It's really fun to go back to the older threads on the Relationships forum, or go to the Golden Nuggets threads, and see how the culture here has changed. There were certain recommendations made constantly then that we'd never give now. I reorganized the archived Golden Nuggets threads earlier this year, and I found some of them a bit cringe-worthy. (Most of the advice is excellent, however.)
Redpepper's poly V crashed and burned in a really spectacular way. So did the V of Loving Radiance. They always had uneasy dynamics. They thought KTP would somehow save the day. But it really didn't.
Anyway, I think my point has been made about there being no monolithic "dominant line of thinking," other than perhaps the old "communicate, communicate, communicate," and "beware of NRE making you crazy." And that advice is good for any relationship, monoamorous ones included.
Back 15 years ago, Redpepper was constantly harping on the metamours meeting being a panacea and a way to almost guarantee a polyamorous network would be smooth and agreeable. She and others were also often telling new members to invite their partners to come here and read their thread and possibly post their side. That often backfired!
Yeah, while today the narrative is 'you don't have to ever meet your metamour, parallel is ok'. My friend was seriously enoyed with that. She pointed out that some people just DO get need to meet metamours in order to get comfortable (maybe Redpepper was that way, who knows).
As for reading each others' threads... yeah, I can imagine
Is it just my impression, or are there way less regular posters than there used to be? And correspondingly less diverse opinions? People don't stick around...
I wonder if it could be helped somehow.
Yeah this is definitely less active then I was hoping for as it’s nearly impossible to find real, sincere advice and insights on this topic elsewhere, or at least I am not looking in the right places
Yeah this is definitely less active then I was hoping for as it’s nearly impossible to find real, sincere advice and insights on this topic elsewhere, or at least I am not looking in the right places
We have become less active because of the rise of reddit, but we have the advantage of easily searchable archives going back to 2009. Check out the Golden Nuggets section, or choose pages of threads from the Poly Relationships Corner. There are 424 pages in that section of 20 threads each. At any time we have hundreds of people here just reading these older threads. It's truly a treasure trove of experiences and education!
I poke my nose back in every many months or so. It’s good to see familiar names and new ones. I have grieved Vinsanity, as I’m sure he’d have been here along the way if he could.
So many good voices, and yes, evolving perspectives. Hi from slowland.