Effective communication


Well-known member
If she would have told me literally from our second date that she wanted a GB with her and a bunch of guys, and that was an occasional semi frequent thing, I would have walked. I would have said I'm sorry but in no way is that enjoyable for me.

Did this change any?

If you broke up and got back together so quickly...

Make sure you aren't back together from habit. Or because dealing with break up feelings is ugh. Or you feel lonely.

I can explore that yes, but we are done now. She is a bit too much for me I think. I know there are other women out there who would be happy enough with MFM.

Cuz that didn't change in a few days.

We called it quits yesterday. Honestly I will really miss her, but I probably need someone more on my level. I am ok with swinging or light poly, but I can't handle what she wants in life. She wants total freedom to do as she wishes with her body but she doesn't seem to realize that it's my body too, and what she does directly effects me.

Does she still want to be like a free agent? And not deal with your preferences?

Are you going to be more vocal about the things that affect you?

I wish she started us off with MFM. I could have started with that then tried MMMF or MMMFF. MMMMMF is just an entirely different experience IMO. I would need to be way more comfortable with myself, and everyone to be ok with that.

Are you going to stop wishing? And just SAY what you can deal with and cannot deal with? Because she cannot be a mind reader. And you telling her isn't bossing her around. It's making her aware of where you stand.

Did you tell her what you actually MEAN when you say "light swing" or "light poly?"

What's going to make the second attempt different?

Not saying any of that to be mean. Just saying... make sure you think this out. And if you ARE going to give this a second try, get around to having the honest conversations you could have had from the beginning to assess compatibility.

Do the work so it really is like "reaching greater understanding and turning over a new leaf." And not just "dragging out a break up." YKWIM?