Note: all commentary and advice can be considered solicited in this thread. If I wasn't willing to talk about it, I wouldn't post it.
So, some of you may recognize me from Reddit recently. Going to retell the story with a little more detail since I'm less concerned about bot scraping on here.
Note that
I'm a 22 year old Accounting major going for my Masters and CPA license. I had a few elective credit hours to cover so I went for a music appreciation class. Well, part of the requirements is to attend two "live musical events" each semester and write a paper on them.
While you can technically use any sort of concert for this, it's cheaper to go to the ones on campus. We are broke college students. We use the campus concerts. Anyway,. I was planning to go with a couple acquaintances from the class. When I brought it up at a lunch we were having together they broke the news to me that this generally seen as a "date" event. Which was a bit of a problem as I hadn't had a girlfriend in a while. It might be a bit immature, but it is quite uncomfortable to be the single person in a couples event.
I was considering my options for either getting someone to go with me or outright switching events when one of the guys nudged me and pointed out Khloe. She's another student in the class, and he didn't think she had a boyfriend to go with herself. Well, okay, I won't be going MORE alone if I get shot down so why not? I grab my stuff and walk over, and ask her and her friend if they mind if I sit with them for a bit. They wave me in and we make the normal round of introductions as I had never met Hazel before and chat a bit.
After a bit of ice breaking, I ask if she wants to go to the concert with me, explaining that I didn't want to be the weird single guy there. She hesitates, then asks if Hazel can go along with us. I shrug and go "The more the merrier." I'm figuring that she wants to have a friend rather than being out with a relative stranger. We make plans to go out for a meal and go to the concert afterwards. We could have eaten at campus dining but very little is safe for formal clothing there.
Day of the event comes, I dig out my suit and grab a little stuffed animal and bouquet for each of them-yellow roses for Khloe and yellow lilies for Hazel-after making sure that neither of them were allergic. We meet up at the restaurant and they seemed to like the bouquets, which did help a lot in getting me over my nervousness. And then something amazing happened: we had a great time! I'm not a super social person so that actually surprised me a lot. In the restaurant the conversation was good and easy and at the concert we were all enjoying it.
After the concert was genuinely one of the funniest moments of my life. I found my friends in the crowd in the lobby. The ladies had gone to the restrooms so I was alone for the moment when I went up to chat. The guys introduced me to their dates, then asked if asking Khloe had gone poorly and I had ended up coming alone after all. I waved off their concern and told them it went great and that I was just waiting for my group while they used the facilities. We keep talking until I suddenly feel my arms get grabbed. Khloe had grabbed one side while Hazel had grabbed the other and come in close. One of the girlfriends asked who they were and Hazel said "We're his dates."
I desperately wish I had a camera for that moment. All of their faces were priceless, a mix of flabbergasted and befuddled beyond all comprehension. Honestly, even if nothing else had come from the entire situation, THAT would have been worth it! Once we got done laughing at them I made my introductions and clarified the situation. We ended up hanging out for a while outside until the couples left, and made plans to meet so Khloe and I could write our papers.
When we did, it was surprisingly enjoyable. I'm not much of a writer myself, preferring numbers to words and analysis to emotional interpretation, but it was honestly a good time talking about what we had noticed in the concert. Khloe is a very poetic writer and Hazel is something of an inveterate kibitzer. It took a couple hours and afterwards I suggested that we go out to the bowling alley for a bite to eat and a game or two. We went out and by the end of it, Hazel had suggested trading numbers so we could keep on meeting up. Cool, I was down.
So we've been hanging around for most of the semester, both doing both school and fun stuff together. Even on the more miserable projects, I had less stress than normal. And on the more fun times, it was great, not the least because they didn't mind doing a broad array of things instead of always doing the same thing. It was happy.
Which brings me to Christmas break. I'm getting ready to head back home, but we decided to go out one more time as the town around the college was having a Christmas event. I had always enjoyed Silver Bells back home but hadn't been since I had started college so I missed it. We were having fun, but even I started to feel that there was tension. Finally we sat down by the Civil War statue and I asked what was going on.
They gave each other looks. That immediately raised my tension because it means that there is trouble and I've missed it. That has happened a lot to me unfortunately; I tend to miss hints or deeper meanings. Khloe started to say something but stopped so Hazel stepped in and asked if I knew they were bi.
I'm a little confused and a lot shocked by this particular turn in the conversation. "No? I hadn't really been worried about it."
Khloe giggles nervously(?) and starts explaining that they were not just friends but a couple. I had entirely missed this somehow. It did give me an idea of where this conversation was going though. I had had a couple of friend groups where members had paired off and decided that they needed more them time. I figure that I'm about to be given the third wheel talk and shrug. It was a good time while it lasted, you know?
And then Hazel managed to rock me from an ENTIRELY different direction: "We've talked it over, and if you're open to it, we want you to join us. Otherwise we can just stay friends!"
Now. I'm not one for outbursts of emotions in the first place. I tend to freeze to try to process things rather than taking rash actions. This shut me down the same way a sledgehammer shuts down a laptop. Which is apparently a concerning reaction but once I got responsive and reassured them I wasn't mad or anything, we had a long and serious talk. I asked for some time think about things; I never even considered the idea before this and didn't want to jump in impulsively. Partially because I was very worried that it would be my hormones making the decision for me.
I have talked to a couple of my siblings about the situation and they have given some advice but I don't think they really believe me. Which...fair. Not exactly Don Juan here.
I also posted from a throwaway account on Reddit Nonmonogamy. This has been significantly more helpful. Some people pointed out things that I hadn't even thought about and helped me focus my thoughts and make up my mind on what to do next. When I get back I'm going to take them up on the offer and have an actual date with the both of them and have the talk about how this is going to work. Then assuming that everything goes well, I'm going to take Khloe and Hazel out on individual dates.
I'm intending to use this space as a journal of sorts of my journey through extremely unfamiliar territory. I don't know what's coming but I intend to be as real as possible. I'm hoping that this doesn't end with "Well THAT was a mistake" but who knows? I guess we'll see.
A bit about me: I'm an accounting major from a conservative background. I come from a decently sized immediate family and a very large extended family. I do want a family of my own, something that I did talk to Hazel and Khloe about. I really haven't had any contact with the poly or gay lifestyle. I'm certainly no kind of experienced lover, my longest relationship was a month and never got beyond making out.
Trust me, I am fully aware that I know nothing.
Welcome to Bakon's trip: called that because I'm still not certain that this isn't the result of me getting the wrong mushroom when I was cooking.
So, some of you may recognize me from Reddit recently. Going to retell the story with a little more detail since I'm less concerned about bot scraping on here.
Note that
I'm a 22 year old Accounting major going for my Masters and CPA license. I had a few elective credit hours to cover so I went for a music appreciation class. Well, part of the requirements is to attend two "live musical events" each semester and write a paper on them.
While you can technically use any sort of concert for this, it's cheaper to go to the ones on campus. We are broke college students. We use the campus concerts. Anyway,. I was planning to go with a couple acquaintances from the class. When I brought it up at a lunch we were having together they broke the news to me that this generally seen as a "date" event. Which was a bit of a problem as I hadn't had a girlfriend in a while. It might be a bit immature, but it is quite uncomfortable to be the single person in a couples event.
I was considering my options for either getting someone to go with me or outright switching events when one of the guys nudged me and pointed out Khloe. She's another student in the class, and he didn't think she had a boyfriend to go with herself. Well, okay, I won't be going MORE alone if I get shot down so why not? I grab my stuff and walk over, and ask her and her friend if they mind if I sit with them for a bit. They wave me in and we make the normal round of introductions as I had never met Hazel before and chat a bit.
After a bit of ice breaking, I ask if she wants to go to the concert with me, explaining that I didn't want to be the weird single guy there. She hesitates, then asks if Hazel can go along with us. I shrug and go "The more the merrier." I'm figuring that she wants to have a friend rather than being out with a relative stranger. We make plans to go out for a meal and go to the concert afterwards. We could have eaten at campus dining but very little is safe for formal clothing there.
Day of the event comes, I dig out my suit and grab a little stuffed animal and bouquet for each of them-yellow roses for Khloe and yellow lilies for Hazel-after making sure that neither of them were allergic. We meet up at the restaurant and they seemed to like the bouquets, which did help a lot in getting me over my nervousness. And then something amazing happened: we had a great time! I'm not a super social person so that actually surprised me a lot. In the restaurant the conversation was good and easy and at the concert we were all enjoying it.
After the concert was genuinely one of the funniest moments of my life. I found my friends in the crowd in the lobby. The ladies had gone to the restrooms so I was alone for the moment when I went up to chat. The guys introduced me to their dates, then asked if asking Khloe had gone poorly and I had ended up coming alone after all. I waved off their concern and told them it went great and that I was just waiting for my group while they used the facilities. We keep talking until I suddenly feel my arms get grabbed. Khloe had grabbed one side while Hazel had grabbed the other and come in close. One of the girlfriends asked who they were and Hazel said "We're his dates."
I desperately wish I had a camera for that moment. All of their faces were priceless, a mix of flabbergasted and befuddled beyond all comprehension. Honestly, even if nothing else had come from the entire situation, THAT would have been worth it! Once we got done laughing at them I made my introductions and clarified the situation. We ended up hanging out for a while outside until the couples left, and made plans to meet so Khloe and I could write our papers.
When we did, it was surprisingly enjoyable. I'm not much of a writer myself, preferring numbers to words and analysis to emotional interpretation, but it was honestly a good time talking about what we had noticed in the concert. Khloe is a very poetic writer and Hazel is something of an inveterate kibitzer. It took a couple hours and afterwards I suggested that we go out to the bowling alley for a bite to eat and a game or two. We went out and by the end of it, Hazel had suggested trading numbers so we could keep on meeting up. Cool, I was down.
So we've been hanging around for most of the semester, both doing both school and fun stuff together. Even on the more miserable projects, I had less stress than normal. And on the more fun times, it was great, not the least because they didn't mind doing a broad array of things instead of always doing the same thing. It was happy.
Which brings me to Christmas break. I'm getting ready to head back home, but we decided to go out one more time as the town around the college was having a Christmas event. I had always enjoyed Silver Bells back home but hadn't been since I had started college so I missed it. We were having fun, but even I started to feel that there was tension. Finally we sat down by the Civil War statue and I asked what was going on.
They gave each other looks. That immediately raised my tension because it means that there is trouble and I've missed it. That has happened a lot to me unfortunately; I tend to miss hints or deeper meanings. Khloe started to say something but stopped so Hazel stepped in and asked if I knew they were bi.
I'm a little confused and a lot shocked by this particular turn in the conversation. "No? I hadn't really been worried about it."
Khloe giggles nervously(?) and starts explaining that they were not just friends but a couple. I had entirely missed this somehow. It did give me an idea of where this conversation was going though. I had had a couple of friend groups where members had paired off and decided that they needed more them time. I figure that I'm about to be given the third wheel talk and shrug. It was a good time while it lasted, you know?
And then Hazel managed to rock me from an ENTIRELY different direction: "We've talked it over, and if you're open to it, we want you to join us. Otherwise we can just stay friends!"
Now. I'm not one for outbursts of emotions in the first place. I tend to freeze to try to process things rather than taking rash actions. This shut me down the same way a sledgehammer shuts down a laptop. Which is apparently a concerning reaction but once I got responsive and reassured them I wasn't mad or anything, we had a long and serious talk. I asked for some time think about things; I never even considered the idea before this and didn't want to jump in impulsively. Partially because I was very worried that it would be my hormones making the decision for me.
I have talked to a couple of my siblings about the situation and they have given some advice but I don't think they really believe me. Which...fair. Not exactly Don Juan here.
I also posted from a throwaway account on Reddit Nonmonogamy. This has been significantly more helpful. Some people pointed out things that I hadn't even thought about and helped me focus my thoughts and make up my mind on what to do next. When I get back I'm going to take them up on the offer and have an actual date with the both of them and have the talk about how this is going to work. Then assuming that everything goes well, I'm going to take Khloe and Hazel out on individual dates.
I'm intending to use this space as a journal of sorts of my journey through extremely unfamiliar territory. I don't know what's coming but I intend to be as real as possible. I'm hoping that this doesn't end with "Well THAT was a mistake" but who knows? I guess we'll see.
A bit about me: I'm an accounting major from a conservative background. I come from a decently sized immediate family and a very large extended family. I do want a family of my own, something that I did talk to Hazel and Khloe about. I really haven't had any contact with the poly or gay lifestyle. I'm certainly no kind of experienced lover, my longest relationship was a month and never got beyond making out.
Trust me, I am fully aware that I know nothing.
Welcome to Bakon's trip: called that because I'm still not certain that this isn't the result of me getting the wrong mushroom when I was cooking.
