Are we hardwired for multiple partners? If so, what are the implications?

Evie

Kaitiaki
The issue is women are judged harshly for being promiscuous and men aren't.
Ahh, yes, the old studs/sluts thing.

Tbh, in my sub culture in my youth this wasn't so much a thing. I'm likely the exception, not the rule, even in NZ (which is largely more tolerant of sexualities anyway).

To continue to dismantle such things, I would like to think that education is key, but I think at best, education can plant the seed, nourish it a little.

I'd like to take a moment to thank the Baby Boomers for the sexual revolution. It made me able to live my youth more authentically. Out of curiosity, have you noticed the pendulum swing so far back the other way, North American peeps? Have the gains of the '70-90s been lost?
 

Marcus

Well-known member

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Re (from Evie):
"Out of curiosity, have you noticed the pendulum swing so far back the other way, North American peeps? Have the gains of the '70-'90s been lost?"

My estimate is that some, but not all, of the gains have been lost. Which may in a way be a good thing, young people today (in their 20's) seem to have better common sense than, perhaps, those in the past.
 

tdh

Active member
Re (from Evie):

Out of curiosity, have you noticed the pendulum swing so far back the other way, North American peeps? Have the gains of the '70-'90s been lost?"

My estimate is that some, but not all, of the gains have been lost. Which may in a way be a good thing, young people today (in their 20's) seem to have better common sense than, perhaps, those in the past.
Think this depends on where you live in the US. Larger cities like NY, Chicago, San Jose/SF/Oakland, LA, etc...have kept the progress but south and midwest not so much. Not sure on the North East US
 

GalaGirl

Well-known member
Right, sexist men claim women are choosy and not as interested in sex as much as men. Scientists ran tests which showed this is not true. Women want sex as much as men do. People conducted surveys where female volunteers agreed to give honest answers on sex in exchange for anonymity. The results were that women wanted sex just as much as men. The issue is women are judged harshly for being promiscuous and men aren't. There's also other biological factors which I'll explain in another post.

I think both women and men have always had the same desire for sex even without scientists studying it.

I think that women couldn't/can't always express it the same because of other things that interwined with it. Not just biological factors. Or the "women are sluts" and "men are studs" if they have sex before marriage thing. Or like a woman is "damaged goods" or something if she isn't a virgin where a man is expected to be "experienced" or something.

But other things that intertwine with having agency over one's own body, access to health care, and then being able to pay for your stuff yourself without anyone blocking you or getting all up in your biz. Being able to say "No, thanks" AND "joyful yes" to sex with confidence that both answers will be respected.

Some things are still in living memory. Birth control (BC) being illegal for singles and marrieds in the 60s. A woman not being allowed to have a bank account or credit card of her own without hubby signing off on it in the 70s. Risking getting fired if she got pregnant. Not being able to say "no" when married. Marriage bed rape wasn't illegal nationwide til 1993. My mother was raised to think it is her "duty" to share sex with her husband whenever he wants whether or not she is in the mood or not. Sexual harassment laws coverage being enough or not.

Or access to sex education things. BC advertising used to be illegal. How would you know your options well? What exists? Or even just knowing which birth control pills could be used as emergency contraceptive pills even before Preven or Plan B were around and how to take them for that purpose... like how could you ask the doc for dosage guidance if you don't even know you could do that? Or ask for copper IUD?

The practice of "stealthing?" Then what?

I think that while women may have had the same desire all along? Their ability to say "yes" to sex in the same way men get to was/is not always there depending on the time/country they live(d) in.

"Out of curiosity, have you noticed the pendulum swing so far back the other way, North American peeps? Have the gains of the '70-'90s been lost?"

Some of the changes that happened under Trump are listed on


Even today the brouhaha over BC, abortion, sex education in schools, and is up and downy in the US. The Texas bill is in the news lately because it is banning abortion after 6 weeks pregnant. And you measure pregnancy from first day of last period. So some people don't even know they are pregnant that early.


Galagirl
 
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Evie

Kaitiaki
Re (from Evie):


My estimate is that some, but not all, of the gains have been lost. Which may in a way be a good thing, young people today (in their 20's) seem to have better common sense than, perhaps, those in the past.
What falls into the category of common sense, in this instance?
 
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icesong

Moderator
Staff member

Evie

Kaitiaki
Thanks Galagirl, that is some sad reading tbh.
 

Evie

Kaitiaki

icesong

Moderator
Staff member
Oh wow! I bought my first vibe with Knight at … 18 I’m pretty sure. 19 at the latest.
 
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