PinkPig
Well-known member
I'm newer to the poly thing. My current bf, Blue, is my first poly relationship. We've been together a year. During that time, he's dated 3 people. He was already involved with the first two when we started dating. I had no anxiety over those relationships... I think because they were already involved in his life before me and he was choosing to be add me? Both of those relationships ended for various reasons (one girl was mentally instable and the other was a LDR that just naturally faded.) When he first started dating the 3rd girl, I had a lot of anxiety/fear, and jealousy (not of her but of the fact that they were able to spend more time together because my life is much busier than either of theirs.) He introduced us about a month or so into their relationship and we became friends/ended up in closed triad. The anxiety dissipated once I knew her/became friends with her. That triad ended when she moved away.
Fast forward to now. Blue's been on a couple dates the last month and I find the old anxiety/fear resurfacing. I am confident of my place in his life. I have no doubt he's not trying to replace me and our relationship is as strong and healthy as ever. We communicate well, so it's not that... I don't know if it's the years of monogamy hard-wired in me? Or, maybe it's because he's actively using his old OKC account? He's shown me his profile and he does mention being in a committed relationship, so it's not like he's not being totally up front.
So, my question is, how do you alleviate the anxiety and fear when your partner begins dating again? Does it get easier the longer you're together? Or, is this an indication that I"m not cut out for poly?
Fast forward to now. Blue's been on a couple dates the last month and I find the old anxiety/fear resurfacing. I am confident of my place in his life. I have no doubt he's not trying to replace me and our relationship is as strong and healthy as ever. We communicate well, so it's not that... I don't know if it's the years of monogamy hard-wired in me? Or, maybe it's because he's actively using his old OKC account? He's shown me his profile and he does mention being in a committed relationship, so it's not like he's not being totally up front.
So, my question is, how do you alleviate the anxiety and fear when your partner begins dating again? Does it get easier the longer you're together? Or, is this an indication that I"m not cut out for poly?