About Polyamory.com

icesong

Moderator
Staff member
By the way, participation at www.polyamory.com seems to have dropped off by about half to two thirds since I dropped out a while back on account of being verbally abused by a certain rather overly self-assured blowhard many, many moons back. I'd guess the participation level is closer to one third of what it was before.

I would perhaps suggest that that has more to do with Facebook and the abundance of poly communities there, although they have a different feel than this one than it does site design etc...
 

Tinwen

Active member
I hope this is not an intrusive additional thread. I simply didn't know where I could post a comment about the Polyamory.com which would be sure to reach everyone who would (should?) be interested. In any case, it seemed like we needed a place to talk with one another about these fora themselves.
I don't have much to say about the Dating and Friendships area, but I do like the idea to talk about the forum itself, be it about the design, the guidelines and policies, or anything else.

It seems a bit unfruitful though to suggest changes if we don't even know who's authorized and capable of implementing them.

Who made the forum? I (s)he still around? :)
 

Al99

Active member
but I do like the idea to talk about the forum itself, be it about the design, the guidelines and policies, or anything else.

It seems a bit unfruitful though to suggest changes if we don't even know who's authorized and capable of implementing them.

Who made the forum? I (s)he still around?

I think I asked this once before in a post - but do we even know who owns the domain name? Who is paying for the domain name registration and for the bandwidth to run it? It's a fairly busy site - much more so in terms of unregistered folks reading it than those of us who actively participate. I doubt it's being hosted for free - unless the owner or another poly advocate happens to also own a web hosting company. Al
 

rauhajoule

New member
I just stumbled across this post from 2009:

Hey everyone ;) Better late than never.. felt I should also do an introduction since everybody else already did such a good job :p

I'm a 29 year old guy from Antwerp, Belgium. City of unlimited love diamonds ;) Been into several long term relationships where after 1+ years I always suddenly felt the urge that I wanted to connect and love others next to my current girlfriend. Never having heard about the concept of polyamory I even planned writing a book about it! When I was at page 5 I suddenly discovered something else next to the bonobos (look into these amazing monkeys by the way, it's so much better to compare humans to bonobos instead of chimpansees!). Polyamory! I felt so relieved and awed to discover that my dream already existed! Time-compressing forward I decided to buy this domain from its former owners, promising them that I would do great things with it. Unfortunately I didn't do much with the domain in the last 1-2 years, being busy creating on of the biggest dating sites on the internet. I can't share the name right now, but it's a site that's almost as big as adultfriendfinder. I'm planning to introduce the concept of polyamory to all of our 8 million members, creating a massive global awareness. Many of the people on these sites are already aware of the concept of swinging, so the transition from swinging to the next level 'polyamory' might come somewhat more natural. Not too sure what to expect from this, but it might get interesting. Some more about myself: I'm an open minded, sensitive and loving guy - I love alternative things like meditation, incense, candles, fireplace, stargazing, cuddling, deeply connecting, and my life phrase is that for the best things in life you only need eachother! Hope you enjoyed my intro ;)
 

Al99

Active member
Interesting - good find! Perhaps the dating site was successful and he hosts polyamory.com on the dating site servers.
 

Leetah

Member
I spent time this afternoon seeing if I could track down which network of dating sites he was involved with. Kinda sounded like a Spark Networks type of thing- multiple niche dating sites. Olivier clearly had plans for something more elaborate here but never got to it.

Leetah
 

ImaginaryIllusion

Administrator
Staff member
Admin note!!!

Ok, since this is going dangerously close to doxxing territory, let's end it right here.

Owner and Authorities
Olivier is the owner of the board, and he has a life that he manages quite well, and is no one's business to be digging around in! If he chooses to divulge anything, I'm sure he would post it accordingly, but otherwise, any other attempts to invade his privacy will result in immediate removal!


I have all the necessary authorities to change and modify the board as needed to respond to most situations, and access to the owner if more was required. So, first off, I'll be moving the two or so threads discussing idea's to the forum usage area, and get it out of general discussions.

Changes Discussions
Second, if you want discussion about certain forum changes you'd like to see, by all means feel free to suggest, and discuss, but as with all discussions, keep it respectful, and don't confuse polite disagreement with an insult.

Keep in mind, just because it is suggested, the idea may still not be implemented. I may be open to solid and well justified ideas, but there's no obligation on my part.

Dating Area
As it involves the dating area, it is, and always has been for the express purpose of containing the "looking for xyz" posts to a contained area and keep it out of the discussion forums. This isn't a dating site, nor is there any interest, or mandate to become one, or to facilitate it. Accordingly, the exact amount of resources is allocated to it's functionality that it requires to serve it's purpose... to facilitate discussion about poly in the discussion areas of the forum by keeping them clear of "seeking" posts.
This was particularly necessary since at one point there was several active members who couldn't resist poaching such adverts as an excuse to harass and pontificate at new members who had no interest in being lectured.

It has a search function to get anyone that really wants to dig more efficiently.

I hope that clarifies the situation.
-II
 

Leetah

Member
:eek: ooog! I did not mean to wander into doxxing territory! He mentioned his work as though he was planning to discuss it and my investigating shoes took over. Sorry.

Leetah
 

Al99

Active member
ImaginaryIllusion, thanks for the information regarding ownership. It is reassuring to simply know that we have an anonymous benefactor that maintains the hosting of the forum, and that the moderator can access them if necessary. Al
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
Thanks, II, for clarifying. I think it's a bit odd that River is suddenly so aggressively demanding admins "improve" or dump the Unicorn Hunter containment area, just to fulfill his desire to find friends or lovers in his small town.

Dump it. It's crap.

Really now.

And he won't see this because it's apparent he still has me on ignore from years ago. :rolleyes:
 

River

New member
Thanks, II, for clarifying. I think it's a bit odd that River is suddenly so aggressively demanding admins "improve" or dump the Unicorn Hunter containment area, just to fulfill his desire to find friends or lovers in his small town.

Really now.

And he won't see this because it's apparent he still has me on ignore from years ago. :rolleyes:

Magdlyn, I have only one person in these fora on ignore, and it isn't you. However, if you continue to misrepresent my words' meaning through exaggeration of this sort, I may eventually add you to the list. I'm sure that would not bother you.

"Aggressively demanding" is an inaccurate interpretation of the spirit of my words. I did say that the section in question is "crap" and that it'd probably be better to dump it than to keep it. But that's hardly a demand -- and everyone agrees (so far) that the section is crap.

No one -- not a single person -- in my life sees me as "aggressively demanding," as my way of being with people is so obviously quite the opposite of that. I do, however, often speak my mind in a very direct way. Being direct is hardly identical with being demanding. I did so in my terse suggestion that perhaps it would be better to get rid of the Dating & Friendships on account of it being poorly designed for its ostensible (to any outsider) function. Now I understand that it is actually serving just the function it was intended for, which is not its ostensible function. Kinda reminds me of the current US EPA that way.
 

ImaginaryIllusion

Administrator
Staff member
It seems you two might have to take this argument to PM's and hug it out.

People can read source posts for themselves here... so it isn't necessary to add spin.
There's also a difference between hammering an inanimate object, and poking at people, especially as it concerns the guidelines.
 
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