Embarrassed in the Bedroom

Rooster

Member
The other night my wife and I were cuddled up in bed when it started raining. I don't know why buy the white noise of rain hitting the roof and the sound of distant rolling thunder really gets me going.

So naturally I initiate foreplay and she is responding positively. Then she said , you know, there's not a lot of nerve endings in the labia. You don't need to waste time 'warming it up' if it's not dry just go straight for the 'little man in the boat'.

I was like, oh why didn't you say that years ago? She responded "I didn't want to kill the mood".

It did kill the mood for a second,but I got back on track. I told her if I'm doing something wrong just let me know. If you don't wanna hurt the mood then let me know afterwards. Not RIGHT after but before the next time.

Now I feel dumb. I know this is probably common knowledge for most of humanity but because I never had a complaint until now it just never dawned on me.

Anyway, just making some fireplace chit-chat. All thoughts and stories welcome.
 

GalaGirl

Well-known member
I don't know why people don't just talk about their sex preferences. Every person is gonna be different in what they do and do not like. It's why I liked that scene in "Chasing Amy" so much ages ago.


"I let her know where to go and what the status is. You gotta handle it like CNN and the weather channel... constant updates."

LOL.

GG
 

Evie

Kaitiaki
The other night my wife and I were cuddled up in bed when it started raining. I don't know why buy the white noise of rain hitting the roof and the sound of distant rolling thunder really gets me going.

So naturally I initiate foreplay and she is responding positively. Then she said , you know, there's not a lot of nerve endings in the labia. You don't need to waste time 'warming it up' if it's not dry just go straight for the 'little man in the boat'.

I was like, oh why didn't you say that years ago? She responded "I didn't want to kill the mood".

It did kill the mood for a second,but I got back on track. I told her if I'm doing something wrong just let me know. If you don't wanna hurt the mood then let me know afterwards. Not RIGHT after but before the next time.

Now I feel dumb. I know this is probably common knowledge for most of humanity but because I never had a complaint until now it just never dawned on me.

Anyway, just making some fireplace chit-chat. All thoughts and stories welcome.
That's a bit of a bugger you felt embarrassed, there's really no need to, and you may find that a different woman would give a different direction. You can almost guarantee that you wife doesn't actually know everything that would feel pleasurable to her yet, or that something she didn't necessarily like years ago now has quite the opposite experience. Just some encouragement to keep it all fresh by continuing to learn each other. Now may be a good time to open a conversation with her about tweaking techniques or trying something totally different.
 

Rooster

Member
That part where he says "hey, I always notice that bored look in her eye" had me cracking up! But also if the body language is "hurry up and get it over with" then that's what I feel compelled to do.
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Women can vary a lot in how things feel on their bodies. Even day to day, sometimes you want one thing that you may not have wanted 2 days ago. This can be caused by hormone fluctuation, mood, who knows? Sometimes you want it rough, sometimes you want it slow and easy, right?

The clitoris is not just the button, it is actually a Y-shaped organ that does extend down through the labia. So you weren't wrong to lick there. I'm glad she finally spoke up, telling you her labia are not where it's at for her.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Hi Rooster,

Like the others are saying, I believe that there are as many different preferences and sensations as there are women. I'll bet there are plenty of women that love the attention paid to their labia. And plenty that don't.

I'm kind of of your mind. One could argue that talking a lot about mechanical details could kill the mood, but there's no mood to kill if you do the talking in between sexual encounters. It's all a part of that communication thing that we say is so important in polyamory. It's important in monogamy too. Some couples probably go all their lives missing out on the full sexual experience they could have simply because they've been taught it's not "proper" to talk about sex. Heck, a lot of right-wingers out there even teach that any sexual pleasure at all is but a necessary evil -- that the only thing about sex that matters is reproduction. And from there we slide into the notion that women should *never* abort ... nor ever use birth control, etc. etc.

There may be some that would say, that men are more predictable than women. A man has one obvious pleasure center, and as long as that gets all the attention, he's happy, right? but of course even that's not true. Some like it rough, some like it soft, and some do like attention paid to other parts of their body. Plus you can be in the mood for one thing one day, and for something else the next day. In which case I guess you do need to talk about it right while the sex is going on.

Just a few random thoughts,
Kevin T.
 

Rooster

Member
Some couples probably go all their lives missing out on the full sexual experience they could have simply because they've been taught it's not "proper" to talk about sex.
Yes or in some cases to embarrassed to discus certain things.
 

under_moonlight

New member
Yes or in some cases to embarrassed to discus certain things.

We worked this out mostly before we opened up, but I was definitely embarrassed for the longest time telling my husband things that I liked or didn't like about sex. To boot, I found out that he had been keeping quiet on somethings as well! Now we share videos/articles/etc of things we want to try are much more vocal during our time together. I try not to dwell on all of the good sex we could have been having in our earlier years if we weren't such awkward dummies 😂

- Moon
 

Ariakas

Bosun
The other night my wife and I were cuddled up in bed when it started raining. I don't know why buy the white noise of rain hitting the roof and the sound of distant rolling thunder really gets me going.

So naturally I initiate foreplay and she is responding positively. Then she said , you know, there's not a lot of nerve endings in the labia. You don't need to waste time 'warming it up' if it's not dry just go straight for the 'little man in the boat'.

I was like, oh why didn't you say that years ago? She responded "I didn't want to kill the mood".

It did kill the mood for a second,but I got back on track. I told her if I'm doing something wrong just let me know. If you don't wanna hurt the mood then let me know afterwards. Not RIGHT after but before the next time.

Now I feel dumb. I know this is probably common knowledge for most of humanity but because I never had a complaint until now it just never dawned on me.

Anyway, just making some fireplace chit-chat. All thoughts and stories welcome.
Cool, and now you know, and knowing is half the battle. Now you dont need to waste finger or tongue energy on a space that isn't pleasant. Go to town on the little soldier. :)

I prefer when people tell me, I hate wasting time on an arm pit when she really wants her nipples played with ;)
 

Emmjay

Member
You know Rooster, I think it was so awesome that you talked about this on the forum, so really wanted to give you respect for that.

When it comes to sexuality, I have no problem advocating for myself, it's when I have to speak for my emotions that it gets sticky. (See what I did there?)

I really don't think there is a stupid when it comes to sex. (Not counting the guy in my early 20s who asked me if I would hurry up.) Like Magdlyn said, its individual in person, time, and those who are sharing it; although you go back to person if you are touching yourself. I wish there was more honesty about it all. Much appreciation to your voice and also to GG's video clip, god that was perfect!
 
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