Family size.

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poly6

New member
I have a random question for the people on this board. How many people are currently involved in your poly network(I think I'm using that term correctly) or family. What genders and sexualities are involved and how do you all personally make it work.


Another thing that would be nice to know would be what is the biggest poly family that you know of and how many members?

By the way it's a pleasure to meet all of you.
 
Just sam (mono straight), nate (polysexual straight) and me (bi, not seeking more partners) Nate has a few casual playmates and he's gone on a couple dates with Jo (straight, there may be gf potential there)I have no idea about Jo's network

I don't really know of any big poly networks, I dated a man last spring who lived with hi girlfriend and her other boyfriend and husband. They were mostly polyfidelitous other than playmates. They are highly involved in our very active local fet community
 
Just 3 in mine - I am the hinge in a vee between 2 mono men. We're polyfi at the moment.

I know of a cohabitating 4 pack but all other poly peeps I personally have met have been in 3s.
 
If we're counting network and not "family", as all the relationships are VERY new, my network is a bit bigger than that at the moment. I'm married and bi, my husband is, hmm, we'll call it heteroflexible. He's currently seeing Sunshine (bi female) fairly often and KinkyChemist (bi female) occasionally. Sunshine is married to DinoActivist (a bi man), who I'm dating, and also has one other partner. DinoActivist is seeing two other people as well as Sunshine and I. I'm seeing one other person, MartialArtist (who is a straight guy. You knew there had to be ONE in this whole thing, right?).

It's perhaps a little much. ;-) Although I'm not sure I'm actually poly saturated, I could make time for the right other person.

And none of us (except of course the two married dyads) have any intention of living together any time soon if ever. Which means I'm not sure that I am actually one of the people you're asking about?
 
We have a stable vee across two households.

One household is Woof (bi M), SlowPoly (bi F), and our three kids.

One household is Mitch (straight M) and SlowPoly.

I think of us as separate families, but my whole immediate family is six. Who knows how I'll think of us when I have a tiny one attached to me (currently pregnant with Mitch).
 
Inyourendo said:
Slowpoly do you bring your 3 children with you?
Click to expand...

I don't. Woof stays with them all the time. They are tweens and a teen, and all boys. They all four seem content with the setup. They're on an extended vacation right now, and Woof seems pretty happy playing single Dad.

Until recently I've spent more time with Woof and the kids than with Mitch. That will probably flip when the little one comes, as Mitch will need to spend as much of his free time as possible with me and our baby. The commute between is long, but doable for a day trip. I'll probably stay with Woof and the boys for just a couple of nights midweek.

We don't have any extra space at Mitch's place, so we are considering a move that would make it possible for an older kid (one at a time) to stay with us. Mitch has lived alone for many years, and we have moved slowly with me moving in. Baby steps.

Nobody wants to break this - it grows so nicely when we give it time. We haven't seen a reason to pile on the challenge of negotiating Mitch's relationships with Woof and the kids, much less cohabiting with them. But when the baby comes, there will be more interaction. So they're all going to meet each other in a couple of months.
 
my group(s)

Let's see in total is 10. One is local and one is long distance:

Me-->Bassman<--Wild Orchid-->Dude<--Messa (local)

In my long distance is Sir with us girls: Me, Fairy, Raven, Milk Maid and another girl
 
Our poly configuration is currently a V. Maca, me and GG.
Two kids still live at home.
One "borrowed" adult child is back in the home with her 8 month old while she gets stabilized to find her own place after a break up.

Previously there were 4 in our poly configuration.
Previously there were 5 kids at home.

There are also 2 grandkids, one adoption in progress and one in the oven...
 
Re (from OP):
"How many people are currently involved in your poly network or family? What genders and sexualities are involved and how do you all personally make it work?"
Click to expand...

Three people: a hetero poly-fi MFM V. No kids. I don't know that I would say we exactly "make it work;" it pretty much runs itself.

Of course, we did have a couple of rough years in the beginning, with many sit-downs to assess everyone's needs and figure out strategies for meeting those needs. Privacy was an issue.

Re:
"Another thing that would be nice to know would be what is the biggest poly family that you know of and how many members?"
Click to expand...

I can't quote exact numbers, but I'd say I've known of networks of about a dozen adults. If you count the Kerista Commune as one such network, they seem to have had scores of members (some coming, some going), operating something like a religious order with very few kids. Most of the men had vasectomies.
 
To date I have seen some poly families in public on tv (don't know any personally) I remember hearing one story of a man with 24 wives and like over a hundred kids, and another with 39 wives and currently looking for his 40th with I don't remember how many kids.
 
"A man with dozens of wives" sounds like polygamy, which is typically distinguished from polyamory by its religious roots (the bond is usually referred to as a marriage for religious reasons, regardless of civil record keeping) and by the sexist privilege of males taking multiple wives, while women are not afforded the right to have multiple loves of any kind. Polygamy as practiced often has some heavy cultural weight behind it, or even outright duress.

Polyamory is generally considered to be more feminist (in the equalizing privilege aspect) and more fully voluntary.
 
Vee, Me (40/hetero male) Wife(45 bi female) Wifey(39 bi friendly female); wifey has two great kids I help her with, one about to be a senior and the other entering eighth grade
 
Family? Two - Hubby and Myself, unless we're including chosen family that we AREN'T engaged in anything poly-related with - in that case it would be 6 since Yarn and her husband and kids would be included as well.

Network? Who knows... I'm partnered to Hubby who is not seeing anyone nor open to new relationships at the moment. I'm FWB/somewhat romantic with Boy who isn't seeing anyone else regularly. I'm newly dating Cutie who is in a relationship with another woman as well as newly/casually dating 2-3 other people, but I don't anticipate ever being committed to Cutie, whereas I would ALMOST include Boy in family. I also have dates planned with two other guys this week - one is married, the other has a live-in partner.
 
I personally like the idea of having a family. By that I'm talking about adults. Undecided on kids at the moment.
 
I would have a hard time having kids in the house. Some people who are poly in theory have kids and find it impossible to combine that with poly in practice. Other people seem to make it work just fine.
 
It depends?...

On how you define things -

There is my household...there are three of us.

There is my "core" poly family - 5 of us in 2 households.

Then there is the whole "network" - which contains 7 to ?? depending on who you chose to include.

I tried to diagram it - but it just gets more and more complicated:

picture.php


Just from my personal perspective (I'm the purple dot)...I have:

1.) a husband (MrS)- who lives with me
2.) a boyfriend (Dude)- who lives with me
3.) a girlfriend (Lotus)- who lives with her husband
4.) a FB (TT) - who lives with his wife
5.) 2 FWB (VV and MsJ) - who live with their primary partners
6.) a "not-quite- FWB/not-quite-platonic-boytoy" (MrClean) - who dates others (usually one at a time) and has an ex-wife that he shares custody with..lives by himself, unless he has the kids
7.) a platonic girlfriend (Angel) - who is straight but loves me anyway and claims she has as much of a right to be included in my poly tangle as any of the "newcomers" :p...lives with her husband
8.) ....and then (not in the diagram) I have flirty friends that I have had sexy times with in the past and would again in the future if the opportunity arose...which it may or may not....I also have crushes and flirtations :rolleyes:
9.) some of these people have other relationships with others in the "tangle" and/or with others - how far out do you go?

I don't really draw a line between who is "in" the network and who loves me in what ways (sex seems such an arbitrary dividing line - especially as I am not one that requires an emotional connection to enjoy sexy times)...so I have a lot of grey areas...

PS. For those of you that think this looks complicated...keep in mind that I am an introvert that actually doesn't HAVE a whole lot of friends that aren't included in my poly tangle...I don't have "casual" friendships.
 
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