Hi all. I'm new to this. Not just the forum but to the polyamorous idea. I have a first date tomorrow with a woman I met online. I'm only a little nervous about meeting her. I'm way uncomfortable about meeting her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is married and the woman I have a date with lives with them. I have never dated a woman who has a boyfriend and girlfriend already. I really like talking to her and we seem to get along fantastically. Is there any advice you can give me about what I should expect.
Advice please
- Thread starter RideUtah
- Start date
If tomorrow is only your first date with her, I'm not understanding why meeting her boyfriend is even a consideration. You're going on a date with *her*, not him, right?
As for what to expect... what would you expect on your first date with a woman who *didn't* have other partners? Actually, then again, why expect anything? Go in with an open mind, get to know her as a person (poly folk aren't some foreign species, we're human just like you), and see what happens.
As for what to expect... what would you expect on your first date with a woman who *didn't* have other partners? Actually, then again, why expect anything? Go in with an open mind, get to know her as a person (poly folk aren't some foreign species, we're human just like you), and see what happens.
Expect it to be a polite first date.
Just say "Hi" to the BF since he's giving her a lift due to injury, check in where she's supposed to be for pick up. Let the date be whatever it is. Make sure she's at her pick up point on time.
You can handle this.
Galagirl
Just say "Hi" to the BF since he's giving her a lift due to injury, check in where she's supposed to be for pick up. Let the date be whatever it is. Make sure she's at her pick up point on time.
You can handle this.
Galagirl
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I talked to her tonight and told her again that im really looking forward to meeting her but I was still really uncomfortable with meeting her boyfriend. I guess she told him about it and he apparently made the offer of just dropping her off and wait in the car with her until I arrive then leave. no meeting if I don't want it. I'm really having to think about this. If he is going to be understanding enough to do that I almost feel I owe it to him to at least speak to him tomorrow.
Inyourendo
New member
i went to a meeting with a potential date, it included his wife and my husband. it really wasn't a big deal since it was a quick coffee and not really a date. We eventually went on a date but he was way more formal with his expectations than me.
Hi RideUtah,
The boyfriend doesn't sound like a scary guy, why don't you go ahead and say hi to him and chat if he wants to chat? Even if it feels awkward at first, it might not stay that way.
Other than that I would just expect it to be a polite first date, like GalaGirl says.
Let us know how it turns out if you're willing.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
The boyfriend doesn't sound like a scary guy, why don't you go ahead and say hi to him and chat if he wants to chat? Even if it feels awkward at first, it might not stay that way.
Other than that I would just expect it to be a polite first date, like GalaGirl says.
Let us know how it turns out if you're willing.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
So we did have the date today. When the boyfriend dropped her off I walked to his truck helped her out reached in and shook is hand as I introduced myself. There wasn't much said between us. I asked if there was a time he needed her back he said not really.
She and I were wanting to have about a 3 hour date. It didn't happen. It was 11 hours lol. When I took her back to the park I walked her back to the truck kissed her and said hi to him. As I got back to my car I had a what the fuck am I doing moment.
I started second guessing if I wanted this. I was able to answer that question in under a minute yes I do.
We are planning a second date planned on Wednesday.
She and I were wanting to have about a 3 hour date. It didn't happen. It was 11 hours lol. When I took her back to the park I walked her back to the truck kissed her and said hi to him. As I got back to my car I had a what the fuck am I doing moment.
I started second guessing if I wanted this. I was able to answer that question in under a minute yes I do.
We are planning a second date planned on Wednesday.
11 hour first date? Wow, that must have been an overnight? Sounds like you two had good chemistry.
Glad you got the first meeting with her bf out of the way, quick and polite and painless. Good job!
So she is in a triad, involved romantically with both members of a married couple? This can come with problems of its own. Triads aren't easy. But it's a good sign she is free to also date others. How long has she been with her couple?
Glad you got the first meeting with her bf out of the way, quick and polite and painless. Good job!
So she is in a triad, involved romantically with both members of a married couple? This can come with problems of its own. Triads aren't easy. But it's a good sign she is free to also date others. How long has she been with her couple?
