lifetime kind of people . I have never loved another like him. Not even my husband. I am 5'7". He is 5'6"
 
It's neither wrong or right.

You don't seem like you want to go.
I am trusting my intuition on this and know I need to let him know I can't meet. I just don't know what to text him.
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Could keep it simple and say "I'm so sorry. I changed my mind so I can't meet. I apologize."

And let it go.

Galagirl
 
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thank you

GalaGirl said:
It's neither wrong or right.

You don't seem like you want to go.


Could keep it simple and say "I'm so sorry. I changed my mind so I can't meet. I apologize."

And let it go.

Galagirl
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GG you are great with words! Yes I have made up my mind. His pic on okc doesn't quite look the same as the two he sent me today. He also looks too much like DH, just shorter.
 
;)

The one guy I dated (many years back mind you) that was shorter than me admitted to crying everyday. So I am probably not the best to answer.
 
I used to date guys over 6 foot...then I married a man whos 5'10 and hot as hell to me. I always teased him that I;d made an exception....Well, my boyfriend is maybe 5'8. It happens, give the guy a shot :) *(and im not tall either, im about 5'5)
 
Ariakas said:
"sorry I am just not into you"...

I am 6'5 and very broad shouldered with beard.. a lot of girls just aren't into me. It happens and thats fine. Not everyone can be attracted to every physical attribute.
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A lot of women arent into that?! :p
 
I admit I've got a thing for tall men too. My ex of 30 years was just my height. Before I met him I'd also been attracted to taller men. I'm 5'7" and somehow swoon over guys 6 foot tall or preferably taller. It's strange.

Ginger is 6'3". Pixi is only 5'4," but that's okay because she's a girl.

I am kind of ashamed of my preference for tall men. But there you go. They make me feel little and protected, I guess, which is stupid, because I like being tall and powerful myself.
 
alibabe_muse said:
Even though I'm short (5'2), if I meet a guy and he isn't 5'11 or taller, my physical attraction to him disappears.
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So what you're saying is size matters. :D Are there any other size requirements (minimums) these new suitors should know about?

A recently divorced male friend of mine is having the same problem with the weight (size) of some of the ladies he's met on line. The dilemma is whether to put the requirement on the profile page and weather the negative comments, or waste a lot of time on first dates.
 
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No offense, but a man of smaller stature can kick as much butt as a taller man.

I am sure Murf would have no problems keeping me safe. And I am no wimp myself.
 
You like what you like. Nothing wrong with that. I thought I liked what I liked as well, until I met an amazing woman that was nothing like I usually go for visually.
 
Inyourendo said:
No, it's not wrong. When I hear a guy is circumcised my interest level goes way down.
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Unless a man had it done in adulthood, that is within his control how?

I am amazed at people who write off potentially wonderful partners for superficial things beyond their control. Why judge a book solely by its cover?
 
I find it fascinating what features people are attracted to. I had this conversation with a friend from work while we were running one day... Her thing? Forearms. And when she gave me an example, I thought, yup... if anyone has nice forearms, it's that guy. :D

Me, I like lots of things, but I will notice eyes, broad shoulders/back, and hands (oh boy - HANDS!) before I care about other things. :)

And if someone's scent turns me off, it's a "no" right out of the gate. Luckily, I haven't had to have that conversation with anyone, since they've all been off limits for one reason or another.
 
Ariakas said:
You would be surprised. I have met women repulsed by beards, height, etc. It's kind of funny to me.
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I love beards & the height. DH is 6'2 & has a beard. But it's the height. I guess it makes me feel more feminine.
 
Dagferi said:
Unless a man had it done in adulthood, that is within his control how?

I am amazed at people who write potentially wonderful partners for superficial things beyond their control. Why judge a book solely by its cover?
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Foreskin is something that's a huge dealbreaker for a lot of people. It has caused a LOT of discussions both here and on Fetlife in the past. That one isn't surprising at all.

I have some funny horrible stories about my teenage years. My generation and my area, everyone was cut. I wasn't. Teenage girls can be rather heartless in their assessments of manhood.

I found it most interesting that the above poster had the affect the other way. I have rarely seen that.

And if someone's scent turns me off, it's a "no" right out of the gate.
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There is a genetic selection component to smell which makes this true for anyone. You could almost say it's not a choice, since it's your genetics finding an appropriate match.

I know smell for me is the most important factor in any partner selection.
 
Magdlyn said:
I admit I've got a thing for tall men too. My ex of 30 years was just my height. Before I met him I'd also been attracted to taller men. I'm 5'7" and somehow swoon over guys 6 foot tall or preferably taller. It's strange.

Ginger is 6'3." Pixi is only 5'4," but that's okay, because she's a girl.

I am kind of ashamed of my preference for tall men. They make me feel little and protected, I guess, which is stupid, because I like being tall and powerful myself.
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Don't be ashamed. It's what I call about myself a "quirk." Even back in college, shorter guys just didn't make me feel like a girlie girl (even though I am one). Now after three kids and a more mature body, my preference is much stronger.

I admit I am willing to see someone shorter than 5'11," but this guy I just didn't find as attractive as I first thought.
 
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