Well, that’s an interesting turn of events.
I deleted a paragraph from my last reply about my curiosity as to whether your girlfriend would allow you to seek a long-term relationship, to explore the possibility of the V becoming an N or W or zigzag, etc. I thought that line of thought wouldn’t be so helpful to a person who definitely wasn’t interested in polyamory for himself. I’m glad Kevin brought it up in his response.
That you are suddenly interested in the possibility of a second long-term relationship for yourself suggests you seriously never imagined it before declaring your definite monogamy, or that you’re really grasping at ideas to keep this relationship going.
Do go back and read what Galagirl said about pretzels. It’s great to explore something new. But don’t try to be who you aren’t, if there’s only misery in it for you.
That post was all about fairness. Believe or not, it is very important for me to be in a fair situation. I.e. if she is allowed to have another relationship, I would also have to be able to have something for myself. I am not saying that I would pursue anything, but the option to do that is also quite fine.
However, I thought about that after the post.
I get a feeling that the romantic requirement might be just to limit my options to polywomen as I can only assume that they are the only ones who might consider that. From what I have seen here, I am sure that I will not find majority of them even remotely interesting. They seem toxic to me. I guess she knows that it would be easy for me to get a fwb but almost impossible to find a woman who I would feel connected to from the pool she wants me to dive in.
Not all of the poly ladies here seem toxic to me.