Welcome. I'm sorry to hear about the break up.
Even if wanted or the best solution in a situation? Those usually come with some sadness. If you need to vent go ahead. You could post here or even
start a blog thread.
I think Kevin and Marcus gave good suggestions so I'm going to add to that train of thought.
Could also think about
comfort in, kvetch out.
Learning how to ask for help is a skill like any other. One grows it by doing. I think of it like a 100 lb bag. If that is too much for ME? Why would I dump it all on one person? Then they have to lug it. Instead, I try to spread it out across my friends and family. And I choose to ask people who might have bandwidth to take some of my load on for a bit. I don't ask people who just had a new baby, had someone die in the family, etc. They have their own load right then.
Your partner ALSO got broken up with. So he might not have the spoons to take on being your support system right now. Then it's like double load for him because he is inside the system. Maybe he can in small ways like a hug, or bringing you tissues if you are crying or make you a cup of tea. Like very small and specific.
Be ok with it if he can't do it though. Offer what small ways you could do for him, and if what he wants is space? Give him space. It doesn't sound like you two have been here before. So you don't already know how to deal with this triad break up space. You can't go "Oh, in triad break ups, I'm always ___ for the first ___ weeks and he's always ____. So best that we do ____ and then try ____." YKWIM?
If you need to talk/process a lot of stuff? Some of it might be trigger-y for him because he's trying to do his own grief process in his own way. Maybe he'd be up for talking later down when it is not so fresh. Maybe not ever. And maybe the experience leads to discovering not liking to triad for this very reason -- the break up dynamics.
So think about your support systems and who might help with what. Start with YOU. This is opportunity to get to know your own self. When was the last time you broke up with someone? What helped? What didn't? Does your list of self care things need updating?
I don't know if you are "out" as poly to friends and family. But even if you aren't you could ask for simple help like bringing a meal or come help mow the lawn or walk the dog or whatever. You don't have to tell details of what happened - just say you aren't feeling great and could use a little help/support like some small errands so you can get in some extra naps but still have ____ get done. Then remember to thank the person, and some time later down when they have a thing? YOU offer to go mow their lawn or walk their dog or pick up meds or whatever.
is written for the friend, but maybe it helps you articulate requests. Like "Oh. I could ask ___ if they might be willing to do that."
I hope with the passing of time you find peace and healing.
HTH!
Galagirl