Oh maybe I missed a reply. Thanks
Am I poly? Could really use some help, I’m feeling very lost.
- Thread starter goldie33
- Start date
Here's a thread that might be interesting for you to read:
I don’t know. It’s just a new idea to me I think.
Then it sounds like you would benefit from doing the inner-work to be able to have mature poly relationships where anyone can choose to see other people. "I don't know" shouldn't be a permanent state of being.
I agree with you. I like the idea of having multiple partners but them only being with me, which I guess sounds like a harem. I realize it sounds selfish and I don’t want to be selfish.
You JUST learned the word "polyamory." It's ok to sit with it some. EVERYTHING is a new idea right now.
"I don't know" is ok for now. But if you are actually going to poly date? Part of your preparation work might include digging into that some.
"Open for just me, but not for you" isn't something people are gonna RUSH to sign up for. There can be some people who like mono-poly relationships, but you are getting into smaller and smaller numbers the more "niche" you get with it.
And if you only want that kind of dynamic to enable you to avoid doing personal work? Best to do your personal work first anyway.
It's not gonna be a healthy mono-poly dynamic if the individuals aren't actually healthy in themselves.
But if you ARE healthy in yourself and that's what you like best? Say so. There could be people with that kink who want to share that with you.
"I don't know" is ok for now. But if you are actually going to poly date? Part of your preparation work might include digging into that some.
"Open for just me, but not for you" isn't something people are gonna RUSH to sign up for. There can be some people who like mono-poly relationships, but you are getting into smaller and smaller numbers the more "niche" you get with it.
And if you only want that kind of dynamic to enable you to avoid doing personal work? Best to do your personal work first anyway.
It's not gonna be a healthy mono-poly dynamic if the individuals aren't actually healthy in themselves.
But if you ARE healthy in yourself and that's what you like best? Say so. There could be people with that kink who want to share that with you.
Hello goldie33,
You do sound poly. My only question is, would you be okay with it if your current boyfriend was also poly? If he dated another woman, would you get jealous? It sounds like you would. There is such a thing as mono/poly relationships and they have been known to work, but your current boyfriend would have to consent to that. As for the other guy you've developed feelings for, he is a non-starter because you would have to break up with your current boyfriend in order to date that other guy. He has made it clear that he is not interested in any poly relationship whatsoever. You can still have feelings for him of course.
It sounds like you want a situation where you are poly but your partners are mono. I don't think you can get that with your current setup, but that doesn't mean you aren't poly. Perhaps we could say you are mono/poly.
Just some thoughts,
Kevin T.
You do sound poly. My only question is, would you be okay with it if your current boyfriend was also poly? If he dated another woman, would you get jealous? It sounds like you would. There is such a thing as mono/poly relationships and they have been known to work, but your current boyfriend would have to consent to that. As for the other guy you've developed feelings for, he is a non-starter because you would have to break up with your current boyfriend in order to date that other guy. He has made it clear that he is not interested in any poly relationship whatsoever. You can still have feelings for him of course.
It sounds like you want a situation where you are poly but your partners are mono. I don't think you can get that with your current setup, but that doesn't mean you aren't poly. Perhaps we could say you are mono/poly.
Just some thoughts,
Kevin T.