I have been with my husband for 13 years. We have always had a great marriage, even when things were rough in life. This is kinda a long story so I feel like it might jump back and forth a little. But anyway... About maybe 6 years ago ? He had brought up the idea of maybe sleeping with other people, specifically one woman for him. Before this we were completely monogamous. We talked a little bit and even tho he brought up the idea, he was uncomfortable with me sleeping with someone else. I, on the other hand was not so uncomfortable with him having sex with other people. So I told him it's fine if he wanted to and I really had no need to sleep with anyone else at the time. Which was true. He went out a few times with her and found out he really couldn't sleep with her like he thought he could. They kinda just drifted off and stopped talking. Fast-forward to about a year ago he asked me again. If it would be okay for him to sleep with a girl he met at work. This time I thought about it because I realized that maybe now this is something that I want for myself. So I told him that would be okay ..In hopes he would be able to now reciprocate the same freedom for me. Well he was still iffy about it. So we agreed to start slow. But the second I try to talk to other people he just can't handle it. But in the mean time he's fine with talking to this woman from work and trying to persue a relationship with her. So I kinda just held back because I didn't want to start something and then have him say nevermind he couldn't do it, which I knew would happen. Well in the mean time he becomes good friends with coworker. And yet they never slept together. She ends up getting back with her husband so my husband and her just remain friends. And now he doesn't want to do this at all. He says it has nothing to do with her. And that he realizes this isn't what he wants and he is monogamous. I on the other hand can't help but feel like I got played and now I just get to sit here and wonder what could have been. I know I am not monogamous. I have spent the last year really looking into myself and figuring out who I am. I know I want to have another relationship besides my marriage. And now I just feel like stuck. We had an argument this week and he basically told me I have a choice. But in reality that choice is either leaving him or not. And I don't want to leave him I love him. I always have and always will. I meant it when I married him and I know I want him forever. And he says he just doesn't understand how I want a nother relationship. That if I want another relationship it's because he is not enough for me. And I really don't know how to explain to him that that is not why I am the way I am. Any tips on how to explain this to him would be helpful. And also how do I get over this feeling of missing out? I know I don't want to leave my husband and if I have to live a monogamous life I will. But how do I do that happily without wanting more ??