justascientist2
New member
I've been of poly mindset since birth, but most people I know and meet are of the monogamy mindset since it is more popular. If you go onto facebook, for example, perhaps only about ~1/30 of the accounts will say open relationship. In anticipation of the likely thread/topic derailers, I admit this isn't too accurate, but if you feel a need to bicker about this, please just send me a private message instead of flooding the thread with off-topic comments, I promise to edit this post and give you full credit.
Anyway, for these reasons, I meet and know many people whose viewpoints about relationships are, basically, opposite of mine. I would like them to be more knowledgeable, and to see things closer to my way. But, I myself don't have the time to persuade anyone with my own lectures.
Also, and this is very important, such lecturing would not be convincing anyway. That isn't how people work. They don't want unsolicited advice. Also, people only listen to arguments that have been vetted by a lot of other people to indeed be somewhat reasonable. So, if there is an alternative viewpoint that is not popular, most people need a very clear and convincing reason why that mainstream view might not be correct before they will dare even consider the alternative view. Whatever I might say would probably be dismissed on the grounds that it is my own strange viewpoints, anecdotal oddities, etc. Sort of like hearing about some person whose cancer might have gotten got cured by Billy Graham Jr. or something.
From scanning the forums, thus far the "correct" solution to this situation is for me to purchase edition 3 of "The Ethical Slut," and to physically give that book to whomever I feel like convincing. However, there are several problems with that idea.
First, nobody I know has the "motivated time" to read such a long book. They would just stick it in their bookcase and not read more than a few pages. So, I want to know if there is something shorter.
Second, it doesn't match up with my own viewpoints, so it would fail to meet my purpose. For instance, it is too agnostic on the monogamy vs. poly debate. It actually makes no direct attempt to persuade anyone that poly is better than monogamy. Indeed, it says that whatever people like is great! If you are a wife not getting any orgasms, and you don't mind it since you never knew better, that's semi-cool by these authors. Well, not to me. And this is, allegedly, a relatively preachy book! It even says sex is whatever people define it to be! That you can be having sex with the authors by reading the book! I realize this is a popular view within the poly community, but it isn't mine. It also says jealousy just a feeling that people have. I personally think jealousy is a rather bad if not evil emotion, and while I know few would agree with me, I would love to find a video or short book whose author already agrees with me.
Ideally, there might be a video that is linear and clear, focusing on the key issues I think are important, like responses the arguments that poly: causes sadness, causes broken homes, is gross, is disgusting, causes diseases, causes orphans, etc. I am looking for something like a video by good looking and "successful" poly couples about jealously, and why jealousy is bad. I know that the phrase "good looking" will offend people, but it is a real fear that only so-called losers need to consider poly by the people I'd like to persuade that poly is better than monogamy.
So, with that preamble, here's my question. What is, in your opinion, the semi-comprehensive best-for-my-friends-and-family movie, youtube video, or book that might work to persuade people to be closer to my own mindset (even if my own mindset is not your mindset)?
Anyway, for these reasons, I meet and know many people whose viewpoints about relationships are, basically, opposite of mine. I would like them to be more knowledgeable, and to see things closer to my way. But, I myself don't have the time to persuade anyone with my own lectures.
Also, and this is very important, such lecturing would not be convincing anyway. That isn't how people work. They don't want unsolicited advice. Also, people only listen to arguments that have been vetted by a lot of other people to indeed be somewhat reasonable. So, if there is an alternative viewpoint that is not popular, most people need a very clear and convincing reason why that mainstream view might not be correct before they will dare even consider the alternative view. Whatever I might say would probably be dismissed on the grounds that it is my own strange viewpoints, anecdotal oddities, etc. Sort of like hearing about some person whose cancer might have gotten got cured by Billy Graham Jr. or something.
From scanning the forums, thus far the "correct" solution to this situation is for me to purchase edition 3 of "The Ethical Slut," and to physically give that book to whomever I feel like convincing. However, there are several problems with that idea.
First, nobody I know has the "motivated time" to read such a long book. They would just stick it in their bookcase and not read more than a few pages. So, I want to know if there is something shorter.
Second, it doesn't match up with my own viewpoints, so it would fail to meet my purpose. For instance, it is too agnostic on the monogamy vs. poly debate. It actually makes no direct attempt to persuade anyone that poly is better than monogamy. Indeed, it says that whatever people like is great! If you are a wife not getting any orgasms, and you don't mind it since you never knew better, that's semi-cool by these authors. Well, not to me. And this is, allegedly, a relatively preachy book! It even says sex is whatever people define it to be! That you can be having sex with the authors by reading the book! I realize this is a popular view within the poly community, but it isn't mine. It also says jealousy just a feeling that people have. I personally think jealousy is a rather bad if not evil emotion, and while I know few would agree with me, I would love to find a video or short book whose author already agrees with me.
Ideally, there might be a video that is linear and clear, focusing on the key issues I think are important, like responses the arguments that poly: causes sadness, causes broken homes, is gross, is disgusting, causes diseases, causes orphans, etc. I am looking for something like a video by good looking and "successful" poly couples about jealously, and why jealousy is bad. I know that the phrase "good looking" will offend people, but it is a real fear that only so-called losers need to consider poly by the people I'd like to persuade that poly is better than monogamy.
So, with that preamble, here's my question. What is, in your opinion, the semi-comprehensive best-for-my-friends-and-family movie, youtube video, or book that might work to persuade people to be closer to my own mindset (even if my own mindset is not your mindset)?