Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Feeling fabulous today even though my to-do list is a mile long. PunkRock's father and step mom are visiting our home for a BBQ, for the first time ever. I am nervous about them meeting my kids and DarkKnight for the first time. I need to make several salads and clean like crazy today!

This afternoon I am hosting the board game club for my daughter's friends. We don't normally host on Fridays because the attendance drops from 18 or so down to like 4, but since we plan to play Pandemic today, I am ok with that. :) I am looking forward to having to guide a much smaller crowd!

Tonight we are hosting our Pathfinder group again, and a new friend from the WarMachine journeyman league is stopping over to bring DarkKnight 6 more boxes of assorted comic books. We've already taken ownership of a tremendous amount of comics, but this should be the last load. DarkKnight is in heaven! I promised to take a date night with him to spend time sorting and organizing because he is a bit overwhelmed with them all. Next week.

Let's see. My daughter's plane ticket came to $1134. She will be leaving Philadelphia on October 2. In the meantime I need to get her scheduled for the typhoid vaccination still, purchase all the little incidentals - snacks for the plane, clothing that meets the specifications of the organization hosting her, electrical adapters. I also need to get her cell phone worked out with our service provider. I will need to pay an additional $1080 for room and board before she leaves - that's budgeted for mid-September. She needs cash for the VISA when she arrives, which will be like $90. I need a separate to-do list just for her!

I also have been planning her school year here at home and I have a list of things to purchase and I need to organize the homeschool cabinet.

My Biology classes - still need to finish up the curriculum. A 3 hour or so brick of time will get this done. I need to go through the slides and make sure both microscopes are working ok. I need to order all of the dissection specimens. I am still debating on opening a 3rd class - I am waiting to hear back from one mom. If her two kids can't attend, I am probably going to drop the idea because my life is hectic enough.

There is a family reunion with DarkKnight's birth family on Sunday, so I need to make a dish to bring to that. His cousin has agreed to teach a shop class with my daughter - welding, carpentry, etc. so we will be discussing that with him then, and setting the start date.

I should probably go get in the shower.
 
Whew! I am always amazed at the amount of stuff you manage to get done! :)
 
Soooooo maybe I am dating now. I still feel very confused. I messaged some more with this guy on OKCupid, and I talked with DarkKnight a bit about where I was in my head - all over the place. I think this guy and I are going to meet up on Monday and play some WarMachine. He seems to be very open to whatever I am looking for, whether it's a boyfriend or just a FWB. I rewrote my intro on OKC, and read it over to DarkKnight who said he thought I did a good job of articulating things.

I spoke with PunkRock for like an hour tonight, and I felt pretty emotional and vulnerable. I don't trust him to tell me his feelings about all of this. Or at least not all of his feelings. He played it pretty close to the chest when I was dating the guy back in February, and I know he wasn't being open all the way then. He told me tonight he had felt irked at the time because he felt like I was only interested in dating that guy, because he was interested in me. I wasn't interested in anyone or the idea of dating until he expressed a desire and then I was on board and moving full steam ahead. Though I would not describe that as entirely accurate, I wish he had articulated that at the time.

He says he is not irked now. I told him though, that this situation is kind of similar, in that I only got online to check out profiles for my friend, and then this guy contacted me. Let's call him WarMan. I didn't seek him out, I wasn't necessarily interested in finding dates or anything until he expressed an interest. But does that make my poly self less valid? I don't think so. Certainly I receive a great many messages, from guys that want to date or fuck me. That doesn't mean I do. It's me, not this guy, that is deciding to follow up.

Honestly, I don't know if it'll work out. I am not expecting any lightning like I had with PunkRock. I knew right away with PunkRock that I wanted to be with him. I dated many, many guys in the interim that I did not feel anything for. Statistically, that will probably be the case. Still, I am a mix of emotions!

I am excited about meeting someone new. I am nervous because I don't want to hurt PunkRock in feeling that excitement. I told him tonight that I would call everything off if needed. I will not risk my current happiness for this. I am willing to put my poly on hold for as long as I need.

When we spoke yesterday, he said he couldn't remember why I was on hold for dating until October, only that it was 6 months from when we were at that point. So, it was because he loves me and wanted me to have a calm stretch of time. For that reason, I feel like it is ok to say, well, if things work out with WarMan and we hit it off, then I will not have to worry about that restriction, since things with my dad's death are no longer an issue.

I did tell PunkRock tonight that if I hit it off with WarMan, then yes, I wanted to date him. He said he hopes this guy is not a goober, and I said that was kind of a requirement to even get past the screening process. Lol

I am somewhat reassured. He asked me what it is I think I am looking for. I said I want an activities partner, a friendship that includes sex. I am okay with not being on the relationship escalator, but that I would also be ok with a label of boyfriend/girlfriend if they wanted.

So this is where I am at. I went up to bed with DarkKnight and he was concerned that PunkRock and I were having serious conversations tonight about this, but I told him that it is okay. Because I think for now it is.

PunkRock said he will let me know if things aren't ok. We will see.
 
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Bluebird said:
I had one of those poops that feel like everything that is evil is leaving your body in an agonizing toxic river . . .

I felt so very lucky to have such wonderful guys to take care of me when I was feeling so shitty.
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Feeling shitty in more ways than one!

It's so nice to have caring partners, especially after toxic river poops!

:eek: :D
 
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Wow. Ok!

I went on a date with WarMan yesterday. He was really excited - he said he hardly slept the night before and couldn't really concentrate at work, so he ended up taking half a day. (He works from home.) Since he took a half day we were able to meet earlier than the 6 pm start time we had planned.

I had promised a friend a round of WarMachine at 1 pm, so I told this guy to meet me at the game store at 3 pm. He arrived right on time and watched me get clobbered and lose. (To be fair, I think this was my best game all league even though I lost.) Originally on the date, we were going to meet at Burger King and then go right back to the store to play our own game of WarMachine, but since we now had a chunk of time, I drove us both down to my favorite Mexican restaurant in town.

I was wearing what PunkRock called my "Man Trapper" dress. I felt pretty good about myself in it, despite my weight gain.

Anyway, we ended up staying at the restaurant for several hours, just talking about all sorts of things under the sun. I thought it was interesting, due to topics I have read here, to learn about his background. He left a prominent religion a decade ago and was disowned by his family, relocated to this area, and he is still recovering a bit, emotionally, I think.

I had a big box of leftover food to take back home and a trunk full of comic books given to me by the friend I met earlier, so I swung by the house to drop it all off. So, he ended up meeting DarkKnight briefly, and said hello to both my kids in passing.

After dropping stuff off, we returned to the game store, where he met and said hello to PunkRock, as PunkRock was leaving for the night. Then we played a game, which was really fun, and that was the end of our date night.

Some things!

I liked him. He reminded me a TON of DarkKnight, which I find comical because so many of the guys I have been on dates with in the past do as well. I think I have a type. Lol

He smelled nice. He was wearing decent clothes, but I would have dressed him differently. Better fitting, I mean. He's a larger guy though, but I have to say I overhauled all of DarkKnight's wardrobe after we moved in together. Lol

He has facial hair that I find somewhat strange. On OKCupid he had several photos showcasing two different styles, and I was a *bit* disappointed he was rocking the one that he had. I think he is doing himself a disservice with it. That said, both my guys now do what they want with their faces and unless we get serious, I'll not say a thing about it to WarMan.

I liked him. Did I mention that? He had a quiet earnestness about him that seemed very endearing. He came across as honest and trustworthy and a decent human being. He listened to me, which with the amount I talk, is always a bonus. I really liked that he questioned me all along the way about whether I was comfortable, if I felt safe, etc. It wasn't overbearing but instead sweet.

Sweet is a good way to describe him.

We seem to have a lot in common, so that is good. What else? Because he is so estranged from his family of origin, he apparently has built a strong network of friends here, who are like family to him. He has a best friend who is a girl and married, who used to be poly before she met her husband and he cowboyed her away from the lifestyle. Apparently after initially talking to me in February, and after my disappearance that lasted all summer, he talked to this friend a few times about polyamory and it made him question a lot of things. Then, when I popped up active again on OKCupid, that triggered him into remembering me because I was the only poly chick who had messages with him on there.So even though he is monogamous, he's been thinking about it. Oh, but previously he has dated a married poly woman before at one point as well, but it didn't last long for reasons.

Anyway, I think he is half in love with me already. Which is sweet. It doesn't have me freaked out or anything.

He does seem really close to his female friend and remarked several times that she hasn't liked his few girlfriends in the past. That those girlfriends are threatened by his relationship with her. So that's a red flag. HOWEVER, I actually texted with her briefly, the night before the date, because she happened to be with him when we were chatting. I told WarMan to ask her what would make him a great boyfriend, and what would make him a shitty boyfriend. She grabbed his phone and then wrote me all about him. She said he was smart and funny and so loyal and attentive. She said he's whiny sometimes and can be down on himself so he needs to work on that. I seriously loved her tone when writing and we hit it off immediately. I think I will either love her to pieces as a quasi-metamour or we will hate each other horrifically. You know how that can be - when you meet another lady and you are just both too much the same? Anyway, he has never dated her or anything but I think other than the sexual parts, from what I can gather, she's a huge part of his emotional support. So I would consider her a metamour in this situation.

So how do I feel? I like him. Lightning didn't hit but his kisses were sweet. I am going to see him again on Saturday, and meet his friends. I scheduled an STD panel for Thursday at my doctor.

Today he texted me a bunch throughout the day. He liked me a LOT and asked me all sorts of questions. I enjoy talking with him and the more we text, the more I find myself wanting to see him again.

I will write more later...
 
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Sounds like a pretty decent guy.
 
Long time reader of your blog and I so enjoy it!

One question - if things escalate and sparks end up flying with the new guy in a more than fwb sort of way - how will you handle it? It seems like you're really cognizant of risk with Punk Rock, and everyone else really. So I was a little curious about how you handle/negotiate those obstacles if they occur.
 
Ditto what monkeystyle said. I've been thinking about this in relation to my partnership with Blue. How do you balance the risks of alienating/hurting your existing partners with the rewards of seeking new connections? I get that it's a very individual thing and sometimes it's better to let existing relationships transition into something different rather than hold onto a romantic connection that doesn't allow you to be true to yourself. But, when you're happy and mostly fulfilled within your existing relationships, how do you balance that line? (Asking as someone relatively new to poly!)

You seem really good at respecting DarkKnight & PunkRock's boundaries....and great at keeping the communication open with both. I love reading your blog because it's real and family like and that's what I'm trying to establish in my life :)

Oy, congrats on the good first date! I hope this develops like you want it to :)
 
So nice to read that you had a good first date with WarMan, Bluebird! I hope it continues to go well. You know how to take care of DK and PR very well, and yourself, so I am sure you can trust them both to tell you if they have any discomfort about a new romantic interest in your life. Even so, you are the poly one, so enjoy this new connection! I think it will be interesting for you to have sort of a metamour, in his best friend. Nice that you are planning on meeting his friends soon.

Looking forward to reading your updates!
 
Oh! I don't even know where to start! Thanks for the questions/comments and I will try to get to them all right now but I may have to wait depending on how long I can write! It won't be long because I am waiting to get picked up right now.

Ok, so when I came home on Monday from the date with WarMan, I went downstairs to snuggle and talk to PunkRock for a bit. At first he told me everything was fine, but I could see something was bothering him. With a little bit of prodding he told me he was irked again because it seemed like the same thing was happening, as previously in February. He said he was told one thing - that I wasn't dating, and then I suddenly was, and then it was going to be a quick dinner but then it wasn't.

I wanted to be really clear with him about how things were and I was upset right away because in my mind, though things had shifted, I had talked to both him and DarkKnight. We went around in circles before it finally clicked. He was absolutely right - I had two separate conversations on Sunday and though we had discussed the fact that there was no reason for the October wait date, it was DarkKnight I had updated my profile with and DarkKnight I had told it was going to be an actual date.

I had royally screwed things up. I told PunkRock to please communicate with me when he was upset because I need to know these things! I apologized out the wazoo. I think we are 100% clear now but having two husbands I seriously do fuck up from time to time. Lots of times I will tell them the same things twice because I am confused about who I talked to originally. Obviously, this was super important and I still screwed it up.

Sigh. I was a jerkface.

I let him know I was sorry and where things stand now.

As far as the question about how to handle things if sparks fly in more than just a FWB way? Well, this is actually what I am most looking for. I am willing to try out either, but I really would enjoy another deep connection. PunkRock asked me if I was searching for a third husband and that is a resounding no. I am not ready to have that much interwoven-ness in my life. It is difficult juggling the two! WarMan had already asked me that question and I gave him the same answer. This isn't a goal of mine. Shit, having just two husbands was never a goal. It was just so right and obvious that PunkRock had a part of my soul in him.

A boyfriend though, that would work. If it suddenly struck me and WarMan that we wanted to be married - I think I would cry. Seriously. And then we would see what could be done. I think it is crazy premature to be planning a wedding after one date.

I was asked - how do I balance? On a fucking tightrope. It isn't fair to say that I am terrified of losing PunkRock, because I do not believe that our thread is pulled so thin that another relationship could break it without a lot of pulling. He was holding back and not speaking up because he didn't want to damage our calm but I think he knows now he needs to speak up. At this moment I need to be careful, for sure. I do think that is the case in all of my relationships - I walk a line between DarkKnight and PunkRock. I balance their needs. Now I have to handle this new interjection that I have introduced. In a way it's like adding children - we need to feel out how the dynamic will work and there are sure to be bumps. I just have to trust that my obvious care and concern for PunkRock in all things will shine through and he won't doubt that I love him, ever.

So Monday night and all day Tuesday, WarMan texted me consistently. Today too. Whenever I had down time, he was saying hi. I didn't find it annoying at all. The more we talked, the more I liked him. I started feeling butterflies with his answers and looking forward to his questions and replies. He just messaged me to ask if I wanted to go out for ice cream, even though it was late, so I am waiting for him to arrive now.
 
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Thank you, bluebird, for sharing your story including the ups and downs. I probably should have asked my questions in the forum but your family structure is very similar to how Blue & I would like to live (only me as a leg who is open to dating, blue as the hinge.) As such, your experience seemed more relevant :) I'm glad you've worked things out with PunkRock. I hope your ice cream date is awesome :)
 
I got a strawberry slushie. :)

It went well between the two of us. WarMan was a gentleman and really sweet, listening to me babbling on as I tend to do every single moment in my life. We nailed down more plans for Saturday and I am really glad I was able to see him.

THAT SAID, there was some fuckery involved in this meet up as well.

I had messaged PunkRock that I was going out, as he was still at work when I left at 10:15. Apparently his phone had died and he didn't get the message until he was almost home, and anticipating seeing me. So there was some disappointment there. Which really, I guess wasn't a huge thing, as it wasn't our night for a sleepover, but he was still a bit put out I think because he expects to get a good night kiss and I generally climb into bed with him and chit chat before saying goodnight.

So that was a disappointment to him, but the real issue was that he got locked out of the house! Wednesday nights my son goes to trivia, and when he gets home, he always locks the door and shuts off the light. He did that tonight, not realizing that PunkRock had not come home and not knowing that I was out on a date.

Poor PunkRock. The garage door was locked too, as it usually is, but he was hoping. He ended up having to text my daughter to come down and let him in. He messaged me first, but I never answered.

Then I guess DarkKnight got worried when he realized that PunkRock had gotten home by 11 pm and I hadn't returned yet. He texted me three times, asking when I would be home. PunkRock told me that DarkKnight had been worried that I was in an accident, because I never ignore my phone.

The thing was, I put the phone in my little purse and stuck it on the dashboard of WarMan's car. So it was up away from me, and the vibrations weren't audible. Hell.

So, I got home and went to talk to PunkRock and he let me know everything. He gave me sweet kisses and a couple of snuggles and then I came up to DarkKnight, who was sound asleep and snoring. He partially awoke, gave me kisses and snuggles and now he is snoring again.

Dating again is difficult. I feel like I am fucking this up on the back end. For now things are salvaged.

My next date with WarMan will be Saturday. His friend is very excited about meeting me apparently, and she actually bought a WarMachine army
So we will have a nerdy thing to do together. She wants me to join her Pathfinder group and she wants to be besties because she doesn't have a lot of female nerdy friends. I am cautiously optimistic. I told WarMan that I am excited about her too but sometimes these things don't go well between women once they meet. It is great that she is so positive though. I am looking forward to meeting her.

We did talk tons on this date - I am feeing more and more butterflies. He wasn't dressed up nice for this date - he was just wearing a tshirt and shorts - and I have to say I liked his sloppy casual look better. It seemed more authentic maybe? He talked a bunch and it seems to me that a lot of women take advantage of his good nature. He seems like the type that is manipulated very easily. I am glad that if we date, he won't have that to worry about at all. He told me I was the only woman that paid her way on the first date. He said he found that amazing. He paid for my 79 cent slushie tonight though, so I guess now I owe him. Lmao

I like him a lot. He kissed me some more, goodbye, when dropping me off. He is good at it. I think had we been further along I definitely would have gone to his place to sleep with him. Anticipation is nice too though. I have my STD tests tomorrow afternoon.

Oh! He doesn't live in my town, but in DarkKnight's hometown, about 20 minutes away. No mountains to cross in that direction - just a straight shot up the interstate. Definite plus there!
 
Pink Pig, I don't mind at all, any questions. I hope I am being helpful! :)
 
I also forgot to mention that he has already picked up on my issue with compliments - he noticed that I ignored in his emails and texts any compliments. I told him how I had worked on it but clearly still have some more to do.

He was calling me Cutie as a nickname on messaging and I had to tell him to stop. This embarrassed me a bit but I could never deal with that as a nickname. It implies a compliment and I was starting to get tense, wondering when he would text it again. So I asked him to stop and so we had a conversation about this issue. Fuck I wish I didn't have it. I keep thinking I made lots of progress but here he is picking up on it right out of the gate.

I haven't used the SuperBetter app in about 5 months or so but I think I may pull it up again and look at my weirdness.
 
I just talked with DarkKnight, and he downplayed his concern from last night. It was clear though, that moving forward both my guys expect me to look at my phone a little more often. DarkKnight said he was concerned about an auto accident but then he remembered how we were all connected on some "Find My Phone" or "Find My Friends" app and used that to see that it had me at Sonic. So then he went to bed, figuring I wasn't dead or bleeding all over the pavement there. He's so smart sometimes - I don't think I would have thought of that app!
He also said he could see I wasn't ignoring him because the messages said delivered but they didn't say read.

I received the sweetest message last night after WarMan returned home - he thanked me for the date and said "I don't know how good that slushie was for you, but taken off of your lips, it was amazing."

Be still my heart!

I have a distinct glowing feeling about me today.
 
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My plans last night ended up being canceled due to extreme rain (picnic out with friends) so I invited WarMan over to eat with DarkKnight and I. (PunkRock was at work til after 10 pm again.) The guys seem even more alike in person, and they got along really well.

We ate, I gave WarMan a tour and then we sat in my living room - he and I on the couch, and DarkKnight on the loveseat. We just talked for a few hours. They both teased me with jokes and comments, and we told stories. It was a lot of fun. I think I will have trouble if all 3 of these guys get in a room with me - they will have me laughing so hard, I'll cry, I believe!

At 9, DarkKnight went up to bed, and WarMan and I made out on the couch. It got really heated up, but we were controlled. I did go and get my STD tests done yesterday during the day, and I've already got a call this morning that almost all came back clear. They're just waiting on one more culture, but I am not worried. He is going to get his done today, I think.

Anyway, I was shooing him out after 10, and PunkRock came home just as we reached the door. I think that was a little awkward for them both. Poor PunkRock was sweaty and smelly and tired from work, and as it turns out, his car tire has a screw in it now. I ended up driving him to work today and I have to call about getting it taken out and plugged, or getting a whole new tire. I will be doing that soon today.

I talked to PunkRock and ogled his super-fine naked behind as he showered, and then we went up to bed. We had amazing sex and good snuggles all night.

Things are going well. Certainly faster than I expected, but I have never been slow at things, I suppose.
 
I find myself feeling torn today. Does WarMan really like me this much, after just 3 dates? He has really been messaging me a lot, and seems to be sharing so much information with me. Maybe he's just good at doing a snow job and saying what he thinks I want to hear. I asked DarkKnight tonight - did I seriously find a mono guy on OKC who had the choice between just hooking up or seriously dating, that is now actively pursuing me to be his girlfriend?!

I went out today and bought a new dress - on clearance at Marshall's for $20! - and in it I feel fairly fabulous. It's a floor length sleeveless dress with a graphic black and white angled stripe pattern, with bright orange coloring along the bottom. It shows off my curves really well, I think. I painted my toenails a teal shade tonight so the colors would pop against each other.

I am so very excited about seeing him again tomorrow. This has been a slow build this week but I am getting the giggly goo-goo at this moment.

He messaged me today and he said he was going to get his STD testing done tomorrow morning so we will see how that goes.

I let him pick our lunch spot and gave him permission to finally treat me tomorrow, and he texted me a short while ago the name of a place I've never heard of in his town. I asked him for the address and then googled it - it's a super expensive swanky restaurant. I had assumed we'd eat at Fuddrucker's or Red Robin! It makes me feel a bit unsettled that he keeps trying to pay for things and compliment me, and now taking me to a fancy restaurant...I don't need that. It makes me feel sort of weird.

DarkKnight tells me to just enjoy it and that not everyone has an ulterior motive. That you know, maybe WarMan likes me and wants to make a good impression. But I don't need any of that and I've told WarMan that I'm not the type of girl that needs to be wined and dined to have my heart won over. You just be yourself, and if I like you, you're good. DarkKnight told me that maybe WarMan actually wants to do these things and isn't trying to trick me.

From the talking we've done, I dunno. He comes off as a decent, honest, sweet person. He's handsome and funny and very well spoken. Intelligent. I think he's been used a lot in past relationships, and I think he recognizes that but tries to downplay it as not a big deal. It makes me feel like he only knows one way to keep someone interested, so he is now going to try and shower me with stuff. I told him no presents and he was sort of put off by that.

Oh! He cut his facial hair today too! He asked me if it bothered me last night because he was annoyed by it. I told him it definitely distracts from his face, but that it's his face. So, he then sent me a photo of it gone.

I am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow and meeting his friends. I am glad that the dress I got is nice enough to work at the restaurant he is taking me to. I almost didn't find anything and if I had worn what I had clean I would have felt out of place there.
 
Bluebird said:
I find myself feeling torn today. Does WarMan really like me this much, after just 3 dates? He has really been messaging me a lot, and seems to be sharing so much information with me. Maybe he's just good at doing a snow job and saying what he thinks I want to hear. I asked DarkKnight tonight - did I seriously find a mono guy on OKC who had the choice between just hooking up or seriously dating, that is now actively pursuing me to be his girlfriend?!
Click to expand...
He wants a relationship, he likes you, you're both attracted to each other and get along so far. What more needs to be said?

Bluebird said:
I let him pick our lunch spot and gave him permission to finally treat me tomorrow, and he texted me a short while ago the name of a place I've never heard of in his town. I asked him for the address and then googled it - it's a super expensive swanky restaurant. I had assumed we'd eat at Fuddrucker's or Red Robin! It makes me feel a bit unsettled that he keeps trying to pay for things and compliment me, and now taking me to a fancy restaurant...I don't need that. It makes me feel sort of weird.

DarkKnight tells me to just enjoy it and that not everyone has an ulterior motive. That you know, maybe WarMan likes me and wants to make a good impression. But I don't need any of that and I've told WarMan that I'm not the type of girl that needs to be wined and dined to have my heart won over. You just be yourself, and if I like you, you're good. DarkKnight told me that maybe WarMan actually wants to do these things and isn't trying to trick me.
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He probably *is* being himself by taking you there. He might just be a gastronome (foodie) who enjoys fine dining. Foodies usually don't gravitate toward fast food places or chain restaurants (not saying they don't like fast food/casual, but they usually want a variety and appreciate gourmet meals). Maybe he likes to eat at places like that fairly often anyway (I treat myself to a gourmet meal at kind of expensive places at least once every other week). I'll bet he just likes their menu!

Hmm, you don't know what his primary Love Language is yet. It probably makes him feel good to take a woman out and spend money on a good meal. There is nothing wrong with that. My ex-husband was the same way. Lunch menus usually aren't as fancy or expensive as dinner menus at high-end restaurants, anyway, so don't sweat it. Enjoy it and don't be too nervous about it!
 
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You're right - WarMan did tell me that his primary love language was physical touch and his secondary was acts of service. I think that may be why he is a little bit put out, because I am not letting him express the acts of service part. If I analyze it further, DarkKnight reacted the same way when we started dating and I was resistant to him "taking care of me." He would always seem so happy when he could gift me a new pair of shoes or make me breakfast in bed. I mean, he still loves making me tea and bringing me my iPad. :) When I was dating M, he saw this as me being a pretty pretty princess, but they are all things that make DarkKnight so very happy. He needs to take care of me, to show his care and concern for me, if that makes sense.

PunkRock does it to a lesser extent, but that definitely isn't his love language, so when he does things it feels totally different.

So thinking about it, if this is also a major way that WarMan demonstrates that he is in to me, I should probably not be so restrictive. It just isn't how I operate, so I have got to loosen up a bit, I suppose. Though, geez, DarkKnight fills the niche of taking care of me really well. I really don't need two men doing that.


Am I seriously complaining because two men want to buy me things and do things for me? Gah!

WarMan did tell me last night that he deactivated his OKCupid account. He said he doesn't like the distraction and that he'd always choose to focus on just one woman at a time when he is dating them.
 
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