MelloHippie
New member
Thanks for taking the time to read and respond.
I am new to the world of poly. My husband and I have been together for 7 years and we always knew we didn’t want to be monogamous. Not many opportunities arose to explore outside relationships though other than some tinder messages here in there.
My husband and I recently had discussed and asked out one of our close friends that we’ve had for a year and a half. We knew they were interested in dating a couple and with how often they were over and how well we all got along it seemed like the next step. Keep in mind prior to the official calling of the relationship there hadn’t been much physical intimacy other than hugs and some cuddles. So when we all decide to date the physical side started coming out, as it should, but I found myself struggling to enjoy those things with our new partner. Basic things like kisses, one on one cuddles, long hugs etc.
A few weeks in I had a convo with everyone that I had decided to take a step back from the relationship because I just wasn’t feeling very romantically invested in our new partner. Please understand that I do love this person but sometimes the lines between romantic and platonic love aren’t the most clear and I was uneducated with the poly world and in some ways I felt we all had to do this together. That’s ultimately what my husband and I wanted even though we established we could date separately.
My husband and them continue to date and I’m perfectly fine with that. Now I wasn’t completely uncomfortable with our new partner, in all other aspects aside from physical I felt they were a partner to me. When I’ve thought about our future I think of them in it. I see them as my family and in ways I do want to be with them all together in a relationship. So is it possible for me to still be a partner to them in a triad/poly relationship if it’s platonic between myself and the new partner? Romantic between husband and myself. Romantic between husband and new partner. Platonic between new partner and myself but still considered partners.
In the end I know this is something to be discussed and decided between myself and the 2 other people involved. And if we feel that’s what’s right we can chose to make that our titles. But is this something that happens normally in the poly world? I feel like I love this new partner more than a friend, but I don’t really want to be physical. I also feel like I’m teetering on the Ace spectrum within my own physical sexual needs so that’s something to keep in mind I guess. I do feel comfortable being physical with my husband but there are times that the desire for me is far and few between.
Just looking for some thoughts on the matter. Please be kind with any responses you write. I am new.
I am new to the world of poly. My husband and I have been together for 7 years and we always knew we didn’t want to be monogamous. Not many opportunities arose to explore outside relationships though other than some tinder messages here in there.
My husband and I recently had discussed and asked out one of our close friends that we’ve had for a year and a half. We knew they were interested in dating a couple and with how often they were over and how well we all got along it seemed like the next step. Keep in mind prior to the official calling of the relationship there hadn’t been much physical intimacy other than hugs and some cuddles. So when we all decide to date the physical side started coming out, as it should, but I found myself struggling to enjoy those things with our new partner. Basic things like kisses, one on one cuddles, long hugs etc.
A few weeks in I had a convo with everyone that I had decided to take a step back from the relationship because I just wasn’t feeling very romantically invested in our new partner. Please understand that I do love this person but sometimes the lines between romantic and platonic love aren’t the most clear and I was uneducated with the poly world and in some ways I felt we all had to do this together. That’s ultimately what my husband and I wanted even though we established we could date separately.
My husband and them continue to date and I’m perfectly fine with that. Now I wasn’t completely uncomfortable with our new partner, in all other aspects aside from physical I felt they were a partner to me. When I’ve thought about our future I think of them in it. I see them as my family and in ways I do want to be with them all together in a relationship. So is it possible for me to still be a partner to them in a triad/poly relationship if it’s platonic between myself and the new partner? Romantic between husband and myself. Romantic between husband and new partner. Platonic between new partner and myself but still considered partners.
In the end I know this is something to be discussed and decided between myself and the 2 other people involved. And if we feel that’s what’s right we can chose to make that our titles. But is this something that happens normally in the poly world? I feel like I love this new partner more than a friend, but I don’t really want to be physical. I also feel like I’m teetering on the Ace spectrum within my own physical sexual needs so that’s something to keep in mind I guess. I do feel comfortable being physical with my husband but there are times that the desire for me is far and few between.
Just looking for some thoughts on the matter. Please be kind with any responses you write. I am new.