Day 1 of my Poly... Journey? 🙄

[Eastender]

I'm kind of just coming to terms with it today. I always knew it was a part of me but I didn't know I'd be able to start forgiving myself for merely desiring multiple connections and spreading as much love as possible. I absorbed a lot of old school shame in my family. Midwest, Irish Catholic, etc. Labels. Attachments. Limitations. My brain never got that and I always felt so wrong. It feels freeing just typing this. Where the hell do I begin? Good to be here. What the hell do I tell my wife who I love more than anything? - Tom 37 Cali

 

[Evie]

Pick a movie? Use it open a discussion and see if she has any curiosity about it?

https://polyamory.com/threads/polyamory-films.155479/

 

[Magdlyn]

Here's a brief list of what to do to bring up this subject with a spouse/partner.

8 Tips on Asking Your Partner for a Polyamorous Relationship

Do you crave a polyamorous relationship? Here are some handy tips to help you navigate the murky waters of asking your partner to think about polyamory.

www.marriage.com

 

[Magdlyn]

Are you and your wife still practicing Catholics? Or maybe you left the church, but she's still in it. Do you have kids?

I'm glad you feel freer just from typing this out.

 

[kdt26417]

Hello Eastender,

The suggestions you've received so far are very good, and are good steps for you to take here at the beginning of your poly journey. You do need your wife to be on board with this before you actually start pursuing this. One thing that might help, is for you and your wife to read a certain book together. The book is called, "Sex at Dawn: how we mate, why we stray, and what it means for modern relationships," by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá. It is an enjoyable read, and most importantly, it sheds a fresh light on monogamy, nonmonogamy, and what it means to be human. It might help your wife open her mind a bit to the idea of polyamory being a positive thing.

In the meantime, keep reading and posting here on this forum. It's a really good place for helping you figure out each step of your poly journey. And it is definitely a journey.

Regards,
Kevin T.