Which way to turn?

Karma said:
Martial arts DOES NOT TRANSLATE into understanding a woman's sense of timing. Nothing I've discovered in this lifetime does. :D
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Don't you know the women's code?

1. The man will never know all the rules.
2. If it looks like a man is learning the rules the woman must change some of the rules.

:D
 
So aside from schedules, how does everyone balance relationships?

I'm asking because it seems like I go out of my way not to interupt Karmas time with g/f. I only call if I need something. I try to let them have the time they can have, without interuption.

But it seems like lately, I don't get the same in return. Yes we live together. I get him every night. I know that. But even when I ask for time, it gets interupted. Either by phone calls or she needs him for something or it's the only time they can get together.

Recent examples being yesturday. I knew I would be in pain after working for the first time after my back injury. I asked that he be home, and have dinner ready (I'm hypoglycemic and need to adjust eating schedules to regulate my sugar, I was pretty sure I would be dropping by the time I got off work). I knew I would need him. So what happens? JA breaks up with her, her sky is falling, Karma has to rescue her, they show up at work, and I have to wait for him to drive her home (over an hour) before he gets back and can make dinner and hook up my TENS unit.

I know she needed him, I know she needed comfort. So I took my pain pills and sat and waited, cuz well I couldn't do anything else.

So today was my only day off for the next 6 days. I aksed when they were discussing schedules, can I have my days off. All the other days can be negotiable. So where is he? At her place. She's still upset. But he says he'll be home for our 10 pm tv date.


He gets upset when I don't call and interupt them when I need something. But I know she doesn't get as much time as I do, so why is it to much to ask to see my husband for more than a few hours on my day off? I work every weekend and don't even get to go to faire anymore, so why can't I have two F'in days out of 7?

So how do the rest of you do it? Do you have non-negotiable days? What if another partner needs something on one of those days? How do you make sure everyone gets enough time together?
 
Mohegan said:
So aside from schedules, how does everyone balance relationships?

I'm asking because it seems like I go out of my way not to interupt Karmas time with g/f. I only call if I need something. I try to let them have the time they can have, without interuption.

But it seems like lately, I don't get the same in return. Yes we live together. I get him every night. I know that. But even when I ask for time, it gets interupted. Either by phone calls or she needs him for something or it's the only time they can get together.

Recent examples being yesturday. I knew I would be in pain after working for the first time after my back injury. I asked that he be home, and have dinner ready (I'm hypoglycemic and need to adjust eating schedules to regulate my sugar, I was pretty sure I would be dropping by the time I got off work). I knew I would need him. So what happens? JA breaks up with her, her sky is falling, Karma has to rescue her, they show up at work, and I have to wait for him to drive her home (over an hour) before he gets back and can make dinner and hook up my TENS unit.

I know she needed him, I know she needed comfort. So I took my pain pills and sat and waited, cuz well I couldn't do anything else.

So today was my only day off for the next 6 days. I aksed when they were discussing schedules, can I have my days off. All the other days can be negotiable. So where is he? At her place. She's still upset. But he says he'll be home for our 10 pm tv date.


He gets upset when I don't call and interupt them when I need something. But I know she doesn't get as much time as I do, so why is it to much to ask to see my husband for more than a few hours on my day off? I work every weekend and don't even get to go to faire anymore, so why can't I have two F'in days out of 7?

So how do the rest of you do it? Do you have non-negotiable days? What if another partner needs something on one of those days? How do you make sure everyone gets enough time together?
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Ummmm this is a rough one but schedules are great for me; non-negotiable is a tough term though because of kids, school, work, etc. Tentative is good with wiggle room for necessary functions to attend and possible conflicts of some kind. However, I like the once a week set date or overnight, and a meeting either after work or for lunch once a week. Summer is a little different for our situation than the school year because of KT's work schedule. It really is up to how often Karma needs to see gf, and how flexible you are with your time. Can you have a set day for you as a couple only or does your work schedule change week to week? And a set day for you and Karma with friends/socializing etc. should be another day. Gf should have a particular day and maybe meet with him as needed when he is free. I am a schedule geek though. So don't go by me.:eek:
 
We have time pretty much laid out. However, I have asked for exceptions from each and they have done the same. If it were a true emergency all bets are off and we would work togather as a team.

Our last exception was due to needing to finish clear some things up between us.

However, agreeed upon time with us, is held up. It can be fluid, but only with the agreement of all. I personally find anything else disrespectful.

I am surprised, Karama didn't take your physical needs into consideration and place your tens unit on you prior to taking GF home. I would think your physical needs would have taken precedence over her emotional turmoil.

Not sure if I should have said that or not. However, in my situation it is a boundary I would make.
 
I guess we'll figure it out as we get more used to me working. I'm just frustrated. I knew I would need him this week. I told him that. Said I'll need you home after work all week cuz I'll be in pain.

Karma has a super hero complex. If someone calls, he must go save the day, unless that someone is me. He'll get to me, I'm not ignored, just put on hold. Last night was good. He made it home for our tv date and then we had some play time and snuggle time. It was so nice to fall asleep in his arms.

I wake up to find a facebook comment to g/f that he'll be over today. Okay not big deal, but was I gonna be told? Is he going to be home when I get off work?

I think the schedule I would like most would be - my days off are mine. They can have the time I am work and one or two full days (like my 9 hr work days on the weekend). As long as things around the house don't get neglected. It still gives them time during the week and longer time frames for dates or whatever, and allows for me to see my husband, and have him here while my back adjusts to work.

Is that too unreasonable?
 
G/f and I worked out a schedule I think will work. Hopefully Karma is okay with it. He seemed to be, but I also bombarded him with it as soon as he got up. I made my need to have him here after work, very well known, so hopefully that will be the end of that.
 
Mohegan said:
G/f and I worked out a schedule I think will work. Hopefully Karma is okay with it. He seemed to be, but I also bombarded him with it as soon as he got up. I made my need to have him here after work, very well known, so hopefully that will be the end of that.
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Good for the 2 of you to take this on. It seems to me that Karma is not the best at scheduling, so if he knows that his 2 women are happy with the arrangement I bet that he's more than happy to go along with it.
 
Derbylicious said:
Good for the 2 of you to take this on. It seems to me that Karma is not the best at scheduling, so if he knows that his 2 women are happy with the arrangement I bet that he's more than happy to go along with it.
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I think you're right, cuz last night was wonderful! I came home to him making dinner, the bed was made and covers pulled down, he laid out my pajamma's and had the TENS unit ready and waiting! It was so nice to know that even though he had his time with g/f, I was still thought of.

I'm hoping this schedule works out. I was too tired to really stay up and talk with him, but I think they had a good night. My only concern now is making getting my schedule straightened out so that my sugar isn't crashing when I get home, I'm awake enough to stay up and spend time with him.
 
Karma and I finaly took the love language quiz. I need affirmation, he needs physical contact.

It kind of goes back to the theory that If I feel loved I am more will to give love. Last night, even though I fell asleep :(, I felt loved. I'm still carrying that with me today. It makes me want to return the favor so to speak. Hopefully I'll be able to stay awake tonight.
 
That's great Mo! And way to go Karma!! Don't know if I missed this in this or another thread - but where is the love language quiz (book or online?) I think that is something 2Rings and I need to take. I think I'm like you Mo - I need to feel loved or my mind starts to wander and insecurity sets in.

I hope the scheduling works out for you guys!
 
I just found out I'm a quality time person...but I already knew that :D
 
Had a good anniversary. 8 yrs of being together. Just wow. So much has gone on in 8 yrs. I can't believe my one night stand altered my life in such a way.

Work has been, well work. My schedule is horrible, but I'm making money again, making friends and have something to keep my brain occupied.

Karma had g/f over Sunday night and I wasn't too happy about it, but they did it for me. I had told him that he could stay out later, that I'd get something from a drivethru and just crash for the night. They decided after two 9 hrs days and almost 6 days straight, I didn't need to be home alone. So Karma cooked one of my favorite meals, and hooked the computer up in our room. It was nice having him here. Nice that they thought of me.

And it was kind of weird. I didn't sit in there and brood like I used to. Other than the fact that they had the TV volume at an insane level, I didn't mind that they were out there.

I still don't know that she and I will ever be close. But so far things are going much better emotionaly. I was affraid I was taking a break too late. But it seems it was exactly what I needed.

Now I just have to figure out how to deal with Panda moving in a month.
 
Happy anniversary...belatedly my dear! Poweroutage yesterday and today until recently. Electricity back on...yea! Anyway, hope you are well today. HELLO Karma!
 
'Ello Glory, enjoy your electricity. ;)
 
Panic attacks while sleeping, mixed with pain and Karma's phone constantly going off- equals little sleep in the last two days. I'm glad I only have 4 hrs of work tonight, but have another set of back to back 9 hr days sat and sun.

Am contemplating SSI. But I doubt it'll get approved. Plus I'm really young to apply for disability. But I don't know what to do anymore. Karma wants me to talk to Wal mart about less hrs, but I don't know who to talk to or what to ask for. We need the money, but 9 hr days are killing me and working every weekend takes away from seeing friends.

Oh well, guess I'll figure something out. For now it's off to work.
 
Mohegan said:
Am contemplating SSI. But I doubt it'll get approved. Plus I'm really young to apply for disability. But I don't know what to do anymore. Karma wants me to talk to Wal mart about less hrs, but I don't know who to talk to or what to ask for. We need the money, but 9 hr days are killing me and working every weekend takes away from seeing friends.
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First thing to do is find out who to talk to about your schedule. I'm sure your doctor should be able to give you a note that would validate your need for an altered schedule (maybe 6hrs vs 9s and 4s). It never hurts to try and apply for SSI, especially if your employer is unwilling to alter your schedule.

As for the weekends, well we've all been there. Better than being on call at 4am. We have a friend that has missed a lot of activities with family and friends because he is always on call and tanker trucks don't wait until daylight hours to flip over and explode, he does hazmat clean up.
 
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