ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh
My relationship with SirGawain took a huge hit yesterday evening. I was at his house and he called me on his drive home (as he almost always does). He told me that he had contacted his ex-girlfriend’s husband and talked to him for a while. Why? Well, he said 1) this guy is his friend and he hasn’t spoken to him in a while (okay, fair) but also 2) he felt like his ex was poking him in the head to call. Apparently while dating, he felt like her witchy ways allowed her to send him a message telepathically when she wanted to hear from him. He said she had given him a headache 3 days in a row and so he had to answer her and see what was going on.
Sigh. After telling me that, he said that he didn’t care about her, but that he was worried maybe something was wrong with her husband. I said, really? How long did it take for you to ask about HER then, if the call was about the husband? He admitted it was right away. And the husband didn’t bring her up, SirGawain asked.
I told him the ONLY rule I had for our relationship was no contacting this chick. My boundary is that I will NOT be involved with her at all, and if he starts talking with her, I am walking away. I will not be involved in her toxicity and won’t stick around to see him abused.
He said he had to do something to relieve the headache. That she was reaching out. I asked did he think that she was asking to talk to him while fucking the guy she cheated with and is still with? Because it continues to sound like she most definitely wants to nothing to do with him, has moved on and would not be reaching out, telepathically or by picking up the phone.
I told him I couldn’t discuss this over the phone and hung up. (Not rudely, just told him I was hanging up.) He called me back a short bit after and asked if I would still be there when he got home and I said yes but wasn’t going to talk on the phone about this.
I was really upset so I spoke to MisterMoonbeam on the phone. He says that lots of pagans think they can do things like linking but the important thing to focus on is that it’s all about manifesting what you want. If SirGawain doesn’t want his ex in his brain, he could decide he’s done with that. You live your truth. He’s still letting her control him and still wants her to be in control. This made perfect sense to me.
Then SirGawain picked me up and we went to dinner. I told him that this needs to stop now - if he was going to involve the ex in his life, and try to reach out or find out about her like that, then I am gone. I respect myself too much to destroy my calm with having her connected to me. I won’t do it. He said that he felt I was being unfair, because I still bring up PunkRock in conversations. I said, yeah, because I’m not erasing my past. I can say I went somewhere or did something with PunkRock. That’s different. I’m not calling up his friends and family and asking how he’s doing. I don’t even bring him up with my children - because that’s their relationship with him, not mine. And it wouldn’t be healthy for me to be connected to him in any way still. It doesn’t help. He said yeah, he guesses I am right, and that he understands why I am upset.
He didn’t apologize. He didn’t say it wouldn’t happen again. He just said okay he understands why I am upset.
Ugh. So anyway, these headaches. He hasn’t been taking his blood pressure medicine. I asked MisterMoonbeam to check it just now. (Everyone is at my house to play Pandemic Legacy season 1 today.) It’s 213 over 123.
Yeah.
That’s all I have to say right now.