Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Admittedly I read this book at least 20 years ago. Amazon says its in its 4th edition. The list of certain contents doesn't sound outrageous at all!

Up-to-date information on hormone testing and hormone therapy, with new options and new research
A whole new take on losing weight and training your mind to release extra pounds
New insights on the relationship between thyroid, Hashimoto's Disease, and Epstein Bar Syndrome
New, less invasive and more effective fibroid treatments
Which supplements are better than botox for keeping skin looking youthful
How taking the supplement Pueraria mirifica can optimize many aspects of midlife health and wellness
Why older women don't need the HPV vaccine

But yeah, if you just want facts about hormones and periods and sleep, hot flashes, etc., there are probably better sources at this point. I am so fucking pissed from reading that article about her and her literally fatal QAnon bullshit.
 
Admittedly I read this book at least 20 years ago. Amazon says its in its 4th edition. The list of certain contents doesn't sound outrageous at all!

Up-to-date information on hormone testing and hormone therapy, with new options and new research
A whole new take on losing weight and training your mind to release extra pounds
New insights on the relationship between thyroid, Hashimoto's Disease, and Epstein Bar Syndrome
New, less invasive and more effective fibroid treatments
Which supplements are better than botox for keeping skin looking youthful
How taking the supplement Pueraria mirifica can optimize many aspects of midlife health and wellness
Why older women don't need the HPV vaccine

But yeah, if you just want facts about hormones and periods and sleep, hot flashes, etc., there are probably better sources at this point. I am so fucking pissed from reading that article about her and her literally fatal QAnon bullshit.
None of that is what I am reading now. It’s all personal experiences about her divorce and how she had to let go of issues to heal herself, and that you have to do that too, or you’ll suffer through perimenopause.

I’m sorry I gave her any money. I’m going to check and see if I can get a refund, actually!
 
8A1279AD-7D26-41B0-9372-9554D9AB2E34.jpgNice! So far, so good. I hope I do get my money back so I can buy a different book!
 
I went and saw the Free Guy movie last night with SirGawain and MisterMoonbeam. It was amazingly hilarious and super fun! I am hoping to go and see it again with DarkKnight and LittleMichigan this weekend. Now I can’t get the Mariah Carey song “Fantasy” out of my head. 😂

Right now I am waiting for MisterMoonbeam and DarkKnight to get back here from the store so I can drive to Gaithersburg. Tonight is supposed to be my night at SirGawain’s, and hopefully the rain holds off for a while so we can enjoy some time at the Montgomery County Fair. I’ve changed my clothes twice because the humidity is insane. I can’t breathe when outside! Ugh.
 
I went to the Montgomery County Fair with SirGawain last night. We both had a great time and ate lots of yummy food! He won me a rainbow unicorn stuffie, which was super cool because the last time we went to a fair together, I won him a stuffie! Lol

We had some good sex too after we got back to his place. 🍆 I was a dumbass though and stayed up til 3 am reading. I finished the book, but now I am a zombie this morning!

I have two meal giveaways to push out today too - garlic bread and lasagna, and a breakfast meal with either sausage or bacon, English muffins, eggs, butter and then a choice of milk, apple juice or orange juice.

21794840-FAAA-4739-9750-4B8E7ED7EFC2.jpeg
 
Lazy day today - for real! I’ve only answered two Blessing Box messages. Lol MisterMoonbeam has the day off, and we’re both home and in our PJs. I’m marathoning The Single Wives and he’s kinda zoned out with his phone. He ordered in Nikko’s for lunch and now I am full and it’s even more unlikely that I will accomplish anything of merit today. Though I guess, sometimes that’s needed too.
 
So I heard back from my regular doctor, and he’s told me to not take the Valtrex. He said the potential side effects are such that he would not want me on this long term. He said the absolute best I can do right now is to not have sex with SirGawain when he has an outbreak, and to continue to use condoms.

This is frustrating to me because SirGawain has never had an outbreak! Lol Like, okay then.

My doctor also responded about the birth control prescription I was given to help control my wacky cycles and hot flashes. He said that sometimes the pills are the way to go but sometimes not, and if I want to discuss that I should set up an in-person office visit with him.

Uggggh. So everything is flipped back to being as it was before my gyno visit. Only, of course, that I’ve had my test results back and at least I have confirmation that I’m still negative for all STDs.
 
How about VivaGel?
 
Really down and depressed today. I had a bad dream where MisterMoonbeam sat me down and told me he never really loved me and was just faking it. Lovely. When I woke up, the real MisterMoonbeam was wrapped around me and snoring. ❤️

I’m in a funk now though. I have a lot of cleaning today because my cat Lenny is sick and vomiting everywhere. I think he has a bad hairball. I have stuff sprayed down, and ai have laundry going. I’m about to shower and DarkKnight left to do grocery shopping - he’s bringing home Arby’s for lunch so hopefully if I get clean and eat, I’ll have the emotional and physical energy to pick up all the puke.

SirGawain is coming over at 3 pm to play Pandemic Legacy - he’s supposed to be spending the night, so I am looking forward to that at least.
 
Never heard of it! Just looked it up and it says not available in the US.
There has to be some kind of antiviral lube, it was Puck who told me it existed in the first place. He didn't name a brand but said he has a casual partner that always uses it.
 
So I heard back from my regular doctor, and he’s told me to not take the Valtrex. He said the potential side effects are such that he would not want me on this long term. He said the absolute best I can do right now is to not have sex with SirGawain when he has an outbreak, and to continue to use condoms.

This is frustrating to me because SirGawain has never had an outbreak! Lol Like, okay then.

My doctor also responded about the birth control prescription I was given to help control my wacky cycles and hot flashes. He said that sometimes the pills are the way to go but sometimes not, and if I want to discuss that I should set up an in-person office visit with him.

Uggggh. So everything is flipped back to being as it was before my gyno visit. Only, of course, that I’ve had my test results back and at least I have confirmation that I’m still negative for all STDs.

It seems we have circled back to the same conversation from almost four years ago. 😁

Risk / reward. Does the long term risk outweigh the benefit…..and potentially for x2 other partners who are not rewarded from this?

Post in thread 'Poly and Potential Positive Partners'
https://polyamory.com/threads/poly-and-potential-positive-partners.92326/post-369602
 
It seems we have circled back to the same conversation from almost four years ago. 😁

Risk / reward. Does the long term risk outweigh the benefit…..and potentially for x2 other partners who are not rewarded from this?

Post in thread 'Poly and Potential Positive Partners'
https://polyamory.com/threads/poly-and-potential-positive-partners.92326/post-369602
Yeah, the risk is worth it to me. I date people, not diagnoses.

As always, all of my partners have had conversations about it with me and we’re all good. The woman MisterMoonbeam was dating when he started seeing me last year was HSV2+, so he was comfortable with the idea. When I let him know I was talking with SirGawain, he was quick to bring that up again - we are of a similar mind on the issue.

I definitely want to minimize the risk as best I can, but a + status is not a dealbreaker for me.
 
I got my period this morning. Lovely. Only 4 days early. I’m really torn about starting the birth control pills, but I think I am going to wait until I talk to my doctor about them. I don’t feel comfortable about the gynecologist who prescribed them since she was an idiot about the Valtrex.

In other news we put a padlock on our new storage unit last night, for the Blessing Box. I am so stupid excited! I have no idea how much it is going to cost - it’s either $20 a month or $30 a month, but both are under market value so we are taking it! I have a donor paying the full cost for the rest of the year, so I have so much relief! I posted today about the Baby Day giveaway, so that’s on the schedule for September now.

221EEFF7-ED7E-4AE8-A82E-969B7C27CF38.jpeg

Seriously though, I still can’t believe how much my little donation box has grown! I did this. I built this from a grassroots box out by the street to a nonprofit buying a BUILDING next year! I may not pull a salary - yet - but the positive impact on my community has been huge. It really has. I’m amazed when I really think back. I had a little bookcase with two shelves for extra donations, and now I have a full shed and a storage unit, and an entire overflow room to handle the stuff moving through here! Oh, an a dedicated team of volunteers, including a furniture delivery guy.

I’m feeling really optimistic and happy today, which is a huge change from yesterday!
 
So tired this morning! I spent the night last night with SirGawain, after adopting a kitten at the shelter. His other kitten needed a friend! This little boy is still unnamed - considering how long it took Mad Martigan to finally have a name, I’m not holding out hope any time soon! My front runners are Jesper and Gulliver.

C6073EA9-2602-4EF4-A262-6D3BB26C7BD1.jpeg

The plan was I was just going to stay in Frederick until Saturday morning, but I forgot my laptop case so I had to come back to Hagerstown today. SirGawain had decided to work from home today as well, but he forgot his laptop cords at work so we both ended up at different places. Lol I am heading back over there after I get out of bed again and shower.

My goal for today is to produce a bunch of paperwork. I need to finally switch my life insurance payment to a different account, I have to complete my annual state charity financial filings, and I want a household budget in place for September. I WILL finish writing my nonprofit bylaws today. I also have to produce a list of Blessing Box events through the rest of the year. Whoo!
 
ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh

My relationship with SirGawain took a huge hit yesterday evening. I was at his house and he called me on his drive home (as he almost always does). He told me that he had contacted his ex-girlfriend’s husband and talked to him for a while. Why? Well, he said 1) this guy is his friend and he hasn’t spoken to him in a while (okay, fair) but also 2) he felt like his ex was poking him in the head to call. Apparently while dating, he felt like her witchy ways allowed her to send him a message telepathically when she wanted to hear from him. He said she had given him a headache 3 days in a row and so he had to answer her and see what was going on.

Sigh. After telling me that, he said that he didn’t care about her, but that he was worried maybe something was wrong with her husband. I said, really? How long did it take for you to ask about HER then, if the call was about the husband? He admitted it was right away. And the husband didn’t bring her up, SirGawain asked.

I told him the ONLY rule I had for our relationship was no contacting this chick. My boundary is that I will NOT be involved with her at all, and if he starts talking with her, I am walking away. I will not be involved in her toxicity and won’t stick around to see him abused.

He said he had to do something to relieve the headache. That she was reaching out. I asked did he think that she was asking to talk to him while fucking the guy she cheated with and is still with? Because it continues to sound like she most definitely wants to nothing to do with him, has moved on and would not be reaching out, telepathically or by picking up the phone.


I told him I couldn’t discuss this over the phone and hung up. (Not rudely, just told him I was hanging up.) He called me back a short bit after and asked if I would still be there when he got home and I said yes but wasn’t going to talk on the phone about this.

I was really upset so I spoke to MisterMoonbeam on the phone. He says that lots of pagans think they can do things like linking but the important thing to focus on is that it’s all about manifesting what you want. If SirGawain doesn’t want his ex in his brain, he could decide he’s done with that. You live your truth. He’s still letting her control him and still wants her to be in control. This made perfect sense to me.

Then SirGawain picked me up and we went to dinner. I told him that this needs to stop now - if he was going to involve the ex in his life, and try to reach out or find out about her like that, then I am gone. I respect myself too much to destroy my calm with having her connected to me. I won’t do it. He said that he felt I was being unfair, because I still bring up PunkRock in conversations. I said, yeah, because I’m not erasing my past. I can say I went somewhere or did something with PunkRock. That’s different. I’m not calling up his friends and family and asking how he’s doing. I don’t even bring him up with my children - because that’s their relationship with him, not mine. And it wouldn’t be healthy for me to be connected to him in any way still. It doesn’t help. He said yeah, he guesses I am right, and that he understands why I am upset.

He didn’t apologize. He didn’t say it wouldn’t happen again. He just said okay he understands why I am upset.

Ugh. So anyway, these headaches. He hasn’t been taking his blood pressure medicine. I asked MisterMoonbeam to check it just now. (Everyone is at my house to play Pandemic Legacy season 1 today.) It’s 213 over 123.

Yeah.

That’s all I have to say right now.
 
And we beat the entire game! Yay! We didn’t get the highest score, but hit the positive second tier ending. I’m so glad to have played Pandemic Legacy 1 through again. Super fun!

After the game, I asked MisterMoonbeam to take SirGawain’s blood pressure again. 226/123 I told him I really wanted him to go to the ER. He had made comments earlier in the evening that he didn’t want to live anyway and didn’t care how high it got. WTF. I was almost in tears. I never know what to say except stupid shit. He finally agreed to go.

So I am writing this from the ER. Triage got him back immediately and they are checking to be sure that these several days of elevated pressure didn’t damage his kidneys. They’re going to get him something to lower the blood pressure tonight and then hopefully send us home so he can start on his prescription that he hasn’t been taking. Hopefully this will go smoothly and we won’t be here long.
 
His EKG came back abnormal and they think he may have some damage to his heart. So the hospital is admitting SirGawain tonight. The medicine they gave still isn’t bringing his blood pressure down enough either. Right now it’s 194/104.

Once he gets a room I am heading home to sleep, as I need to pickup BugGirl at noon from her sober house. She’s earned two days out a week, so she was home today and mowed our lawn. I paid for her, LittleMichigan and LM’s boyfriend to go to see Free Guy at the movies. Then they all hung out. So tomorrow she’s supposed to come over to do some cleaning and she wants to work on a project of hers. So I will bring her home and then head back to Frederick to be with SirGawain.
 
SirGawain’s potassium level was down to 2.5. They gave him two huge horse pills and an IV infusion to get it back to normal. The doctor told him that nothing was going to get better if that number was as low as it was. They finally got him into a private room shortly after midnight and once I met the nurses and his blood pressure was down under 200/100, I went home.

I ended up crashing with MisterMoonbeam, as I got home at about 1 am. DarkKnight can’t stay up that late without having issues, so that was okay. I woke up a short bit ago and we had a discussion on the couch after he made me some hot chai. Apparently he stopped taking HIS high blood pressure medicine in February when he needed a doctor visit to refill the prescription. He sat with me and used the cuff - yeah, it’s not good. He said he would take more readings today and tomorrow, and send a message to the doctor through Patient Portal and see if they will refill it that way. If not, he promised to make an appointment.

Someone this morning joked that I do have a type. Sigh. They’re not wrong. It made me laugh, but in a macabre sort of way.

I have a headache this morning so I’ve already taken two ibuprofen. At least I know it’s not high blood pressure! I just had mine taken when I went for my gyno visit and it was 123/82. I always tend to hover over normal, if not low.

We had a house warming party to attend today at my gamer friend’s place, where my son is living. That’s canceled. I’m going to shower this morning and get some more laundry done. I have to pick up BugGirl at noon from the sober house and then drop her off at our home. She’s been saying she wants some quiet uninterrupted time to work on writing her autobiography. That’s a required assignment in order to be released from where she’s living in December. So she can work on that today.

I need to make sure LittleMichigan can take her back to the sober house at 8 pm tonight if I’m still in Frederick then. I don’t know what time SirGawain’s echocardiogram is scheduled for, but they wanted to check the damage that was done to his heart. He won’t be able to go home til after that, at the least. I sent him a message a short bit ago, but I don’t know if they’re letting him sleep for a bit. I’m sure he will message me when he’s able.
 
Hi Bluebird, just writing to say I am fascinated by the fact that SirGawain imagined his ex was trying to contact him via witchcraft (and "giving him a headache"), when in fact he was sick and needed to go to the hospital.
 
Back
Top