Myers Briggs and polyamory.

I am ISFJ - Protector


•moderately expressed introvert
•moderately expressed sensing personality
•moderately expressed feeling personality
•moderately expressed judging personality

Protectors - are not as outgoing and talkative as the Provider Guardians [ESFJs], and their shyness is often misjudged as stiffness, even coldness, when in truth Protectors are warm-hearted and sympathetic, giving happily of themselves to those in need.

At work Protectors are seldom happy in situations where the rules are constantly changing, or where long-established ways of doing things are not respected. For their part, Protectors value tradition, both in the culture and in their family. Protectors believe deeply in the stability of social ranking conferred by birth, titles, offices, and credentials. And they cherish family history and enjoy caring for family property, from houses to heirlooms.

The other parts of the Protector description does not pertain to me. I also took this on FB last year and I think I got the same result.
 
Wow....I never saw this thread before!!! It's interesting to see how many N's there are on this forum considering that N's (as opposed to S's) only make up about 10% of the population.

I used to teach the Myers Briggs, so I've given it to everyone I know, and it's interesting to see patterns in the people I choose for lovers and friends- most of them are NF's.

I am- ENFJ
Richard ENFP
Steven INFP
Charles ENFJ
John ESTJ

My best friends:
Terry- INFP
Stacie- ENFP
Julie- ENFJ
Katherine- ENFP
 
redpepper said:
wait a minute... what is a guardian? I am confused... I guess I need to look at the site? The one I did was on FB I think
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Guardians are SJ's. Guardians can be introverts or extroverts. And they can be F's or T's (meaning makes decisions based on values or logic) but they are all Sensory oriented in how they percieve the world through their senses (rather then intuition) and they are judicious- meaning- dot the i's cross the t's...always on time....they makes lists etc.
 
I'm a provider-ESFJ.
My sister is an ISFJ.
I don't remember GGs but I know his last letter is a P and the first is X because it's dead even. :)
I THINK he's an XNFP.

I think Mark is an ISTJ. :)

I find these REALLY interesting too.
 
I find it interesting that quite a few poly people seem to be E or I, NF, P or J. I think it is talked about earlier in this thread... what does that mean, if it is in fact true?
 
redpepper said:
I find it interesting that quite a few poly people seem to be E or I, NF, P or J. I think it is talked about earlier in this thread... what does that mean, if it is in fact true?
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Well, there are only 2 other options (S or T) so everyone has to be one of those combinations.

Here are the choices:

E or I = Extroverted or Introverted
S or N = Sensing (preferring tangibles) or Intuitive (preferring ideas & concepts)
T or F = Thinking (relying primarily on logic & reasoning) or Feeling (relying primarily on emotions & desires)
J or P = Judging (operating on definite, specific parameters such as schedules & deadlines) or Perceiving (operating on flexible, dynamic parameters)

The entire concept is fascinating for me. If I had to venture a guess, I would theorize that the Guardians (SJ's) are the least common group in polyamory being drawn as they are to traditional values. But, since LR & Maca are both Guardians, that may not hold up in reality.

I would expect there to be more SP's and Idealists (NF's) who are P's than any other type because of their tendency to prefer flexibility and options rather than embracing structure & rules.

My inner nerd would like to volunteer to graph the data though if everyone would like to take the test & then post their results in this thread. :D
 
Ummmm hmmm

Personality test results

Ta-dah, your personality type is ESTJ!

Extraverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
Sensing (S) 50% Intuitive (N) 50%
Thinking (T) 50% Feeling (F) 50%
Judging (J) 50% Perceiving (P) 50%
Click to expand...


WTF does THAT mean??!? I'm perfectly balanced? HA! yeah right!

Ironically, it's also the exact opposite of what I pegged myself as by reading the 4 definitions of the letters and picking either E or I, S or N etc... Which gave me INFJ

No wonder I'm in physics... psychology is definitely not a science!!!!

Edit: I just realized that "ESTJ" are the "first" letters for each pair, so it probably just went with those and didn't actually evaluate me... I think I'll just go around telling everyone I'm perfectly balanced, because the internet says! ;)
 
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redpepper said:
I find it interesting that quite a few poly people seem to be E or I, NF, P or J. I think it is talked about earlier in this thread... what does that mean, if it is in fact true?
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I read a little more about what the J/P mean... It seems the letters cannot be taken separately, all 4 of them work together to make an overall meaning, as opposed to just "4 different aspects of your personality"

  • Sensing/iNtuition are the Perception traits
  • Thinking/Feeling are the Judging traits
  • J/P refers to which of your Judging or Perception traits are extroverted (making the other, P/J respectively, your introverted trait)
  • E/I refers to whether your it's your Extroverted or Introverted trait that is dominant.

So ENFP:
  • P means your Perceiving trait "Intuitive" is your extroverted trait
  • E means your extroverted trait "Intuitive" is dominant
  • So your dominant personality type "Extroverted Intuitive"

INFP:
  • P still means your Perceiving trait "Intuitive" is extroverted
  • But now I means your Introverted Judging trait "Feeling" dominates
  • Making you an "Introverted Feeling" type

To summarize the "NF" trend that RP noticed, we are dominated by these 4 personality types:
INFJ: "Introverted Intuitive"
INFP: "Introverted Feeling"
ENFJ: "Extroverted Feeling"
ENFP: "Extroverted Intuitive"

I needed the pictures to really get it:
http://www.timeenoughforlove.org/Notation.htm
 
redpepper said:
I find it interesting that quite a few poly people seem to be E or I, NF, P or J. I think it is talked about earlier in this thread... what does that mean, if it is in fact true?
Click to expand...

NF's are Introspective/Intuitive Feeling Oriented people. meaning that the way we process things is through our intuition and we instrospect about things more. Has anyone ever told you "it's just not that deep" or implied that? it's because they are an S. S's are sensory oriented and a true S only wants to focus on what can be percieved through the senses.....seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing, physically feeling etc. An N can percieve more sublte things through intuition and introspection.

The F means that we make our decisions based on our feelings or values. As opposed to a T who makes decisions based on logic.

There has never been an NF president of the United States, although Gandhi was an NF. NF's aren't willing to deal with the bureaucracy in order to get to a postion like the presidency, although they are idealists and will go to great lengths to achieve success for a cause they believe in.
 
Schroeding-
you might pick up the book.

"please understand me II"

It goes MUCH more in depth and is MUCH clearer. ;)

I have the book because my dad insisted I read it-so I could understand why we do NOT function the same way. It's a very helpful relationship tool.
 
redsirenn said:
Do you think some personality traits can handle this type of relationship better than others?
I am an INFP.... Which makes me fairly sensitive, I think.
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I do not think there is a personality trait, i mean if we say that then is there a personality trait that makes monogamy a good fit for somebody else? or a personality trait fer homosexual relationships? or for polygamous relationships?
but still.. i am interested to see if there is a trend...
i am an ISFJ
Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
and heress what it says about those with this personality (in a nutshell, nt full details )
and guess what it says about people with these personality traits...
"ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their 'need to be needed.' In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them. ISFJs are interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives. They are steadfast and meticulous in handling their responsibilities. Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others' feelings. Friends and family are likely to describe them as thoughtful and trustworthy. "
what i find interesting is..... "standard" give and take relationships are unsatisfying for them.... giggle, maybe that was why i went fer poly relationship, poly certain is not the standard (yet) and also "interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives" yeah, you kinda need that with any relationship but it certainly becomes even more of a requirement in poly...
hmmm.. interesting thread...

i wonder if there is a certain personality trait.... i think there is not, and this is coincidence but... perhaps a few other folks can change my mind LOL <-- was that an attempt at harmony giggle
 
Deeper Thinking about MB

I find this thread absolutely fascinating having been interested in Myers Briggs for over 15 years. FYI, I have stayed steady as an INFJ through all of those years.

One piece that's been alluded to but I think needs more attention is that the 16 types are deeper than just their four letter combination. M.B. was based on thinking by Jung, which focused on cognitive functions (how we perceive and process information).

My primary partner is an INFP and I am an INFJ. Given the similarities of our letter combination and personality descriptions, we couldn't understand why we seemed to come at things from completely different angles most of the time! The 'ah-ha' moment for me was when I looked into the cognitive functions.

To keep it simple, her top two cognitive functions (for an INFP) are IF and EN (in order). This means that she primarily takes in information through her internal feeling - she is very in tune with her own values and needs. Her secondary cognitive function (EN) brings her to want to express these values in a unique and external way. Combined, she feels strongly driven to express her desire for a new way of living on this earth based on her personal values and expression. Living poly is a large part of her strongly internal values-based expression.

I, on the other hand, as an INFJ have my top two cognitive functions as IN and EF. This means that I primarily take the world in through my intuition. I sense very strongly how things could or should be. My EF means that I am always looking to make people feel good and comfortable and am keenly in tune with other's values and feelings. Combined, I strongly sense the way that the world could or should be in order to make it more functional, just and loving, and will cross over many different boundaries and break many cultural rules to do so, but almost always in a way that makes people feel valued and loved. Living poly just makes sense to me in a completely intuitive way.

Going into a lot of detail about how this affects our communication is TMI for ya'll, but let's just say that it has great implications about how we need to talk to one another lovingly and with great understanding. In short, our different functions (seen negatively) can lead me to feel embarrassed of her outward expressions of her values and she can feel threatened and confined by my 'appropriateness.'

Maybe this is too much information, but I found it extremely helpful to delve in deeper. To find out more, type in a google search your type and cognitive function (google search words: INFJ 'cognitive function') and some links will pop up.

Hope that's helpful! :)
 
dragonsong said:
Maybe this is too much information, but I found it extremely helpful to delve in deeper. To find out more, type in a google search your type and cognitive function (google search words: INFJ 'cognitive function') and some links will pop up.

Hope that's helpful! :)
Click to expand...

Not TMI at all, very helpful! The cognitive function part really sets it out, thank you!
 
Myers Briggs and Poly?

I was reading II's Blog this a.m. and came across this:

idealist said:
I'm enjoying your posts!! Love the way you think and process things!!!

Have you ever taken the Myers Briggs test?? If so, I'm guessing you're INTJ.....
Thanks and keep sharing!!! :)
Click to expand...

(If you don't know - www.humanmetrics.com) .

I had been thinking about this a lot lately because of our OWN personality types in this Quasi Triad (is that a new term she asks??).

Me: ENTP
Hubby: ISTP
C: ENFP

I often wonder if 'our' relationship sort of works because of our P commonality. I mean let's face it, P's are much more open to the world around them, than their counterpart J's. Of course, the downside is that our plans change so fast, that it would drive ANY J wild!!

Anyone done in investigation into this and the Poly world. I bet the numbers are skewed toward NFs, NTs, and P's.

P2
 
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